Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!
The Atomic Bombshells entered this match with a 1-0 record; having narrowly defeated the Rockits in January, the Bombshells were looking for another win to firm up their championship berth in April. The Dolls were a game behind after a nine-point defeat by the Garda Belts and needed this win to reasonably seek the berth. With a three-game season before the finals, every point in every game counted...particularly in a season as close as this one.
The Dagger Dolls' second-year jammer Psycho Novia took her place at the jammer line against Bombshell Venus Thightrap. Both shot into the pack, but Venus was able to wind her way through just a hair more quickly, scored two, and called off the jam just as Psycho was set to re-engage. Venus' teammate L'exi Cuter jumped through a hipcheck from Dagger Doll blocker Sinaminn and grabbed the next lead. Her opponent Sparkle Ninja attempted to slide through the inside to pass the final Bombshell blocker, Jocelyn D'Jewels, but Jewels shaved Sparkle just over the line. Sparkle kept going, and the refs sent her to the box for major track-cutting. L'exi laid on the speed and scored fifteen. The Bombshell defensive line placed themselves forward in the next jam as Mae Gusta went unopposed. In the following jam, after getting past a tough one-on-one with Shiver Me Kimbers, Venus again took the lead as the Bombshell defense slowed, trapping the majority of the Dollys outside of the pack engagement zone. Continuing the unanswered streak, Mae scored another five; L'exi, four. Over seven minutes, the Bombshells established a 26-0 lead with four straight lead jams. The Dolls called a timeout.
Dagger Doll Scootaloo broke through the pack in the next jam, but Venus - just behind her - threaded through the Dolls cleanly, got the lead, and called it off. L'exi fought against Doll blocker Wonderbroad for over half a lap of juking and weaving, but finally took the next lead. Just as L'exi Cuter re-engaged the pack on the lapping run; however, she hit the braking Doll sweeper Buffy the Vampire Skater with a back block and got sent to the penalty box. Meanwhile, L'exi's jamming opponent Psycho was just breaking through the pack with the aid of Wonderbroad and scored the Dolls' first eight points on the power jam. Sparkle Ninja took to the line unopposed, but the Dolls' defensive work to bring her through backfired as a returning L'exi-cuter flashed out of the box to take the lead while her opponents tried to send Sparkle forward. L'exi scored one. 27-8 Bombshells with seven to go.
Mae Gusta scored the eighth consecutive lead jam and four points despite hits from both Shiver Me Kimbers and Wonderbroad that forced her to re-engage the pack each time. Skullateral Damage and Tara Skatesov held back her opponent while elsewhere in the pack, the referees expelled Misfit Maiden on a gross misconduct violation for shoving Dagger Doll Rollercat. The expulsion may have knocked the Bombshells off their pace; though they earned the next two leads, neither Jocelyn D'Jewels nor L'exi Cuter could score against their opponents. In fact, the Dollys grabbed six points in the chaos. Killamon Jaro returned to the jammer line against Mae Gusta, and Killamon picked up the first lead for the Dollys with Buffy holding off Mae's advance and Shiv and Let Die providing interference for her jammer. Psycho Novia finished out the half as lead for four points while her teammates fell upon L'exi Cuter amidst a depleted Bombshell pack. L'exi went to the box twice in that jam, and finished out the half sitting down.
As time ran out in the first half, the Dolls had pulled within thirteen, 33-20 Bombshells. Despite ten consecutive lead jams, the Bombshells had not yet been able to put up a large lead on their opponents. However, they controlled the clock and held every jammer except one (Psycho Novia) to two points or less.
Psycho Novia wasted no time in taking the lead with L'exi-Cuter in the box, scooting past an illegal block from Mitzi Massacre outside the pack engagement zone. Psycho chalked up seven unanswered points for the Dollys on the short pack. Mae Gusta then beat an attempted escort out of play by Sinaminn for the lead while her Bombshell defenders mobbed Scootaloo; Mae scored a slam. Psycho Novia responded by claiming another lead jam and scoring three before stopping short behind Diamond Rough and calling off the jam.
Seven minutes into the second half, it felt like the Dolls had fallen into a good rhythm, outscoring the Bombshells 22-7 over the last eight jams. The Bombshells still had the lead (38-30), but the game seemed to be falling to the Dagger Dolls. L'exi Cuter found her center on the next jam against Killamon Jaro and broke past the Dolly front line for the lead, visibly yelling, "FINALLY!" and scored four points in a very fast jam. Bombshell Mae Gusta matched her teammate for the next jam, breaking past Doll Buffy the Vampire Skater in the back while opposing jammer Psycho got peeled off the track on a block from Tara Skatesov. L'exi returned for another two as she circumnavigated the outside of the Dolly pack with enough speed to take the lead. In three jams, the Bombshell lead more than doubled. 48-30 with nine to go.
Norah Torious stomped on Bombshell Venus Thightrap's attempt to take the fourth consecutive lead, with Psycho grabbing three points to Venus' two. L'exi took the outside of the track a second time, leaving the Dolls no choice but to attempt to arrest her progress by divebombing her. They missed, and L'exi picked up nine off of a power jam. Wonderbroad and Candi Pain made walls to stop Killamon Jaro and Psycho Novia's opponents in the following two jams, but the two Dolly jammers could not score with their leads. With three minutes left, Venus Thightrap scored one before being taken down by Shiver Me Kimbers, and Psycho Novia scored a final five for her team as the clock ran down. However, track-cutting would send Psycho to the box one final time, and L'exi scored three as Diamond Rough--protecting her jammer from the best Doll sweeper of the game--launched Buffy the Vampire Skater into the air. Final score: 63-38.
Psycho Novia was the sole scorer for the Dagger Dolls in the second half; the Dolls have a month to find more jammers to duel against five double-digit-scoring Rockits. Meanwhile, the Bombshell triad appears to continue to thrive with a mixture of staying away from the pack (in L'exi's case, speeding around it) and using their pack's defensive screens. The Bombshells continue to place a higher regard on sending their player through first, which may help explain their lower winning margins; if all you're looking to do is control the clock and score a little, the opposing team will get chances to take the lead...it simply appears that the Bombshells make sure that doesn't happen.
The importance of the back blocker--that woman who awaits the jammer as they engage the pack--played a heavy role in this bout. Whether it was Buffy the Vampire Skater's stuffing the Bombshell Three (Venus, L'exi, and Mae) in the first half, or the palpable wariness of Dolly scorers for Diamond Rough's strong hits throughout, a strong 'sweeper' position continues to be one of the most powerful players on the Roy track. It is also worth noting that the Bombshells played a sparser lineup this month, yet still kept their streak alive; they are at four consecutive wins.
The Bombshells are now in first place, but have not yet guaranteed a spot in the championship bout; a win by the Rockits AND the Bombshells losing by over 47 to the Garda Belts would send them to the third-place bout in April. Any other scenario sends them forward to play for the Golden Skate.
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (8-13) 38 pts
456 Mae Gusta (4-6) 20 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (3-5) 5 pts
88 Jocelyn D'Jewels (1-1) 0 pts
DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (6-11) 34 pts
FU Scootaloo (0-5) 2 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (2-4) 2 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-5) 0 pts
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Rockits take Gardas 118-35
Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!
The extent to which this matchup was anticipated could not be underestimated. With the Gardas a game ahead of the Rockits at the start of the bout, the Gardas had an opportunity to shut the Rockits out of the season championship for the first time since the women in red rose from the ashes of the first season's Silver Bullets. Couple that with their sixty-point defeat at the hands of the Rockits in the last season championship, and you really have all of the elements for a classic grudge match.
The Gardas sent out Suzie Smashbox as opening jammer, while the Rockits put forward Vuedoo Prodigy. Suzie glanced past the pack for the lead, while Vuedoo went out of her way to get around Garda Belt enforcer Tiki Torture; on the back turn, Vue cut the track passing the final blocker and got sent to the box for the bout's first power jam. Suzie scored five and trapped Vue in the box by calling off the jam. The Gardas played Angelfire for her first official jam of the season following a lengthy recovery from injury, but Vue emerged from the box, got low on her skates, and took the lead. Angelfire flew right behind her, and Vue cut her passing run too close as she passed one Garda and called off the jam...but before the call was acknowledged by the refs, Angelfire passed for four. 9-2 Gardas with seventeen left.
The Gardas continued their normal rotation of Suzie every other jam; Suzie returned against Rockit blocker/jammer double-threat Scarmen Hellectra. Suzie found a narrow line through the inside of a turn for the lead while Scarmen Hellectra pounded past Tiki Torture, each scoring one. Harmony Killerbruise took her first turn as jammer against Garda rookie Cassie Rolle. Cassie passed through most of the pack before encountering trouble at the front. Several of her teammates came forward to assist, giving Harmony a moment to catch the Garda Belt pack looking and scored four. Suzie responded with three points off of a power jam and trapped opponent Abbie Mischief in the penalty box for the following jam. Angelfire charged off the jammer line unopposed and scored two as Rolls Wilder screened out the Rockits by tossing Optimiss Crime into them. After a jam to rest, Abbie slammed Garda Belt Cassie Rolle, who could not progress past Vuedoo Prodigy or the wiry Rockit blocker Killahertz. Abbie's slam brought the Rockits within three, 15-12.
Harmony Killerbruise next took the lead jam against Suzie Smashbox, who got stopped by a rotating pack of Rockit blockers. In the midst of the melee, Suzie got called out for back-blocking and Harmony started accelerating. The Rockits captured Damnzelsly in their midst and stomped on their brakes, leaving Tiki Torture, Rumblebee, and Citizen Pain well ahead of the pack. The Rockits had created a stationary pack which most of the Gardas were far away from - well beyond the twenty-foot engagement zone. Harmony blazed around the track, picking up eighteen points whilst her opponents could not legally touch her. Abbie Mischief grabbed five more in the following jam, while Suzie scored three (though Suzie would return to the penalty box on accumulation of minors). Harmony grabbed the lead and another two points while the Rockits mobbed Garda blocker Tiki Torture. Vuedoo Prodigy got knocked through the inside of Turn 1 and 2 as the Garda front line attempted to send her to the penalty box on a forced track-cut...but Vue kept her head and dropped to the ground, letting the Gardas pass her so that she could reestablish herself from the back of the pack and take the lead...which she did for nine points as the first half ended, 46-19.
The Gardas controlled the opening minutes as the Rockits made some simple errors and could not find their way past the formidable Garda front four. Harmony's triple slam-plus (and the cunning of Coochie Coup and Scarmen Hellectra, who appeared to set up the trap) flipped the game on its head, while two consecutive penalties by Suzie Smashbox allowed the Rockits to re-establish their game. The first half saw Rockits employing an unusual tactic: Contain strong Garda blockers instead of picking off newer players while the Rockits jammer is in the pack. The strategy appeared to work; players like Tiki, Hanna Belle, and Citizen Pain had limited movement during much of the game.
In the second half, neither Vuedoo Prodigy nor Suzie Smashbox could take the lead in the first jam, but Suzie Smashbox re-engaged the pack first. Garda veteran Hanna Belle Lector gave Suzie a sweet armwhip, but she telegraphed the move, allowing Honeydew Felon to intercept Suzie and knock her out of bounds. Suzie scored three points before being sent to the penalty box, and the Rockits attempted a second slowdown, trapping Punish Mint Patty to establish a slow pack. The veteran Patty would have none of that and shouldered her way out to start the pack moving again. Vue nonetheless scored fourteen. Narrowly avoiding a transformative block from Optimiss Crime, Harmony Killerbruise took the unopposed lead and withstood an illegal hit from Rumblebee to take nine unanswered points. Tiki Torture and Trixie Whipsum dueled next, and though Trixie took the lead and four points, Tiki broke past several Rockit blockers eager to drop the hard-hitting Garda Belt and earned three points of her own. Rockits 73, Gardas 25 with twelve remaining.
Harmony returned to the line to jam against Angelfire. Angling around the outside, Harmony took the lead and started to accelerate as Angelfire got sent to the box. Nipping just out of range of Garda Belt Stacy Wrekt, Harmony re-engaged the pack and took another hit from Rumblebee, who received her third major...but did nothing to stop Harmony's advance. Angelfire came back out and accidentally tripped a Rockit as she moved through Turn 4. Angelfire returned to the penalty box, and Harmony completed a triple slam. Vuedoo Prodigy then took the fourth consecutive lead for the Rockits, but could only score three before Rumblebee grabbed Scarmen Hellectra's legs and got sent out for gross misconduct (said Scarmen Hellectra after the bout, "My leg suddenly got heavy, so I looked down and saw a Garda Belt attached to it...") 91-25 Rockits.
Rockits jammer Trixie took the next lead as Suzie Smashbox got called for a back block to some lusty boos from the sellout crowd. Trixie gained five before going herself to the penalty box; Suzie took two. Angelfire took advantage of Trixie's position and slipped through a small hole opened by Garda screens to get four in the next jam. Suzie Smashbox continued the Gardas' minor rally, taking four points as her teammate Cassie Rolle took a hit for the team from Trinity Knox while her captain slipped by. The final three jams continued the steady pace of the Rockit jammers; both Scarmen Hellectra and Harmony scored ten each while blockers Konceal N Kari, Icepack, and Pain Gretzky rotated through the front to provide enough interference to deny Angelfire passage. Angelfire went to the box twice in those two jams, but scored eight in the last jam. At the end of regulation, the Rockits scored a needed win against the Garda Belts. With the score 118-35, the Rockits are now in second place on the basis of point differential.
The Gardas had significant penalty issues in the half; Garda jammers spent almost six minutes in the penalty box, allowing their opponents ample opportunity to build up the lead. What's more, every single Rockit jammer scored in the double digits in this bout. The Rockits also allowed only one jammer - Angelfire - to score more than five points in a single jam. They seemed to have the Garda back blockers rolled up in red cotton for part of the game, giving their scorers the opportunity to keep their speed unchecked as they hit the front of the pack
The Rockits will play the Dagger Dolls on March 6th, while the Gardas must take on the unbeaten Atomic Bombshells.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (6-11) 24 pts
c² Angelfire (3-8) 16 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 3 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (0-2) 0 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (0-1) 0 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (6-7) 58 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-5) 28 pts
6 Trixxie Whipsum (2-4) 11 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-3) 11 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (1-4) 10 pts
The extent to which this matchup was anticipated could not be underestimated. With the Gardas a game ahead of the Rockits at the start of the bout, the Gardas had an opportunity to shut the Rockits out of the season championship for the first time since the women in red rose from the ashes of the first season's Silver Bullets. Couple that with their sixty-point defeat at the hands of the Rockits in the last season championship, and you really have all of the elements for a classic grudge match.
The Gardas sent out Suzie Smashbox as opening jammer, while the Rockits put forward Vuedoo Prodigy. Suzie glanced past the pack for the lead, while Vuedoo went out of her way to get around Garda Belt enforcer Tiki Torture; on the back turn, Vue cut the track passing the final blocker and got sent to the box for the bout's first power jam. Suzie scored five and trapped Vue in the box by calling off the jam. The Gardas played Angelfire for her first official jam of the season following a lengthy recovery from injury, but Vue emerged from the box, got low on her skates, and took the lead. Angelfire flew right behind her, and Vue cut her passing run too close as she passed one Garda and called off the jam...but before the call was acknowledged by the refs, Angelfire passed for four. 9-2 Gardas with seventeen left.
The Gardas continued their normal rotation of Suzie every other jam; Suzie returned against Rockit blocker/jammer double-threat Scarmen Hellectra. Suzie found a narrow line through the inside of a turn for the lead while Scarmen Hellectra pounded past Tiki Torture, each scoring one. Harmony Killerbruise took her first turn as jammer against Garda rookie Cassie Rolle. Cassie passed through most of the pack before encountering trouble at the front. Several of her teammates came forward to assist, giving Harmony a moment to catch the Garda Belt pack looking and scored four. Suzie responded with three points off of a power jam and trapped opponent Abbie Mischief in the penalty box for the following jam. Angelfire charged off the jammer line unopposed and scored two as Rolls Wilder screened out the Rockits by tossing Optimiss Crime into them. After a jam to rest, Abbie slammed Garda Belt Cassie Rolle, who could not progress past Vuedoo Prodigy or the wiry Rockit blocker Killahertz. Abbie's slam brought the Rockits within three, 15-12.
Harmony Killerbruise next took the lead jam against Suzie Smashbox, who got stopped by a rotating pack of Rockit blockers. In the midst of the melee, Suzie got called out for back-blocking and Harmony started accelerating. The Rockits captured Damnzelsly in their midst and stomped on their brakes, leaving Tiki Torture, Rumblebee, and Citizen Pain well ahead of the pack. The Rockits had created a stationary pack which most of the Gardas were far away from - well beyond the twenty-foot engagement zone. Harmony blazed around the track, picking up eighteen points whilst her opponents could not legally touch her. Abbie Mischief grabbed five more in the following jam, while Suzie scored three (though Suzie would return to the penalty box on accumulation of minors). Harmony grabbed the lead and another two points while the Rockits mobbed Garda blocker Tiki Torture. Vuedoo Prodigy got knocked through the inside of Turn 1 and 2 as the Garda front line attempted to send her to the penalty box on a forced track-cut...but Vue kept her head and dropped to the ground, letting the Gardas pass her so that she could reestablish herself from the back of the pack and take the lead...which she did for nine points as the first half ended, 46-19.
The Gardas controlled the opening minutes as the Rockits made some simple errors and could not find their way past the formidable Garda front four. Harmony's triple slam-plus (and the cunning of Coochie Coup and Scarmen Hellectra, who appeared to set up the trap) flipped the game on its head, while two consecutive penalties by Suzie Smashbox allowed the Rockits to re-establish their game. The first half saw Rockits employing an unusual tactic: Contain strong Garda blockers instead of picking off newer players while the Rockits jammer is in the pack. The strategy appeared to work; players like Tiki, Hanna Belle, and Citizen Pain had limited movement during much of the game.
In the second half, neither Vuedoo Prodigy nor Suzie Smashbox could take the lead in the first jam, but Suzie Smashbox re-engaged the pack first. Garda veteran Hanna Belle Lector gave Suzie a sweet armwhip, but she telegraphed the move, allowing Honeydew Felon to intercept Suzie and knock her out of bounds. Suzie scored three points before being sent to the penalty box, and the Rockits attempted a second slowdown, trapping Punish Mint Patty to establish a slow pack. The veteran Patty would have none of that and shouldered her way out to start the pack moving again. Vue nonetheless scored fourteen. Narrowly avoiding a transformative block from Optimiss Crime, Harmony Killerbruise took the unopposed lead and withstood an illegal hit from Rumblebee to take nine unanswered points. Tiki Torture and Trixie Whipsum dueled next, and though Trixie took the lead and four points, Tiki broke past several Rockit blockers eager to drop the hard-hitting Garda Belt and earned three points of her own. Rockits 73, Gardas 25 with twelve remaining.
Harmony returned to the line to jam against Angelfire. Angling around the outside, Harmony took the lead and started to accelerate as Angelfire got sent to the box. Nipping just out of range of Garda Belt Stacy Wrekt, Harmony re-engaged the pack and took another hit from Rumblebee, who received her third major...but did nothing to stop Harmony's advance. Angelfire came back out and accidentally tripped a Rockit as she moved through Turn 4. Angelfire returned to the penalty box, and Harmony completed a triple slam. Vuedoo Prodigy then took the fourth consecutive lead for the Rockits, but could only score three before Rumblebee grabbed Scarmen Hellectra's legs and got sent out for gross misconduct (said Scarmen Hellectra after the bout, "My leg suddenly got heavy, so I looked down and saw a Garda Belt attached to it...") 91-25 Rockits.
Rockits jammer Trixie took the next lead as Suzie Smashbox got called for a back block to some lusty boos from the sellout crowd. Trixie gained five before going herself to the penalty box; Suzie took two. Angelfire took advantage of Trixie's position and slipped through a small hole opened by Garda screens to get four in the next jam. Suzie Smashbox continued the Gardas' minor rally, taking four points as her teammate Cassie Rolle took a hit for the team from Trinity Knox while her captain slipped by. The final three jams continued the steady pace of the Rockit jammers; both Scarmen Hellectra and Harmony scored ten each while blockers Konceal N Kari, Icepack, and Pain Gretzky rotated through the front to provide enough interference to deny Angelfire passage. Angelfire went to the box twice in those two jams, but scored eight in the last jam. At the end of regulation, the Rockits scored a needed win against the Garda Belts. With the score 118-35, the Rockits are now in second place on the basis of point differential.
The Gardas had significant penalty issues in the half; Garda jammers spent almost six minutes in the penalty box, allowing their opponents ample opportunity to build up the lead. What's more, every single Rockit jammer scored in the double digits in this bout. The Rockits also allowed only one jammer - Angelfire - to score more than five points in a single jam. They seemed to have the Garda back blockers rolled up in red cotton for part of the game, giving their scorers the opportunity to keep their speed unchecked as they hit the front of the pack
The Rockits will play the Dagger Dolls on March 6th, while the Gardas must take on the unbeaten Atomic Bombshells.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (6-11) 24 pts
c² Angelfire (3-8) 16 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 3 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (0-2) 0 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (0-1) 0 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (6-7) 58 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-5) 28 pts
6 Trixxie Whipsum (2-4) 11 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-3) 11 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (1-4) 10 pts
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Season Six, Bout Five recaplet (experimental)
Attention regular readers (not for publication):
- this is not the full recap. The DNN has asked for shorter recaplets for publication in a very defined style in the weekly 'weekend in review'. We're giving it a shot for the rest of the season and we'll see if we like it.
- I look forward to feedback on this. Not used to being so terse and making some snap judgements on a forty-minute match before I've heard the tape. Twenty-four hour turnaround is a bit weird.
Rockits Take Out Garda Belts 118-43
This rematch of last year's season championship (Rockits won 92-31) began with the Gardas holding a small lead from fast-moving jammers Suzie Smashbox and Angelfire. The Garda defensive machine - led by lone-wolf Tiki Torture and co-captain Citizen Pain - held the Rockits to just 12 points in the first twelve minutes (15-12 Gardas).
That changed when Suzie Smashbox went to the box, giving Rockit Harmony Killerbruise a power jam opportunity. Noting the advanced position of the Garda pack, the Rockits trapped a Garda and halted. Harmony started sprinting and the Gardas in front found themselves well ahead of the halted pack, unable to engage Harmony. Harmony sped for eighteen and the lead change (30-18 Rockits). Suzie returned to the box the following jam, and the Rockits took over. By the end of the half, Rockits had increased their lead, 46-19.
The Rockits continued to take every advantage given to them by the Garda Belts in the remainder. Garda jammers sat in the box seven minutes of twenty during the second half, and in only three jams in the second half did the Garda girls in green have a pivot in for the full jam. Garda veteran Rumblebee was expelled after four major fouls in the first ten minutes. The Rockits effectively doubled their score during those ten minutes, 91-25 Rockits...including another triple slam from lead point-scorer Harmony Killerbruise (58 points, 5 for 7).
As the clock ran down, Suzie Smashbox and Angelfire grabbed the Gardas' only three leads of the half, but even those jams could not consistently break past a superb Rockit line. Final score: 118-43 Rockits. The Rockits are now in second place in the league with one game to go; Garda Belts fall to third.
Atomic Bombshells Befuddle Dagger Dolls 63-38
The Atomic Bombshells began the first half with ten straight lead jams and kept the Dagger Dolls scoreless until the 8th minute when Dolly jammer Psycho Novia took advantage of a power jam off of L'exi-Cuter and scored eight. 26-8 Bombshells with ten to go.
Following that jam, the Doll defensive front--led by Shiver Me Kimbers and Wonderbroad--held the Bombshells to only eight more points until the end of the first half's final whistle while their scorers led the last two jams and scored twelve more. The refs also took Bombshell co-captain Misfit Maiden out of the game on a gross misconduct violation to the vehement boos of the fans. Bombshells ahead at the half, 33-20 Bombshells.
The second half was far more even in terms of lead jams (in fact, the Dolls went slightly ahead with leads), but the Dolly jammers could not break through the pack quickly enough to keep the opposing jammer from nipping at their heels. Psycho Novia led an early rally, scoring ten over the first three jams, but the Dolls did not score again until the eleventh minute of the twenty-minute half as their jammers slammed into a constantly-recycling wall. At that point, the Bombshells had increased their lead to 48-30. Dolly jammers appeared to balk at the very thought of trying to break past Bombshell blockers Diamond Rough and Tara Skatesov, while Bombshell jammers patiently added to their score by fours and fives. The game finally cracked open when L'exi scored nine on a power jam late in the second half (she led the game with 36 points overall while Psycho scored 30), and the Dolls simply could not recover. 63-38 Atomic Bombshells with the win and an near-lock on a ticket to the season championship in April.
For more analysis, visit http://www.mnrollergirls.com in the upcoming week for the full recap.
- this is not the full recap. The DNN has asked for shorter recaplets for publication in a very defined style in the weekly 'weekend in review'. We're giving it a shot for the rest of the season and we'll see if we like it.
- I look forward to feedback on this. Not used to being so terse and making some snap judgements on a forty-minute match before I've heard the tape. Twenty-four hour turnaround is a bit weird.
Rockits Take Out Garda Belts 118-43
This rematch of last year's season championship (Rockits won 92-31) began with the Gardas holding a small lead from fast-moving jammers Suzie Smashbox and Angelfire. The Garda defensive machine - led by lone-wolf Tiki Torture and co-captain Citizen Pain - held the Rockits to just 12 points in the first twelve minutes (15-12 Gardas).
That changed when Suzie Smashbox went to the box, giving Rockit Harmony Killerbruise a power jam opportunity. Noting the advanced position of the Garda pack, the Rockits trapped a Garda and halted. Harmony started sprinting and the Gardas in front found themselves well ahead of the halted pack, unable to engage Harmony. Harmony sped for eighteen and the lead change (30-18 Rockits). Suzie returned to the box the following jam, and the Rockits took over. By the end of the half, Rockits had increased their lead, 46-19.
The Rockits continued to take every advantage given to them by the Garda Belts in the remainder. Garda jammers sat in the box seven minutes of twenty during the second half, and in only three jams in the second half did the Garda girls in green have a pivot in for the full jam. Garda veteran Rumblebee was expelled after four major fouls in the first ten minutes. The Rockits effectively doubled their score during those ten minutes, 91-25 Rockits...including another triple slam from lead point-scorer Harmony Killerbruise (58 points, 5 for 7).
As the clock ran down, Suzie Smashbox and Angelfire grabbed the Gardas' only three leads of the half, but even those jams could not consistently break past a superb Rockit line. Final score: 118-43 Rockits. The Rockits are now in second place in the league with one game to go; Garda Belts fall to third.
Atomic Bombshells Befuddle Dagger Dolls 63-38
The Atomic Bombshells began the first half with ten straight lead jams and kept the Dagger Dolls scoreless until the 8th minute when Dolly jammer Psycho Novia took advantage of a power jam off of L'exi-Cuter and scored eight. 26-8 Bombshells with ten to go.
Following that jam, the Doll defensive front--led by Shiver Me Kimbers and Wonderbroad--held the Bombshells to only eight more points until the end of the first half's final whistle while their scorers led the last two jams and scored twelve more. The refs also took Bombshell co-captain Misfit Maiden out of the game on a gross misconduct violation to the vehement boos of the fans. Bombshells ahead at the half, 33-20 Bombshells.
The second half was far more even in terms of lead jams (in fact, the Dolls went slightly ahead with leads), but the Dolly jammers could not break through the pack quickly enough to keep the opposing jammer from nipping at their heels. Psycho Novia led an early rally, scoring ten over the first three jams, but the Dolls did not score again until the eleventh minute of the twenty-minute half as their jammers slammed into a constantly-recycling wall. At that point, the Bombshells had increased their lead to 48-30. Dolly jammers appeared to balk at the very thought of trying to break past Bombshell blockers Diamond Rough and Tara Skatesov, while Bombshell jammers patiently added to their score by fours and fives. The game finally cracked open when L'exi scored nine on a power jam late in the second half (she led the game with 36 points overall while Psycho scored 30), and the Dolls simply could not recover. 63-38 Atomic Bombshells with the win and an near-lock on a ticket to the season championship in April.
For more analysis, visit http://www.mnrollergirls.com in the upcoming week for the full recap.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Season 6, Bout 2 preview
On Saturday, diehard Minnesota RollerGirls fans and newcomers alike will rush the doors of the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium to watch the next step in the evolution of derby in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
Our first home bout rocked the derby world as the Rockits - reigning two-time champions - were laid low by the Atomic Bombshells. The Rockits must now win Saturday's bout - a repeat match of last year's season championship against the Garda Belts - to control their destiny. The Dagger Dolls are in a similar fix; their nine-point loss to the Gardas in January means that they must win against a transformed Bombshell team to have a strong chance to acquire the Golden Skate. We'll talk more on the win-loss situation in a moment, but let's look at Saturday's games.
The Atomic Bombshells (1-0) v the Dagger Dolls (0-1)
Fresh from their victorious confrontation against the Rockits, it is the Atomic Bombshells who have the advantage. As has been stated before, many of our Bombshells benefited greatly from summer conditioning playing with the All-Stars, and now the nimble orange stars must take on some of the fastest jammers and hardest hitters on eight wheels...the Dagger Dolls. The Dolls had a similar upswell of awesome from the summer season, but narrowly fell to the Gardas. Both January games were won or lost by less than ten points, a testament to how close the four teams are to one another in skill.
If you're new to the game or couldn't make it to the first home bout, I recommend you watch for the following:
- Both teams have jammers who can consistently break past the pack and hold control of the clock. In the last bout, Bombshell L'exi-Cuter went 10 for 10 on lead jams, Venus Thightrap went 3 for 4, Mae Gusta 3 for 5, and the Dagger Dolls' Psycho Novia went 6 for 7.
- Amidst the heavy point scoring of the Bombshells (a combined 73 points from the three just mentioned), it's easy to miss the efforts of Psycho. She doesn't often take chances, and her attention to the opposing jammer is without peer. If she's gotten the lead, she will shut down the jam the moment that her opponent is in contention to score, even if she's only gotten a couple of points. That sort of tight control assisted in keeping the Gardas to a score of fifty-nine. The Bombshells struggled a bit more with this in the last game, occasionally allowing the canny Rockits to sneak from behind and burst through, evening or besting the lead jammer's point differential.
- Sinaminn was greatly missed in the first bout; now freshly back from derby and vacation abroad, we'll see even more ferocity from the Dagger Doll front.
- If you're a stats wonk, it's hard not to notice the efforts of the Bombshells' second-year veteran jammer, L'exi-Cuter. In her ten lead jams, against the best that the Rockits' red walls had to offer, she scored slightly more than half of the Bombshells' points (43 of 78). In a forty-minute match, L'exi scored a rare offensive double-double; double-digit score and double-digit lead jams. L'exi doesn't just find space on the track...she establishes it and defends it as she speeds through the pack.
- The Dagger Doll defense didn't just do ok in the January bout; they were able to hold every jammer outside of Suzie Smashbox to five points or less. When you're dealing with vets like Rumblebee and Anita Spankston, that's pretty damn impressive. Watch for Sinaminn and Candi Pain to escort players to the outside of turns every chance they get, and Shiver Me Kimbers and Wonderbroad to send Bombshells tumbling through the inside to draw cutting penalties.
- Sparkle Ninja might argue this, but she had a remarkable game against the Garda Belts. While only jamming 3 for 7, she scored 28 of the Dolls' 50 points. She might have scored more; Sparkle got rocked by a bad decision to re-enter the pack after a penalty as a jammer before the pack had passed, sending her right back to the box in a key moment of the second half. Sparkle Ninja is a fast, ruthless threat as a jammer and a blocker; Bombshell fans, don't expect her to give your team the same opportunity.
- We at last get to see the rookie Bombshell Madame de Stompadour skate. Stompadour, last seen by the public during the Brawl of America winning a Queen of the Rink crown, has finally worked through an early-season injury. Best to her in her season debut, as well as to her teammate BOOMbay Safire, now out for the rest of the season after a freak injury in practice. BOOM...get well, dammit.
- Umm. Don't know how else to put this. Dagger Dude. Keytars rule.
- No jammer works alone, and it was clear that Bombshells were repeating to themselves, "I will take care of my jammer..." before the January bout for weeks. No team seems more concentrated on watching their jammers' back than the Bombshells. Whether Flora's front blocking, Skullateral Damage's presence of mind, or Diamond Rough's holding entire blocking lines inside, the Bombshells are shifting away from a strategy of sticking the opposing jammer and towards getting that lead jam and control of the clock.
The Garda Belts (1-0) v the Rockits (0-1)
The fifth season championship grudge match is days away, and the fans of the women in green must be counting the hours. The Gardas were soundly defeated by a dominant Rockit defense (92-31 in the championship), but it is a new year and both teams have evolved into something very unlike last year's rosters.
Let's get the discussion of Suzie Smashbox out of the way. Suzie put up fifty of the fifty-nine points that won the game against the Dagger Dolls. She puts on the star every other jam. No team in the league depends on a single jammer more than the Gardas. The Rockits have found ways in the past to shut that lightning-fast woman down, but it all comes down to keeping her from hitting that mind-searing top gear of hers. What's worse for those attempting to contain that speed, it appears that her blockers are investing a lot of time to get her through the denser packs of this season...not to repeatedly beat upon the baldly obvious, but any player wanting to hold back Suzie is going to have Tiki harassing her every single foot of the track.
And this bout, it looks like the jammer cavalry is arriving in force. MNRG cofounder (and damn fine jammer) Rolls Wilder will be lacing up against the Rockits, Angelfire is back from an injury sustained while playing a Mid-Iowan league, and will almost certainly be putting her speed to work. With Rumblebee, Cassie Rolle, and Anita Spankston in play as well, we may see a lot of sharing of that star...and that might be smart; the Rockit defense that held Suzie to under thirty points in the 2009 championship is largely intact.
Harmony Killerbruise? #2 overall scorer in the 2009 season? Still wearing Rockit red. Harmony, Abbie Mischief, and Scarmen Hellectra all scored double-digits in their losing bout against the Bombshells. Although Scarmen plays blocker for the All-Stars, we may see more of this woman at the jammer line come Saturday...although Scar's speed might be more useful in blocking Suzie and Rumblebee through the pack. There is also a sizable risk of Harmony pulling one-shot jamming tactics like her much-lauded negative pass on the Sioux Falls Rollerdollz in December. If Suzie is the speed queen of the MNRG, Harmony leads the league in strategic jamming. In a one-on-one situation - outside of the 20 foot engagement zone of the pack - Killerbruise is to be feared.
If I haven't gotten this across well enough, I think we're going to see a much more even match than last year. The Garda Belts have a remarkably deep blocking staff; Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and co-captain Citizen Pain all have the skill and the endurance to play roller derby at the speed of the Rockits, and they will be joined in kind by Garda ne'er-do-wells Angelfire (the Gardas would be foolish to keep her as a pure jammer if she's got her stamina back) and Optimiss Crime. The Rockits are full of surprises, but January saw them still working out their sixth-season style. Stay tuned, folks. This one's going to be fun.
Now...to close, let's look at the win-loss situation. So...as it sits, if both the Bombshells and the Gardas win their respective game on Saturday, it will be Orange versus Green for the Golden Skate. (A Rockit fan out there just fainted, and we apologize to her family.) If either the Rockits or the Dagger Dolls lose again, that team will be out of the running to play for the championship.
If both win? Folks, if the Rockits and the Dollys win, the March bout may be the most exciting home game bout we've ever had...the winners of each game in March (Rockit/Dolls and ABS/Gardas) would play for the Golden Skate. Any of the four teams could move forward.
Oh, and one last thing. It is possible for a team to win two out of three games and still not advance if three teams do it. If teams end with the same win/loss record, the decision of who goes forward to the season championship is made on overall point-differential throughout the season. Got that? Good. Because it took me two hours and a protractor to get it all straight.
We will see you Saturday, folks. Tickets are selling fast...the fastest I've seen for ages. This season is shaping up to be the best yet. Don't miss a single hit.
Writing from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer
Let's get the discussion of Suzie Smashbox out of the way. Suzie put up fifty of the fifty-nine points that won the game against the Dagger Dolls. She puts on the star every other jam. No team in the league depends on a single jammer more than the Gardas. The Rockits have found ways in the past to shut that lightning-fast woman down, but it all comes down to keeping her from hitting that mind-searing top gear of hers. What's worse for those attempting to contain that speed, it appears that her blockers are investing a lot of time to get her through the denser packs of this season...not to repeatedly beat upon the baldly obvious, but any player wanting to hold back Suzie is going to have Tiki harassing her every single foot of the track.
And this bout, it looks like the jammer cavalry is arriving in force. MNRG cofounder (and damn fine jammer) Rolls Wilder will be lacing up against the Rockits, Angelfire is back from an injury sustained while playing a Mid-Iowan league, and will almost certainly be putting her speed to work. With Rumblebee, Cassie Rolle, and Anita Spankston in play as well, we may see a lot of sharing of that star...and that might be smart; the Rockit defense that held Suzie to under thirty points in the 2009 championship is largely intact.
Harmony Killerbruise? #2 overall scorer in the 2009 season? Still wearing Rockit red. Harmony, Abbie Mischief, and Scarmen Hellectra all scored double-digits in their losing bout against the Bombshells. Although Scarmen plays blocker for the All-Stars, we may see more of this woman at the jammer line come Saturday...although Scar's speed might be more useful in blocking Suzie and Rumblebee through the pack. There is also a sizable risk of Harmony pulling one-shot jamming tactics like her much-lauded negative pass on the Sioux Falls Rollerdollz in December. If Suzie is the speed queen of the MNRG, Harmony leads the league in strategic jamming. In a one-on-one situation - outside of the 20 foot engagement zone of the pack - Killerbruise is to be feared.
If I haven't gotten this across well enough, I think we're going to see a much more even match than last year. The Garda Belts have a remarkably deep blocking staff; Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and co-captain Citizen Pain all have the skill and the endurance to play roller derby at the speed of the Rockits, and they will be joined in kind by Garda ne'er-do-wells Angelfire (the Gardas would be foolish to keep her as a pure jammer if she's got her stamina back) and Optimiss Crime. The Rockits are full of surprises, but January saw them still working out their sixth-season style. Stay tuned, folks. This one's going to be fun.
Now...to close, let's look at the win-loss situation. So...as it sits, if both the Bombshells and the Gardas win their respective game on Saturday, it will be Orange versus Green for the Golden Skate. (A Rockit fan out there just fainted, and we apologize to her family.) If either the Rockits or the Dagger Dolls lose again, that team will be out of the running to play for the championship.
If both win? Folks, if the Rockits and the Dollys win, the March bout may be the most exciting home game bout we've ever had...the winners of each game in March (Rockit/Dolls and ABS/Gardas) would play for the Golden Skate. Any of the four teams could move forward.
Oh, and one last thing. It is possible for a team to win two out of three games and still not advance if three teams do it. If teams end with the same win/loss record, the decision of who goes forward to the season championship is made on overall point-differential throughout the season. Got that? Good. Because it took me two hours and a protractor to get it all straight.
We will see you Saturday, folks. Tickets are selling fast...the fastest I've seen for ages. This season is shaping up to be the best yet. Don't miss a single hit.
Writing from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Black Beats Blue in Twin City Terror Opener
In its opening hometeam bout, the TCTs fielded two teams - Black and Blue. The final names are being voted on by the teams' fans and will be announced in the concluding bout on March 27th. The first twenty-five minute half began with Black's Wet Spot scoring an opening salvo for four against Blue's Johnny Pocket Rocket. The score differential grew to seven until MC Thresher for Blue grabbed nine and the lead for Blue after ten minutes, using JPR's front blocking to shoot past the Black pack, 17-15 Blue. Black's Timchilla took the lead back on the next jam, scoring a double-slam-plus for fourteen (29-17 Black with twelve to go). The Black hung onto that lead throughout the remainder of the half. Their blockers showed just a little more pack presence, watching for the Blue jammers on the turns, and some particularly fine blocking from Deathrow Tull and Bustin Morenose seemed to make the difference. 40-31 at the half.
After a halftime bout played by supporters from the North Stars and the MNRG, the boys in Black and Blue burst back on the track. Black's jammers - led by Dirty Larry and Bruce Knuckle - took six of the first nine jams of the half taking the score to 74-42 Black with ten minutes remaining. Blue made several adjustments to their jammer bench - relying on Johnny and the six-foot-six manbeast Killsbury Doughboy - and controlled the clock for the last minutes. However, each lead jam could only score five or less points against a triumphant Black pack. As time expired, Black won the Terrors' first home match, 83-60.
The Terrors' next match will be on February 27th at Cheap Skate. See you there!
Top jammers:
Black:
Bruce Knuckle 36 pts (6-10)
Eagon Strangler 13 pts (3-6)
Timchilla 19 pts (2-7)
Bustin Morenose 0 pts (0-1)
Wet Spot 6 pts (2-4)
Dirty Larry 13 pts (4-6)
Deathrow Tull 0 pts (1-1)
Blue:
Johnny Pocket Rocket 12 pts (5-11)
Blunt Damage 21 pts (4-6)
MC Thresher 16 pts (3-7)
Killsbury Doughboy 4 pts (2-2)
Wernher Van Bombed 7 pts (1-2)
Whiplash 0 pts (1-3)
Husker Stu 0 pts (0-2)
After a halftime bout played by supporters from the North Stars and the MNRG, the boys in Black and Blue burst back on the track. Black's jammers - led by Dirty Larry and Bruce Knuckle - took six of the first nine jams of the half taking the score to 74-42 Black with ten minutes remaining. Blue made several adjustments to their jammer bench - relying on Johnny and the six-foot-six manbeast Killsbury Doughboy - and controlled the clock for the last minutes. However, each lead jam could only score five or less points against a triumphant Black pack. As time expired, Black won the Terrors' first home match, 83-60.
The Terrors' next match will be on February 27th at Cheap Skate. See you there!
Top jammers:
Black:
Bruce Knuckle 36 pts (6-10)
Eagon Strangler 13 pts (3-6)
Timchilla 19 pts (2-7)
Bustin Morenose 0 pts (0-1)
Wet Spot 6 pts (2-4)
Dirty Larry 13 pts (4-6)
Deathrow Tull 0 pts (1-1)
Blue:
Johnny Pocket Rocket 12 pts (5-11)
Blunt Damage 21 pts (4-6)
MC Thresher 16 pts (3-7)
Killsbury Doughboy 4 pts (2-2)
Wernher Van Bombed 7 pts (1-2)
Whiplash 0 pts (1-3)
Husker Stu 0 pts (0-2)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Garda Belts beat back Dolly assault, 59-50
Last year's bottom-ranked Dagger Dolls took on the Garda Belts, (2009 runners-up), for this first bout of the new home season. There was expectation that this would be a high-scoring game as a bevy of Dolly speedsters took on Suzie Smashbox. It really was anything but that. Although the teams had less than five practices before this bout as the Dolls and as the Gardas, the close scores and the heavy reliance on delaying the jammer instead of knocking her out denoted a bout fought between two strong packs instead of a battle of star-wearing skaters.
After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's momentum for just a moment...then fled through that pack. Suzie broke through with a minor penalty keeping her from the all-important call of 'lead jammer' and began her lapping run even as Psycho first passed Tiki Torture. The Garda blocker Tiki paced the young Doll through the pack and recycled herself up front as part of a wall with Citizen Pain to engage Psycho again. Psycho finally jinked past Citi and Tiki, took the lead, and called off the jam, but Suzie scored a grand slam. Good start for the women in green, and fellow Garda Belt Rumblebee took the next lead and scored one before rookie AliSin Chains boxed her up. 6-0 Gardas.
After a quick three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, Psycho Novia found a clear line and screamed through to cheers in the stands for five in the next jam as Gogo Galore contained Anita Spankston. Gogo gave her teammate the interference through the pack that she needed to take the lead. Gardas ahead after five minutes, 9-5.
Suzie repeated her momentum-squeezing trick on Doll rookie Patently Offensive; again, Suzie did not take the lead but depended on her speed to carry her through to the scoring pass. It almost didn't work; Patently got the lead, but only some miscommunication regarding the jam by the refs gained the Gardas a point. Psycho Novia scored her third lead jam in a row, just as jammer Rumblebee fell prey to a back-blocking trap set by Candi Pain. Novia could not advance through to the scoring pass, so called off the jam to pass the power jam to a fresh player. Dolly jammer Sparkle Ninja could not break through the Garda pack as Rumblebee emerged from her penalty, calling the jam as soon as she secured the lead to bring Suzie back to the jammer line.
Hoping to score more for the Gardas, Suzie was instead sent to the box while Scootaloo took another five to tie the game, 10-10 with 8 to go. Suzie was joined by Stacy Wrekt, leaving the Garda Belt defense a bit bare. Unfortunately for Psycho, the core Garda blockers of this match delayed the Doll for twenty seconds...almost enough for Suzie to take the lead as came out of the box. Psycho bust past and called off the jam with Suzie breathing down her neck.
Suzie then poodled herself...
poodle: v. the act of sending a jammer to the track as a blocker and telling her to standing in front of the pivot line, deliberately taking a false-start minor penalty. Performed by jammers to acquire a fourth minor penalty and a visit to the penalty box to clear out their minors before they go to the jammer line. Similar to: lancing a boil.
Suzie then poodled herself as Buffy the Vampire Skater and Rumblebee went to the jammer line. Buffy took the lead for four and called the jam with Suzie still in the box, the Gardas sent up rookie Cassie Rolle against Psycho Novia. Cassie skated like a natural, using Tiki and Citizen Pain's interference-running to score three points. 14-13 Dolls. Sparkle Ninja fairly exploded from the line and took lead while Rumblebee was sent to the penalty box...but it took 'bee a full fifteen seconds to realize what was happening and enter the box, giving Ninja the chance to reengage the pack even before Rumblebee sat down (a penalty does not start until the player is seated). Sparkle took advantage of this for eleven. With 'Bee still in the box, Doll rookie Killaman Jaro grabbed the lead and three more points as time expired for the half, Dolls ahead 28-13.
Three power jams kept the Gardas from scoring for a quarter of the first half, and the Dolls bled every moment of those opportunities to score points. For the Gardas, this was surely disappointing; they were being outled 9-4 by the Dolls, Suzie had only scored five points in the entire half...yet they were only behind by fifteen.
The fortunes of the Garda Belts changed immediately as they returned from halftime. Suzie did not struggle a whit as she bypassed the Dolls and gained speed for the scoring pass, taking a double slam while her opponent banged again and again into a rough Garda line. Sparkle Ninja responded with eight as her Dolly pack handled Anita hard enough to force a visit to the penalty box...but Sparkle Ninja popped Anita out of the box with a penalty of her own - as only one jammer can sit in the box at a time, Anita returned to the track for the end of the jam.
Suzie took advantage of the Garda power jam as Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture shoved open gaps in the Dolly wall. In her zeal to re-enter at the conclusion of her penalty, Sparkle Ninja re-entered the track into the thick of the pack...an automatic major penalty. With Ninja in for another minute, Suzie returned immediately to the jammer line and scored ten despite bouncing off the rock-strong Doll rookie Killaman Jaro. Tiki - so dominant in this match as a troubleshooter - shoved Jaro aside and let Suzie through. Sparkle returned to the track but did not score. Anita added to the lead with a grand slam on the Dolls, and the Gardas retook the lead, 49-36. Her opponent - Patently Offensive - was sent to the penalty box.
This would be the third penalty in four jams for the Dolls, tearing apart any ability the Dolls had to hold back the Gardas; a derby team is always at a strong disadvantage when their jammer is in the box. The Gardas charged ahead 24-0 amidst those four jams. Patently Offensive tore from the box in the following jam against Suzie Smashbox, holding the all-star Garda to one point while scoring one herself. With 7:30 to go, the Dolls had fallen behind by thirteen.
Suzie poodled again while Sparkle Ninja and Anita Spankston flew from the jammer line. With the help of Shiver Me Kimbers, Ninja blasted past adversity and brought her team back to within four...but the jam had gone long enough that Suzie had completed her trip to the penalty box. With a clean slate for minors, Suzie jammed against Scootaloo. Scootaloo, held up by Tiki Torture and Citizen Pain, could not crack the pack while Suzie scored nine unanswered points. With time for two more jams, Psycho Novia returned fire on the Gardas with four unaswered points to give the Dolls a shot at the win. However, the final Dolly jammer - Buffy the Vampire Skater - could not bypass the phenomenal Tiki Torture in time to beat Suzie for the lead. As time expired, Suzie called off the jam and gave the Garda Belts their first win, 59-50.
The Gardas came back to score 46 points in the second half to the Dolls' 22...just enough to make the difference. Neither team had a strong advantage on the other, and both teams fell prey to power jams throughout the match. However, while the Garda pack kept a lid on the Dagger Doll jammers during those minutes of unopposed jamming, the Doll pack was unable to stop Suzie Smashbox's power jams...particularly when she had blocker assistance from Citizen Pain, Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and Punish Mint Patty. Suzie appears to rely on her teammates for much more than a belt whip these days, and it seems that the Garda defense is going to continue to be very difficult to defeat. Rockits, Bombshells...take note.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox 7-11, 50 pts
18 Anita Spankston 1-3, 5 pts
350 Cassie Rolle 0-1, 3 pts
4x4 Rumblebee 2-8, 1 pt
DAGGER DOLLS
1111 Sparkle Ninja 3-7, 28 pts
109 Psycho Novia 6-7, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo 1-3, 5 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater 1-2, 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro 0-1, 3 pts
281 Patently Offensive 1-3, 1 pt
After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's momentum for just a moment...then fled through that pack. Suzie broke through with a minor penalty keeping her from the all-important call of 'lead jammer' and began her lapping run even as Psycho first passed Tiki Torture. The Garda blocker Tiki paced the young Doll through the pack and recycled herself up front as part of a wall with Citizen Pain to engage Psycho again. Psycho finally jinked past Citi and Tiki, took the lead, and called off the jam, but Suzie scored a grand slam. Good start for the women in green, and fellow Garda Belt Rumblebee took the next lead and scored one before rookie AliSin Chains boxed her up. 6-0 Gardas.
After a quick three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, Psycho Novia found a clear line and screamed through to cheers in the stands for five in the next jam as Gogo Galore contained Anita Spankston. Gogo gave her teammate the interference through the pack that she needed to take the lead. Gardas ahead after five minutes, 9-5.
Suzie repeated her momentum-squeezing trick on Doll rookie Patently Offensive; again, Suzie did not take the lead but depended on her speed to carry her through to the scoring pass. It almost didn't work; Patently got the lead, but only some miscommunication regarding the jam by the refs gained the Gardas a point. Psycho Novia scored her third lead jam in a row, just as jammer Rumblebee fell prey to a back-blocking trap set by Candi Pain. Novia could not advance through to the scoring pass, so called off the jam to pass the power jam to a fresh player. Dolly jammer Sparkle Ninja could not break through the Garda pack as Rumblebee emerged from her penalty, calling the jam as soon as she secured the lead to bring Suzie back to the jammer line.
Hoping to score more for the Gardas, Suzie was instead sent to the box while Scootaloo took another five to tie the game, 10-10 with 8 to go. Suzie was joined by Stacy Wrekt, leaving the Garda Belt defense a bit bare. Unfortunately for Psycho, the core Garda blockers of this match delayed the Doll for twenty seconds...almost enough for Suzie to take the lead as came out of the box. Psycho bust past and called off the jam with Suzie breathing down her neck.
Suzie then poodled herself...
poodle: v. the act of sending a jammer to the track as a blocker and telling her to standing in front of the pivot line, deliberately taking a false-start minor penalty. Performed by jammers to acquire a fourth minor penalty and a visit to the penalty box to clear out their minors before they go to the jammer line. Similar to: lancing a boil.
Suzie then poodled herself as Buffy the Vampire Skater and Rumblebee went to the jammer line. Buffy took the lead for four and called the jam with Suzie still in the box, the Gardas sent up rookie Cassie Rolle against Psycho Novia. Cassie skated like a natural, using Tiki and Citizen Pain's interference-running to score three points. 14-13 Dolls. Sparkle Ninja fairly exploded from the line and took lead while Rumblebee was sent to the penalty box...but it took 'bee a full fifteen seconds to realize what was happening and enter the box, giving Ninja the chance to reengage the pack even before Rumblebee sat down (a penalty does not start until the player is seated). Sparkle took advantage of this for eleven. With 'Bee still in the box, Doll rookie Killaman Jaro grabbed the lead and three more points as time expired for the half, Dolls ahead 28-13.
Three power jams kept the Gardas from scoring for a quarter of the first half, and the Dolls bled every moment of those opportunities to score points. For the Gardas, this was surely disappointing; they were being outled 9-4 by the Dolls, Suzie had only scored five points in the entire half...yet they were only behind by fifteen.
The fortunes of the Garda Belts changed immediately as they returned from halftime. Suzie did not struggle a whit as she bypassed the Dolls and gained speed for the scoring pass, taking a double slam while her opponent banged again and again into a rough Garda line. Sparkle Ninja responded with eight as her Dolly pack handled Anita hard enough to force a visit to the penalty box...but Sparkle Ninja popped Anita out of the box with a penalty of her own - as only one jammer can sit in the box at a time, Anita returned to the track for the end of the jam.
Suzie took advantage of the Garda power jam as Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture shoved open gaps in the Dolly wall. In her zeal to re-enter at the conclusion of her penalty, Sparkle Ninja re-entered the track into the thick of the pack...an automatic major penalty. With Ninja in for another minute, Suzie returned immediately to the jammer line and scored ten despite bouncing off the rock-strong Doll rookie Killaman Jaro. Tiki - so dominant in this match as a troubleshooter - shoved Jaro aside and let Suzie through. Sparkle returned to the track but did not score. Anita added to the lead with a grand slam on the Dolls, and the Gardas retook the lead, 49-36. Her opponent - Patently Offensive - was sent to the penalty box.
This would be the third penalty in four jams for the Dolls, tearing apart any ability the Dolls had to hold back the Gardas; a derby team is always at a strong disadvantage when their jammer is in the box. The Gardas charged ahead 24-0 amidst those four jams. Patently Offensive tore from the box in the following jam against Suzie Smashbox, holding the all-star Garda to one point while scoring one herself. With 7:30 to go, the Dolls had fallen behind by thirteen.
Suzie poodled again while Sparkle Ninja and Anita Spankston flew from the jammer line. With the help of Shiver Me Kimbers, Ninja blasted past adversity and brought her team back to within four...but the jam had gone long enough that Suzie had completed her trip to the penalty box. With a clean slate for minors, Suzie jammed against Scootaloo. Scootaloo, held up by Tiki Torture and Citizen Pain, could not crack the pack while Suzie scored nine unanswered points. With time for two more jams, Psycho Novia returned fire on the Gardas with four unaswered points to give the Dolls a shot at the win. However, the final Dolly jammer - Buffy the Vampire Skater - could not bypass the phenomenal Tiki Torture in time to beat Suzie for the lead. As time expired, Suzie called off the jam and gave the Garda Belts their first win, 59-50.
The Gardas came back to score 46 points in the second half to the Dolls' 22...just enough to make the difference. Neither team had a strong advantage on the other, and both teams fell prey to power jams throughout the match. However, while the Garda pack kept a lid on the Dagger Doll jammers during those minutes of unopposed jamming, the Doll pack was unable to stop Suzie Smashbox's power jams...particularly when she had blocker assistance from Citizen Pain, Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and Punish Mint Patty. Suzie appears to rely on her teammates for much more than a belt whip these days, and it seems that the Garda defense is going to continue to be very difficult to defeat. Rockits, Bombshells...take note.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox 7-11, 50 pts
18 Anita Spankston 1-3, 5 pts
350 Cassie Rolle 0-1, 3 pts
4x4 Rumblebee 2-8, 1 pt
DAGGER DOLLS
1111 Sparkle Ninja 3-7, 28 pts
109 Psycho Novia 6-7, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo 1-3, 5 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater 1-2, 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro 0-1, 3 pts
281 Patently Offensive 1-3, 1 pt
Set to maximum yield, Bombshells break Rockit streak, 78-76
For many fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls, the Rockits have always been the winners. They just win; they're the serious, hard-working, take-care-of-your-body kind of players that can tell you the ins and outs of the game as they outdrink you. If you started attending bouts in Season 4, you've never known anything different. On Saturday, the Rockits lost. More importantly, the Atomic Bombshells - under the leadership of Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden - played a smart game and beat the back-to-back champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls in a match that brought the fans roaring to their feet.
Venus Thightrap - lately the prime pivot for the All-Stars - returned to her jammer roots for the Atomic Bombshells against Harmony Killerbruise for the first jam. As the jammers made their way through on the initial pass, Venus' blockers opened the way for their scorer, then knocked the Rockit's franchise jammer to her back foot long enough for Venus to take the lead. Venus did not quite time the call of the jam, so Harmony grabbed a point to the Bombshell's two. Similarly, Bombshell L'exi Cuter took the next lead, but Abbie used the L'exi-shaped hole in the pack to get through herself and stole two points. Mae Gusta shot through the inside with ease for the Bombshells while Venus momentarily held back Harmony's jam...but the Rockit still got a point.
After a fast three-point jam from L'exi, Mae Gusta jammed against Harmony Killerbruise, again took the lead, and again allowed the Rockits to score. The Bombshells had so far taken every lead, scoring 17...but the Rockits kept stealing points. First bout jitters for the Bombshells, perhaps...but L'exi Cuter sprinted it off with an unanswerable grand slam-plus as she sped out of the pack through a hole made by Mitzi Massacre. Shaken, the Rockits called a timeout. 26-8 with eleven minutes left.
The Rockit defense became startlingly high-risk; three of their players went to the box in the next jam while Mae Gusta scored four. This led to an easy grand slam for L'exi Cuter against the Rockits' Vuedoo Prodigy as L'exi sped past a depleted Rockit pack. Harmony finally grabbed a lead jam and four for the Reds as her opponent was waylaid by Rockit blocker Pain Gretzky, but it was their first lead after eight in a row for the Bombshells. L'exi returned fire with a grand slam despite being tracked through the pack by Vuedoo Prodigy; Vue hit or stopped L'exi so many times, she may have kept the young Bombshell from scoring a double slam. A back block penalty from opposing jammer Trixxie Whipsum (forced by Tara Skatesov) allowed Mae Gusta to go to the line unopposed in the next jam, scoring another slam.
Scarmen Hellectra grabbed the second Rockit lead jam of the night with two minutes left in the half, scoring an unanswered five against opponent Tara. Scarmen also called off the jam just as L'exi was sent to the box as a blocker...trapping her so that she could not return to the line during the half. The ploy did not appear to do much; both Venus and Abbie Mischief each scored four in the final jam of the first half. Bombshells 49-23 at the half.
Five-for-five lead jamming from L'Exi-Cuter and several unanswered grand slams should have unsettled the Rockits. However, the Bombshell jammers weren't closing off their jams cleanly...giving their opponents an opportunity to score on them amidst the chaos of the pack. On the other hand, the Bombshell defense shocked the staff and fans by holding the Rockits to under thirty in the half.
The fire of the Bombshells almost flamed out at the beginning of the second half. Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead jam over Misfit Maiden, and while Harmony accelerated, the refs sent Misfit to the box as she tried to break through the back of the pack. The Bombshells seemed to panic as Harmony kept lapping and started trying to divebomb or strongarm the jammer...sending the defense to the box as well. Harmony posted a quadruple slam - 20 points - as the track emptied of Bombshells. Abbie Mischief took up the remainder of Misfit's power jam and - despite rapid-fire blocking from Tara Skatesov and Jocelyn D Jewels - scored another fifteen as the Bombshells continued to be shelled by the Rockit pack. Misfit re-entered but was sent back out to the box...However, the refs called Abbie on penalties just as time expired on the jam. With five minutes gone in the second half, the Rockits retook the lead 58-49.
Abbie's penalty at the end of the jam kept Misfit in the box until the start of the next one when Abbie officially began her penalty (as only one jammer can be in the box at a time). This meant Misfit couldn't swap out for a fresh jammer and had to start from the box, not the jammer line. Misfit pinballed her way through the pack and lapped, staying free of fouls while Abbie returned to the track and promptly got sent out again. Misfit endured a very rocky two minutes as Killahertz, Trinity Knox, and Meshugenough all laid into her, trying to force a foul. No such luck; Misfit hit the bench after seven minutes with the jammer star, scoring five. L'exi took Misfit's place and scored nine against a defiant Rockit defense...a jam that sent many Rockits to the box. Abbie returned from penalties as well for four, but L'exi regained the lead for the Bombshells, 63-62 with ten minutes left to play.
The Rockits and Bombshells seesawed over the next two jams. Harmony stole the lead on a fast four as her teammate Scarmen Hellectra held up opposing jammer Mae Gusta, and L'exi came right back for a Bombshell four. The Rockits simply could not contain L'exi Cuter; two jams later, L'exi led again and outscored Abbie 2-1.
Despite the occasional point stealing from the Rockits, L'exi's strong showing meant that the Bombshells continued to control the clock...and it was starting to run low. With only five minutes remaining, the coaches sent Scarmen back to the jammer line against Mae Gusta...and Scarmen came up big. Although she did not get the lead, Scarmen sped ahead of the pack and scored nine to Mae's three. The Bombshells called a timeout with three to go. Rockits took the lead, 76-72.
With the two teams separated by four, the Bombshells put up L'exi and the Rockits sent forward the hard-hitting Honeydew Felon. L'exi, seemingly tireless (and frankly immortal at this point), sped ahead of her booty-blocking opponent, took the lead, and scored three. One point game, and the Bombshells sent forward Venus Thightrap against Harmony Killerbruise for the final jam. The Rockits called a timeout, and the Bombshells took the opportunity to replace Venus with the red-hot L'exi. L'exi would not be stopped; despite hits from Vuedoo Prodigy and Scarmen Hellectra (sending both Rockits to the box), L'exi scored her tenth lead jam of the forty-minute game and skated as if her team depended on her while Harmony was held back by Tara, Misfit, and Diamond Rough. L'exi accelerated and scored three before calling off the jam with less than two seconds remaining...and with the Rockits out of timeouts, the Bombshells collapsed on the track as their fans screamed their win to the rafters. Final score: 78-76.
Amazing match. The first part of the second half showed exactly how good the Rockits could be at playing the game, stranding Misfit in the midst of a hard-hitting Rockit pack...but Misfit hung through long enough for the Bombshells to recover and knock around Abbie the same way. It's clear that this summer has been very good to the Bombshells as so many rookies trained at the level of the All-Stars. We can hope that next month's matches are so close, so intense, so chock-full of awesome. Congratulations to the Atomic Bombshells for their victory!
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter 10-10, 43 pts
456 Mae Gusta 3-5, 16 pts
55 Venus Thightrap 3-4, 14 pts
313 Misfit Maiden 0-3, 5 pts
47 Shady O'Dread 0-1, 0 pts
21 Tara Skatesov 0-1, 0 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise 4-8, 34 pts
318 Abbie Mischief 1-7, 26 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra 1-2, 14 pts
6 Trixxie Whipsum 0-3, 0 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy 0-2, 0 pts
333 Coochie Coup 0-1, 2 pts
25 to Life Honeydew Felon 0-1, 0 pts
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