Well, that just about does it. Another season of writing in the bag. Some thank-yous are in order:
- To the Stats booth, particularly those who have to sit around me...thank you for constantly feeding me numbers while I sit at the mic, telling our league's story to myself and those who need a better read of the action than the announcers can give. And thank you for not killing me when I occasionally ZOMG into your ear...
- ...Flip in particular. The man drops me bout stats a day after the matches. You've no idea how much easier it is to process information for the recaps or to do some back-of-the-envelope analysis for the previews.
- Hey, Skully! Thanks for the bout videos. Absolutely useful.
- To Soylent Mean, who we look forward to seeing lined up in the Rockit pack next year...thanks for your help as gatekeeper of the MNRG website.
- To every player on every team that didn't mind answering a few questions this year...many thanks. Whether you're a captain, an NSO, a ref, or the rawest rookie in the world, you've made my life much easier.
- Wet Spot, who kept me writing for the Brawl of America. You sucked me into derby further...couldn't be happier.
- Thank you to everyone who reads the blog version of these posts and took the time to point out errors. I never quite expected to crowdsource the recaps for consumption by the mothership website, but it's working well.
- Speaking of editing and errors, my wife's best graces have been tested for three years. She's the final point of editing for the previews and recaps. Usually points out at least one part of each bout which I've forgotten or got lost in the editing and kicks me until I get it in there. Thank you, Sherry.
- Finally and foremost...thanks to the women of the MNRG. We love all of you. Full stop.
- Psst. TCTs? NSRG? We love you too.
Blog readers, the MNRG fanbase is growing. We're regularly hitting 4500+ and had two sellouts this year. Our service to the fans is going to need to grow along with it as we continue to become the pre-eminent women's sporting event in Saint Paul. I'm going to be spending some time this summer working out how to up my own game. Those of you who read this tend to be players, staff, and family of the MNRG...what ways do you see that we can better serve our fans?
Best to you all,
-Drew "Garrison Killer" Johnson
P.S. You, the person reading this. Who are you? Drop me a line at djohnson.stpaul@gmail.com. I'd like to have a better idea of who's looking at this.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Gardas outplay Dolls for 3rd, 74-45
The MNRG Garda Belts took the game to the Dagger Dolls on April 3rd in a third-place bout that was rarely in doubt. The Gardas has long had a strong presence in the pack, but the surprise in this bout was the coming-out party for Cassie Rolle and the resurgence of Angelfire as a jammer after years of injury and rehab. With both sides of the Garda machine going, the women in green took the lead more than 75% of the time. The Dolls had their surges of excellence, but the Gardas took the day.
The Garda Belts stole an early march from the opening whistle. Garda co-captain Suzie Smashbox took the first lead after being denied by Doll blocker Shiver Me Kimbers. She recovered and returned to slash past Kimbers and Buffy the Vampire Skater. Garda blocker Tiki Torture delayed Killamon Jaro long enough for Suzie to score four. Garda rookie Cassie Rolle next took three as Hanna Belle Lector denied Psycho Novia, then Suzie Smashbox scored another four as Tiki cleared Sparkle Ninja from her path. Killamon Jaro stole two before Suzie called the jam. 11-2 Gardas after only four minutes.
Suzie, Cassie, and Garda veteran Angelfire pounded past the Dagger defense for ten more unanswered points in the next three jams. The quick runs gave the Dolls little chance to protect their own enough to take a lead. However, once the Garda scorer had burst through, the Dolls' attention turned to getting their own jammers through. This focus kept the Gardas from scoring more than four points at a time. However, Killamon Jaro fell hard amidst a jam and did not seem able to recover her stride. 21-2 Garda Belts.
Psycho Novia pushed through at last with a point for her Dolls on a three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, but it was Sparkle Ninja who blasted past an illegal hit from Hanna Belle Lector and took the Dolls' first lead jam. Following a brief exchange of jammer penalties, both Ninja and Angelfire scored four. With eight minutes to go in the half, Suzie responded with a big grand slam-plus as her blockers knocked the rookie Doll Patently Offensive into her teammate Wonderbroad. Patently "Leo" almost broke out, but Garda co-captain Citizen Pain corralled her out of bounds, depositing her into the rear of the pack. With Wonderbroad's help, Leo broke the pack and kept Suzie from scoring more. 37-7 Gardas.
Cassie Rolle beat Sinaminn and Lydia Punch by jamming the outside line and accelerated past an attempted blindside from Lydia for four points for the Gardas, but then the Dolls came up big. Attacking Suzie Smashbox, Wonderbroad and Shiver Me Kimbers peeled off Gardas enough to clear the road for Psycho Novia. Psycho knifed through the pack, lapped them for five, and juked past a frustrated Suzie for an additional three points - effectively doubling the Dolly score, 41-15. After a rapid-fire duel between Angelfire (leaping over a teammate's leg for the lead) and Killamon Jaro, Buffy the Vampire Skater scored an unopposed grand slam for the Dolls to close the half from a power jam off of a star-wearing Tiki Torture. With half the game gone, the Gardas had a strong lead of 43-21.
Killamon Jaro and Suzie returned to the jammer line for the first jam of the second half. Jaro, as before, sped a little ahead to engage the pack but got caught in Garda green on the outside. Meanwhile, her teammates Wonderbroad and Shiver Me Kimbers attempted to delay Smashbox long enough for Jaro to loose herself from the pack. No such luck; KJ fell afoul of Citizen Pain's attention, and Suzie scored five. Cassie Rolle and Suzie took the next two leads, but did not score. Neither did Patently Offensive as she gained her team's second lead in the game with Angelfire mere paces behind her. Suzie finally got the scoreboard moving again with four points as she dodged a Doll pack that grew steadily more desperate to take down the Garda jammer. 52-21 Gardas with twelve to go.
The Dolls were running ragged. The next jam would be the third consecutive one in which the women in pink had two of their blockers cooling their heels in the penalty box...but it didn't appear to matter. Psycho Novia took to the jammer line and broke through the pack with a minor back-blocking violation, so she had no lead. Again, it didn't matter; suddenly, no one could touch #109...Psycho Novia lapped the pack as Wonderbroad waylaid opposing jammer Cassie Rolle for the full two minutes. Thirteen points for Psycho Novia, 52-34.
Suzie responded by taking four back in the next jam. Angelfire pushed the lead out even more by skirting the opposition while Punishmint Patty and Optimiss Crime descended on her opposing jammer. Angelfire flew back around, scored a grand slam and called off the jam. Suzie took her fifth lead of the half as her trailblazer Tiki Torture pushed Sparkle Ninja out of her way, allowing her to score one. 62-34 with six remaining. The Dolls needed a big score soon.
Patently Offensive delivered for her team, scoring a grand slam by leaning through the inside lane while Wonderbroad and Ova Achieva dealt with Cassie Rolle. However, while Killamon Jaro scored two in the next jam as well, it would be their last score until the final jam. After a scoreless jam, Suzie took her twelfth lead of the game (12-for-13 in all) and scored her final slam as Killamon Jaro attempted to take the outside, only to find Tiki Torture waiting. Jaro got hit with a penalty, and Suzie scored five.
With time for one last jam, Garda Belt coach Seamonster sent fan favorite Rumblebee to the jammer line to play unopposed. She had just gotten halfway through the pack when Sparkle Ninja ambushed the Garda veteran, tackling her from behind. The refs restrained Ninja and sent her to the locker room. The clock was restarted, and with so little time left, the game reached the end of regulation.
The Gardas appealed the decision, and the fans and Dagger Dolls alike loudly agreed. The refs pulled the clock back to three seconds, and one final jam began for Rumblebee against Patently Offensive for the Dollys. Rumblebee took the lead of that last jam. Both Leo and Rumblebee scored four. Gardas win, 74-45.
While it is difficult to speculate, Killamon Jaro's early injury probably had a significant effect on the score. The Dolls played Jaro in heavy rotation during the match, but her speed and agility seemed hampered after those initial couple of jams. That said, the Gardas played a beautiful game. They played rather short for this bout, so their reliance on one another's skill increased out of neccessity. What's more, Angelfire used that win to recement herself in the minds of the fans that she was no 'backup jammer' for the Gardas. Her pace and command of the track was a far cry from her earlier efforts in the year. In all, hell of a win for the women in green.
With the season at its end, both the Dollys and Gardas now have their work cut out for them. In six months, the season begins anew. What's more, the home season begins in October. Players and coaches have spoken of this and told this reporter that they feel the season is only half-done. Season seven - and another shot at the Golden Skate - awaits. We'll see you there.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (12-13) 46 pts
c² Angelfire (4-6) 14 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (5-6) 10 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (1-2) 4 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 0 pts
DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (1-9) 22 pts
281 Patently Offensive (2-5) 9 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater (0-2) 6 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (0-10) 4 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-2) 4 pts
Reporting from the exact geographical center of roller derby today,
-Garrison Killer
The Garda Belts stole an early march from the opening whistle. Garda co-captain Suzie Smashbox took the first lead after being denied by Doll blocker Shiver Me Kimbers. She recovered and returned to slash past Kimbers and Buffy the Vampire Skater. Garda blocker Tiki Torture delayed Killamon Jaro long enough for Suzie to score four. Garda rookie Cassie Rolle next took three as Hanna Belle Lector denied Psycho Novia, then Suzie Smashbox scored another four as Tiki cleared Sparkle Ninja from her path. Killamon Jaro stole two before Suzie called the jam. 11-2 Gardas after only four minutes.
Suzie, Cassie, and Garda veteran Angelfire pounded past the Dagger defense for ten more unanswered points in the next three jams. The quick runs gave the Dolls little chance to protect their own enough to take a lead. However, once the Garda scorer had burst through, the Dolls' attention turned to getting their own jammers through. This focus kept the Gardas from scoring more than four points at a time. However, Killamon Jaro fell hard amidst a jam and did not seem able to recover her stride. 21-2 Garda Belts.
Psycho Novia pushed through at last with a point for her Dolls on a three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, but it was Sparkle Ninja who blasted past an illegal hit from Hanna Belle Lector and took the Dolls' first lead jam. Following a brief exchange of jammer penalties, both Ninja and Angelfire scored four. With eight minutes to go in the half, Suzie responded with a big grand slam-plus as her blockers knocked the rookie Doll Patently Offensive into her teammate Wonderbroad. Patently "Leo" almost broke out, but Garda co-captain Citizen Pain corralled her out of bounds, depositing her into the rear of the pack. With Wonderbroad's help, Leo broke the pack and kept Suzie from scoring more. 37-7 Gardas.
Cassie Rolle beat Sinaminn and Lydia Punch by jamming the outside line and accelerated past an attempted blindside from Lydia for four points for the Gardas, but then the Dolls came up big. Attacking Suzie Smashbox, Wonderbroad and Shiver Me Kimbers peeled off Gardas enough to clear the road for Psycho Novia. Psycho knifed through the pack, lapped them for five, and juked past a frustrated Suzie for an additional three points - effectively doubling the Dolly score, 41-15. After a rapid-fire duel between Angelfire (leaping over a teammate's leg for the lead) and Killamon Jaro, Buffy the Vampire Skater scored an unopposed grand slam for the Dolls to close the half from a power jam off of a star-wearing Tiki Torture. With half the game gone, the Gardas had a strong lead of 43-21.
Killamon Jaro and Suzie returned to the jammer line for the first jam of the second half. Jaro, as before, sped a little ahead to engage the pack but got caught in Garda green on the outside. Meanwhile, her teammates Wonderbroad and Shiver Me Kimbers attempted to delay Smashbox long enough for Jaro to loose herself from the pack. No such luck; KJ fell afoul of Citizen Pain's attention, and Suzie scored five. Cassie Rolle and Suzie took the next two leads, but did not score. Neither did Patently Offensive as she gained her team's second lead in the game with Angelfire mere paces behind her. Suzie finally got the scoreboard moving again with four points as she dodged a Doll pack that grew steadily more desperate to take down the Garda jammer. 52-21 Gardas with twelve to go.
The Dolls were running ragged. The next jam would be the third consecutive one in which the women in pink had two of their blockers cooling their heels in the penalty box...but it didn't appear to matter. Psycho Novia took to the jammer line and broke through the pack with a minor back-blocking violation, so she had no lead. Again, it didn't matter; suddenly, no one could touch #109...Psycho Novia lapped the pack as Wonderbroad waylaid opposing jammer Cassie Rolle for the full two minutes. Thirteen points for Psycho Novia, 52-34.
Suzie responded by taking four back in the next jam. Angelfire pushed the lead out even more by skirting the opposition while Punishmint Patty and Optimiss Crime descended on her opposing jammer. Angelfire flew back around, scored a grand slam and called off the jam. Suzie took her fifth lead of the half as her trailblazer Tiki Torture pushed Sparkle Ninja out of her way, allowing her to score one. 62-34 with six remaining. The Dolls needed a big score soon.
Patently Offensive delivered for her team, scoring a grand slam by leaning through the inside lane while Wonderbroad and Ova Achieva dealt with Cassie Rolle. However, while Killamon Jaro scored two in the next jam as well, it would be their last score until the final jam. After a scoreless jam, Suzie took her twelfth lead of the game (12-for-13 in all) and scored her final slam as Killamon Jaro attempted to take the outside, only to find Tiki Torture waiting. Jaro got hit with a penalty, and Suzie scored five.
With time for one last jam, Garda Belt coach Seamonster sent fan favorite Rumblebee to the jammer line to play unopposed. She had just gotten halfway through the pack when Sparkle Ninja ambushed the Garda veteran, tackling her from behind. The refs restrained Ninja and sent her to the locker room. The clock was restarted, and with so little time left, the game reached the end of regulation.
The Gardas appealed the decision, and the fans and Dagger Dolls alike loudly agreed. The refs pulled the clock back to three seconds, and one final jam began for Rumblebee against Patently Offensive for the Dollys. Rumblebee took the lead of that last jam. Both Leo and Rumblebee scored four. Gardas win, 74-45.
While it is difficult to speculate, Killamon Jaro's early injury probably had a significant effect on the score. The Dolls played Jaro in heavy rotation during the match, but her speed and agility seemed hampered after those initial couple of jams. That said, the Gardas played a beautiful game. They played rather short for this bout, so their reliance on one another's skill increased out of neccessity. What's more, Angelfire used that win to recement herself in the minds of the fans that she was no 'backup jammer' for the Gardas. Her pace and command of the track was a far cry from her earlier efforts in the year. In all, hell of a win for the women in green.
With the season at its end, both the Dollys and Gardas now have their work cut out for them. In six months, the season begins anew. What's more, the home season begins in October. Players and coaches have spoken of this and told this reporter that they feel the season is only half-done. Season seven - and another shot at the Golden Skate - awaits. We'll see you there.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (12-13) 46 pts
c² Angelfire (4-6) 14 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (5-6) 10 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (1-2) 4 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 0 pts
DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (1-9) 22 pts
281 Patently Offensive (2-5) 9 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater (0-2) 6 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (0-10) 4 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-2) 4 pts
Reporting from the exact geographical center of roller derby today,
-Garrison Killer
Atomic Bombshells go hot for the championship, 78-58
The Atomic Bombshells defeated the Rockits in a thriller of a game - a Rockitbuster, if you will - on April 3rd at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium. The Bombshells played their strategy to their utmost, summoning every resource they could muster to send their jammer to the front. And though it seemed as if penalties in the pack might end their hopes to hold the Golden Skate high, the Bombshells emerged triumphant.
With Vuedoo Prodigy still in the box for the Rockits, Venus sped through the pack unopposed for the Bombshell's fourth lead jam in the half. The Rockits seemed eager to speed up the pace, but the Bombshells skated steadily to catch the Reds ahead of the pack. Venus scored a double slam and the Atomic Bombshells went up by eight. Harmony knocked down the lead with the Rockits' first lead jam of the half and called off the jam after scoring three. Rockits called a timeout with ten left to play, 48-43 Bombshells ahead.
As play resumed, Vuedoo Prodigy jumped through danger, broke past a thin Bombshell pack, but did not take lead. Lagging just behind, Mae found her way through legally and called off the jam. By this time, the Bombshells were in serious foul trouble as orange blockers flew into the penalty box in ones and twos. The Rockits took advantage of this and camped on Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap in the next jam, delaying her long enough for Harmony Killerbruise to take the lead and bring the score to a tie, 49-49. The Rockits, led by Killahertz, did precisely the same job on Mae as Harmony took her second lead in two jams and scored nine unanswered points. The Rockits took their final timeout, presumably to plan their final set of jams.
Vue poodled herself into the penalty box as a blocker to clear out her minor penalties, and Scarmen went to the line for the Rockits against L'exi-cuter. L'exi started to attack Scar in the pack, but like Vuedoo, Scarmen stayed up. However, she skated into Jocelyn D'Jewels from behind and knocked her down. The refs sent her out, L'exi got the lead, and started sprinting out her power jam. Outrunning opposition at every turn, L'exi was assisted by her blockers slow-pack trapping Trixie Whipsum in the back. In all, L'exi scored nineteen points...almost a quadruple slam! With a lead shift and time running out, Venus Thightrap outskated the Rockit pack for the next lead against Harmony, and scored three before getting nailed by six-year Rockit veteran Pain Gretzky. 71-58 with two remaining.
Vue jammed against Mae Gusta, took the lead, and scored...but at the conclusion of the jam, the refs called for a timeout. Venus Thightrap stepped to the line as the referees conferred; it seemed that a back block had been called on the Rockits jammer, but the hand signal had not been seen by Vuedoo. After much consternation, Vuedoo was sent to the box, her points stripped. Venus almost fell over in shock and joy; only 1:19 remained on the clock, and if she could pull the lead, the game was practically over. Venus wound her way through the pack, and took that last lead. However, not wishing to take her last jam in safety, she charged right through the pack again, scoring five as Vuedoo returned from the box.
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts
Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead for the Rockits, but Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap forced her to call the jam by bypassing on the sprint to the back of the pack. L'exi-cuter, recharged from last month's break, found a way around Rockit blocker Scarmen Hellectra up front (who went to the box off an illegal hit), took the lead, and charged ahead for the first three points of the game. The Bombshells' Mae Gusta tore up the concrete for another lead amidst a light Rockit pack. Mae came back around for her first scoring pass, looked back, and found Harmony Killerbruise a breath behind her. Mae called off the jam. 3-0 Bombshells.
Venus Thightrap took the lead via a gaping hole on the inside of the Rockit defense. As she wound up for the lapping sprint, she found herself practically alone on the track; Rockit jammer Vuedoo Prodigy had gone to the penalty box along with two of her blockers. Venus scrambled to take advantage for eight points, then called off the jam as a stone-faced Honeydew Felon knocked her to the ground. L'exi-cuter scored four against a boxed Vuedoo, but Vue put her Rockits on the board as she lanced past Flora Flipabitch to pace L'exi and score a single point. The Bombshells scored their fifth consecutive lead jam as Mae clawed past the aggressively lanky Killahertz and Scarmen Hellectra. However, Abbie Mischief actually scored more (4-2) on the jam. Harmony cut off the lead jam streak as she and L'exi went 2 and 2. 19-7, Bombshells ahead.
If the Bombshells were showing poise up to this point, they suddenly took a pratfall as Vue sped through to grab the next lead. Vue started her scoring run, and her opponent found herself in Vue's position from a couple of jams previous; heading to the box with additional Bombshells quickly in tow. The chairs in the penalty area filled with orange-wearing players, so many that at least one had to be waved off. Vue sprang through a decimated pack and grabbed fourteen. Finding a sweet inside line and beating on the wilted Bombshell pack, Harmony Killerbruise took the lead, scored nine, and gave the Rockits their first of many lead changes through the evening. 30-22 Rockits with six minutes remaining in the half.
Rockit veteran Scarmen Hellectra accelerated past Bombshell blocker Jocelyn D'Jewels to take the next lead. Mae Gusta camped in the back of the pack to deny Scar's path into the pack for the scoring run, but Rockit rookie Konceal'N Kari peeled off Mae to give her scorer a clear line to score five unanswered points. Two jams later, L'exi-cuter closed up the gap with three points as the Rockits miscued a pack destruction, giving L'exi safe passage and sending Scarmen to the box as part of the Rockits' illegal maneuver. Two jams after that, L'exi took advantage of Skullateral Damage's delay of opposing jammer Vuedoo Prodigy to take four more. At the half, the Bombshells had closed the gap to seven. 36-29 Rockits.
At the halfway point, the Rockits and Bombshells were both playing a fast pace, making few mistakes. The match-up was tight; even the power jams seemed to mirror one another. The Rockits were finding ways to capitalize on Bombshell mistakes, but the Bombshells weren't making many at this point.
Venus Thightrap took the second half's first lead jam amidst heavy strafing from opposing jammer Harmony Killerbruise. Once Venus broke through that pack, the Rockits sped up to delay the Bombshells' scoring run. Venus scored four, but Harmony caught up enough to steal one point. The Bombshells, showing an ability to play at the Rockits' fast pace, took the next lead as L'exi threaded a space not much wider than a dictionary on the turn. No points for either team. Mae Gusta grabbed the next lead for no points as the Bombshells kept playing to their strength: putting the jammer to the front above all else, even at the expense of their blockers going to the box.
Venus Thightrap took the lead via a gaping hole on the inside of the Rockit defense. As she wound up for the lapping sprint, she found herself practically alone on the track; Rockit jammer Vuedoo Prodigy had gone to the penalty box along with two of her blockers. Venus scrambled to take advantage for eight points, then called off the jam as a stone-faced Honeydew Felon knocked her to the ground. L'exi-cuter scored four against a boxed Vuedoo, but Vue put her Rockits on the board as she lanced past Flora Flipabitch to pace L'exi and score a single point. The Bombshells scored their fifth consecutive lead jam as Mae clawed past the aggressively lanky Killahertz and Scarmen Hellectra. However, Abbie Mischief actually scored more (4-2) on the jam. Harmony cut off the lead jam streak as she and L'exi went 2 and 2. 19-7, Bombshells ahead.
If the Bombshells were showing poise up to this point, they suddenly took a pratfall as Vue sped through to grab the next lead. Vue started her scoring run, and her opponent found herself in Vue's position from a couple of jams previous; heading to the box with additional Bombshells quickly in tow. The chairs in the penalty area filled with orange-wearing players, so many that at least one had to be waved off. Vue sprang through a decimated pack and grabbed fourteen. Finding a sweet inside line and beating on the wilted Bombshell pack, Harmony Killerbruise took the lead, scored nine, and gave the Rockits their first of many lead changes through the evening. 30-22 Rockits with six minutes remaining in the half.
Rockit veteran Scarmen Hellectra accelerated past Bombshell blocker Jocelyn D'Jewels to take the next lead. Mae Gusta camped in the back of the pack to deny Scar's path into the pack for the scoring run, but Rockit rookie Konceal'N Kari peeled off Mae to give her scorer a clear line to score five unanswered points. Two jams later, L'exi-cuter closed up the gap with three points as the Rockits miscued a pack destruction, giving L'exi safe passage and sending Scarmen to the box as part of the Rockits' illegal maneuver. Two jams after that, L'exi took advantage of Skullateral Damage's delay of opposing jammer Vuedoo Prodigy to take four more. At the half, the Bombshells had closed the gap to seven. 36-29 Rockits.
At the halfway point, the Rockits and Bombshells were both playing a fast pace, making few mistakes. The match-up was tight; even the power jams seemed to mirror one another. The Rockits were finding ways to capitalize on Bombshell mistakes, but the Bombshells weren't making many at this point.
Venus Thightrap took the second half's first lead jam amidst heavy strafing from opposing jammer Harmony Killerbruise. Once Venus broke through that pack, the Rockits sped up to delay the Bombshells' scoring run. Venus scored four, but Harmony caught up enough to steal one point. The Bombshells, showing an ability to play at the Rockits' fast pace, took the next lead as L'exi threaded a space not much wider than a dictionary on the turn. No points for either team. Mae Gusta grabbed the next lead for no points as the Bombshells kept playing to their strength: putting the jammer to the front above all else, even at the expense of their blockers going to the box.
With two Bombshells in the box and against a full pack of Rizzo, Abbie Mischief, Icepack, and Scarmen, L'exi-cuter had difficulty getting through for her team. Opposing jammer Vuedoo Prodigy came up aside, and L'exi tried to send her out. No such luck; Vue took the lead and scored three before heading to the box for back-blocking. L'exi shot through the pack on her first lap for a grand slam. 40-38 Rockits, thirteen to play.
With Vuedoo Prodigy still in the box for the Rockits, Venus sped through the pack unopposed for the Bombshell's fourth lead jam in the half. The Rockits seemed eager to speed up the pace, but the Bombshells skated steadily to catch the Reds ahead of the pack. Venus scored a double slam and the Atomic Bombshells went up by eight. Harmony knocked down the lead with the Rockits' first lead jam of the half and called off the jam after scoring three. Rockits called a timeout with ten left to play, 48-43 Bombshells ahead.
As play resumed, Vuedoo Prodigy jumped through danger, broke past a thin Bombshell pack, but did not take lead. Lagging just behind, Mae found her way through legally and called off the jam. By this time, the Bombshells were in serious foul trouble as orange blockers flew into the penalty box in ones and twos. The Rockits took advantage of this and camped on Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap in the next jam, delaying her long enough for Harmony Killerbruise to take the lead and bring the score to a tie, 49-49. The Rockits, led by Killahertz, did precisely the same job on Mae as Harmony took her second lead in two jams and scored nine unanswered points. The Rockits took their final timeout, presumably to plan their final set of jams.
Vue poodled herself into the penalty box as a blocker to clear out her minor penalties, and Scarmen went to the line for the Rockits against L'exi-cuter. L'exi started to attack Scar in the pack, but like Vuedoo, Scarmen stayed up. However, she skated into Jocelyn D'Jewels from behind and knocked her down. The refs sent her out, L'exi got the lead, and started sprinting out her power jam. Outrunning opposition at every turn, L'exi was assisted by her blockers slow-pack trapping Trixie Whipsum in the back. In all, L'exi scored nineteen points...almost a quadruple slam! With a lead shift and time running out, Venus Thightrap outskated the Rockit pack for the next lead against Harmony, and scored three before getting nailed by six-year Rockit veteran Pain Gretzky. 71-58 with two remaining.
Vue jammed against Mae Gusta, took the lead, and scored...but at the conclusion of the jam, the refs called for a timeout. Venus Thightrap stepped to the line as the referees conferred; it seemed that a back block had been called on the Rockits jammer, but the hand signal had not been seen by Vuedoo. After much consternation, Vuedoo was sent to the box, her points stripped. Venus almost fell over in shock and joy; only 1:19 remained on the clock, and if she could pull the lead, the game was practically over. Venus wound her way through the pack, and took that last lead. However, not wishing to take her last jam in safety, she charged right through the pack again, scoring five as Vuedoo returned from the box.
Just as regulation ended, Venus turned, saw the clock, and put her hands to her hips. In that motion, she completed the Bombshells' undefeated season. The Atomic Bombshells began the fifth season as a team of rookies and veterans open to new ways of play. They won only two games in 2009. Many of those players took no summer break and entered into a difficult All-Star season ready to learn. Some never played as an All-Star, but they came out of the experience as a pack capable of taking on all comers. That drive gave them the Golden Skate and a winning streak that now stands at six...only three away from the Rockit record.
Final score: 78-58. Congratulations to the Bombshells, our 2010 champions. Keep coming back to the MNRG website for updates on the upcoming All-Star break, as well as all the news on Season 7. Ladies and gentlemen, we will see you in October.
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts
Reporting from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer
Monday, April 5, 2010
BOMBS AWAY; Gardas finish third. (recaplet)
Bombshells take the Title, 78-58
The Atomic Bombshells skated their way to MNRG history on April 3rd, defeating the two-time defending champion Rockits and finishing the home season undefeated. The Bombshells started well, scoring eleven unanswered points in the first four jams. At the halfway mark, the Rockits had at last started to get their line-grinding defense to start sending opponents to the box and getting points on the board, but the Bombshells still outscored them. 19-7 Bombshells with ten to go.
The scoring tide came in for the Rockits the very next jam as Vuedoo Prodigy busted free for the Rockits and scored fourteen points on a power jam (and changing the lead) as Venus Thightrap languished in the box. Harmony Killerbruise, then Scarmen Hellectra followed up for another fourteen unanswered points as the Bombshells tried to recover from penalty troubles accrued during the power jam (35-22 Rockits). However, the Atomic Bombshells reasserted their coordinated defense and held the Rockits all but scoreless in the last five minutes. At the half, the Rockits up 36-29.
The Rockits took control of the pace of the second half, using their superior speed control to tear apart the Bombshell pack. The Bombshell defense depends on play-calling and syncronized defense, so by stringing out the pack the Rockits attempted to hamstring their opponents. However, the Bombshells have done everything possible to get their jammer to the front this year. It's their primary strategy, and though it cost the Bombshells in defense (they started half of the jams two blockers short), but they kept the game tight by continuing that trend.
After several lead changes in the half, the turn of the game occurred as L'exi-cuter scored 19 points on the power jam with eight minutes to go. Lead change; Bombshells up 68-58. Suddenly, it was the Rockits who needed to start attacking more strongly, but the Bombshells controlled the clock to the end. A final Rockit jammer penalty sealed the deal for the Bombshells. With one last victory slam by Bombshell standard-bearer Venus Thightrap, the Roy's faithful rose, crowning the undefeated Atomic Bombshells champions as time expired, 78-58.
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts
Gardas outplay Dagger Dolls for third place
In this 3rd-place bout, the Gardas took the lead and never looked back. Garda Belt jammers took the first seven jams, led by captain and jammer Suzie Smashbox (who went a mind-blowing 12-for-13 lead jams in the bout). At the ten-minute mark, the Gardas were up 24-3.
Sparkle Ninja took the first of three lead jams for the Dagger Dolls in the half, but it was Psycho Novia and Buffy the Vampire Skater (scoring fourteen unanswered points over two jams) that kept the Dollys from falling further behind. Otherwise, the Garda defense dominated the track, led by no less than six veteran Gardas stopping Dollys from advancing on every turn. 43-21 Gardas at the half.
The Gardas widened the gap at the start of the second half, scoring eleven unanswered points in its first eight minutes, though the MNRG audience cheered as Dagger Doll Psycho Novia charged in for thirteen as her teammate Wonderbroad contained Garda Cassie Rolle for two minutes. 52-34 Garda Belts.
The Garda blockers laid into the Dolly scorers from that point. Psycho did not score again in the game, and her fellow Dolly jammers scored only eleven more. The game ended oddly. Long-time veteran Rumblebee donned the star for the final jam of the game. However, the jam ended prematurely as Dagger Doll Sparkle Ninja dragged her down from behind and jumped on her swinging. The refs pulled Sparkle off and sent her out, but a mistimed clock start brought about the end of regulation. Both teams appealed and the Roy crowd loudly requested one more jam. The refs called for a new jam clock and three seconds on the board, and so 'Bee took her place at the line again and took lead, scoring four for her beloved team. Gardas take third, 74-45.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (12-13) 46 pts
c² Angelfire (4-6) 14 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (5-6) 10 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (1-2) 4 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 0 pts
DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (1-9) 22 pts
281 Patently Offensive (2-5) 9 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater (0-2) 6 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-2) 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (0-10) 4 pts
For the full recap of these tremendous bouts, keep watching this space - Garrison Killer is out for a week in beautiful (but damp) Seattle visiting family. Expect the rundown next week.
What a season. Congratulations to the Atomic Bombshells for a tremendous run!
The Atomic Bombshells skated their way to MNRG history on April 3rd, defeating the two-time defending champion Rockits and finishing the home season undefeated. The Bombshells started well, scoring eleven unanswered points in the first four jams. At the halfway mark, the Rockits had at last started to get their line-grinding defense to start sending opponents to the box and getting points on the board, but the Bombshells still outscored them. 19-7 Bombshells with ten to go.
The scoring tide came in for the Rockits the very next jam as Vuedoo Prodigy busted free for the Rockits and scored fourteen points on a power jam (and changing the lead) as Venus Thightrap languished in the box. Harmony Killerbruise, then Scarmen Hellectra followed up for another fourteen unanswered points as the Bombshells tried to recover from penalty troubles accrued during the power jam (35-22 Rockits). However, the Atomic Bombshells reasserted their coordinated defense and held the Rockits all but scoreless in the last five minutes. At the half, the Rockits up 36-29.
The Rockits took control of the pace of the second half, using their superior speed control to tear apart the Bombshell pack. The Bombshell defense depends on play-calling and syncronized defense, so by stringing out the pack the Rockits attempted to hamstring their opponents. However, the Bombshells have done everything possible to get their jammer to the front this year. It's their primary strategy, and though it cost the Bombshells in defense (they started half of the jams two blockers short), but they kept the game tight by continuing that trend.
After several lead changes in the half, the turn of the game occurred as L'exi-cuter scored 19 points on the power jam with eight minutes to go. Lead change; Bombshells up 68-58. Suddenly, it was the Rockits who needed to start attacking more strongly, but the Bombshells controlled the clock to the end. A final Rockit jammer penalty sealed the deal for the Bombshells. With one last victory slam by Bombshell standard-bearer Venus Thightrap, the Roy's faithful rose, crowning the undefeated Atomic Bombshells champions as time expired, 78-58.
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts
Gardas outplay Dagger Dolls for third place
In this 3rd-place bout, the Gardas took the lead and never looked back. Garda Belt jammers took the first seven jams, led by captain and jammer Suzie Smashbox (who went a mind-blowing 12-for-13 lead jams in the bout). At the ten-minute mark, the Gardas were up 24-3.
Sparkle Ninja took the first of three lead jams for the Dagger Dolls in the half, but it was Psycho Novia and Buffy the Vampire Skater (scoring fourteen unanswered points over two jams) that kept the Dollys from falling further behind. Otherwise, the Garda defense dominated the track, led by no less than six veteran Gardas stopping Dollys from advancing on every turn. 43-21 Gardas at the half.
The Gardas widened the gap at the start of the second half, scoring eleven unanswered points in its first eight minutes, though the MNRG audience cheered as Dagger Doll Psycho Novia charged in for thirteen as her teammate Wonderbroad contained Garda Cassie Rolle for two minutes. 52-34 Garda Belts.
The Garda blockers laid into the Dolly scorers from that point. Psycho did not score again in the game, and her fellow Dolly jammers scored only eleven more. The game ended oddly. Long-time veteran Rumblebee donned the star for the final jam of the game. However, the jam ended prematurely as Dagger Doll Sparkle Ninja dragged her down from behind and jumped on her swinging. The refs pulled Sparkle off and sent her out, but a mistimed clock start brought about the end of regulation. Both teams appealed and the Roy crowd loudly requested one more jam. The refs called for a new jam clock and three seconds on the board, and so 'Bee took her place at the line again and took lead, scoring four for her beloved team. Gardas take third, 74-45.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (12-13) 46 pts
c² Angelfire (4-6) 14 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (5-6) 10 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (1-2) 4 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 0 pts
DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (1-9) 22 pts
281 Patently Offensive (2-5) 9 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater (0-2) 6 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-2) 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (0-10) 4 pts
For the full recap of these tremendous bouts, keep watching this space - Garrison Killer is out for a week in beautiful (but damp) Seattle visiting family. Expect the rundown next week.
What a season. Congratulations to the Atomic Bombshells for a tremendous run!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)