Monday, May 10, 2010

Season Seven begins now.

It's time for the Season Seven news.  Let's begin with the retirements.  The following players will be stepping back next season (we call it 'going Class C'):

Atomic Bombshells:
- Flora Flipabitch
- Mae Gusta
- Misfit Maiden
- Shady O'Dread

Dagger Dolls:
- Buffy the Vampire Skater
- Miss Fire
- Shiv and Let Die
- Sweet Justice

Garda Belts:
- Little Tornado
- Rolls Wilder

- Dudezilla

- Rocky Whorer
- Glam Slam

But we've got a few players who will be rejoining from years past.  Soylent Mean returns to her beloved Rockits, while savvy track veteran CleoSPLATra will don the orange and green for the Atomic Bombshells.

But there's more, MNRG fans!  We have another transfer from out of our league to announce:  in addition to the Garda Belts' excellent import from Jet City (Beth Anne Destruction), we are happy to tell you that jammer/pivot Juke Boxx has joined us from the Dairyland Dolls of Madison, WI.  

We last saw Juke Boxx at the Brawl of America as she and the Double-Ds fought their way to second in North-Central regionals.  Since she joined us after the finals, she will be drafted like any new recruit in August...but in the meantime, Juke has been added to the All-Star team for 2010 regionals in Green Bay.

Speaking of the All-Stars?  Want to see them this summer as they gear up for the push to regionals?  Keep your eyes here for all of the details, but here's the schedule for the next several travel bouts.  Attached to each name is their current WFTDA ranking - by comparison, we are currently ranked 7th in the Northern region:

5/22 Pike's Peak (11th place in the West)
5/23 Fort Collins (closed scrimmage with a new Western team)
6/19 Paper Valley (WFTDA apprentice league)
6/26 East Coast Derby Extravaganza tournament: Tampa (7th place in the South)
6/27 East Coast Derby Extravaganza tournament: Providence (7th place in the East)
8/21 Sacramento (9th in the West)

Whether via Facebook, our Twitter feed (@MNRG), the MNRG news blog, or the MNRG website, you can keep track of all of the news about how our travel team, the MNRG All-Stars, progress through the summer.  

We've got more news.  Your All-Stars already had their very first bout of the 2010 season against a young team from Wisconsin, the La Crosse Skating Sirens.  We defeated them 288-33 and, to our fans that have followed us over the years, that may not be surprising.  The La Crosse team played their hearts out, but they do not yet have the experience to take control of the track like our All-Stars do.  They still were playing woman-to-woman defense...and though their hits were hard, they didn't yet have the ability to bypass the monster packs that our squad builds each and every jam.

What's most fantastic about this result is that we had the opportunity to see some of newest All-Stars have a chance to don our uniforms.  Cassie Rolle, Patently Offensive, Killaman Jaro, Jocelyn D'Jewels, Anita Spankston, and Skullateral Damage - all All-Star rookies - played many, many jams against our friends across the border and helped give us the win.  Congratulations to them all.

Finally...the last news of the night.  New captains and all of the last-minute transfers.  Four players switched colors last week, and we want to give you the official word on it all.  This is running a bit long, we know, so let's leave you with this.  Fans...thank you so much for supporting us this year.  We cannot wait for the new season to begin.

Captains for the 2010-2011 season:

Atomic Bombshells:
Venus Thightrap
Diamond Rough

Dagger Dolls:
Psycho Novia

Garda Belts:
Citizen Pain
Anita Spankston

Scarmen Hellectra
Pain Gretzky

Umpire Strikes Back
Wernher von Bombed

Patently Offensive transfers from the Dagger Dolls to the Rockits.
Hanna Belle Lector, Angelfire, and Tiki Torture transfer from the Garda Belts to the Dagger Dolls.

See you in October.

-Garrison Killer

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Wheelies

It's Wheelies time! Every year our players, refs, and volunteers travel to an undisclosed location, crack open a PBR (and maybe sneak in a flask or two), and honor the best of our best for two hours of tears, cheers, and fairly awesome dresses. On May 1st we honored the following players:

Fan Awards:
Favorite Jammer - Suzie Smashbox
Favorite Pivot/Blocker - Vuedoo Prodigy
Favorite Rookie - Killaman Jaro
The Lappy - Vuedoo Prodigy

League Awards:
Most Valuable Minnesota RollerGirl - Vuedoo Prodigy
Rookie of the Year - Killaman Jaro
Head Trauma (MNRG founder) Legacy Award - Rumblebee
Most Improved - Cassie Rolle
Hardest Hitter - Vuedoo Prodigy
Speed Demon - L'exi-cuter
Best Attitude - Mitzi Massacre and Citizen Pain (tie)
Purple Heart - BOOMbay Safire
Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking - Abbie Mischief
PBR RollerGirl of Honor - Scootaloo
Most Charitable - Skullateral Damage
The Towelie - Mitzi Massacre
Volunteer Lover - Skullateral Damage
The Golden Supporter (volunteer of the year) - Apron and Garrison Killer (tie)

Team Awards - Atomic Bombshells:
Rookie of the Year - Double D. Fense
Team Spirit - BOOMbay Safire
Team Most Valuable Skater - Diamond Rough

Team Awards - Dagger Dolls:
Rookie of the Year - Killaman Jaro
Team Spirit - Gogo Galore
Team Most Valuable Skater - Shiver Me Kimbers

Team Awards - Garda Belts:

Rookie of the Year - Cassie Rolle
Team Spirit - Anita Spankston
Team Most Valuable Skater - Tiki Torture

Team Awards - Rockits:

Rookie of the Year - Wanda Wreckonwith
Team Spirit - Frau Scientits
Team Most Valuable Skater - Harmony Killerbruise

Team-Created Awards:
Atomic Bombshells' "You make a better window than a door" for cheerful and awesome door opening - Crush with Eyeliner
Dagger Dolls' "The Frank Lloyd Wright* (keeps popping up wherever derby is)" award- Wet Spot
Garda Belts' "The Boner Award" for pointy elbows and shoulders - Abbie Mischief
Rockits' "Octopussy Award" for most likely to give you a hug in the middle of a jam - Tara Skatesov
*The Dagger Dolls, who love fun, were playing Apples to Apples and the Frank Lloyd Wright card kept popping up!

Best Attendence:
Diamond Rough (Atomic Bombshells), Umpire Strikes Back (referee), and Wernher von Bombed (referee) tied for most practices with 66 each.
Dagger Dolls - Ova Achieva with 64
Rockits - Ice Pack with 61
Garda Belts - Anita Spankston with 54

Stats Awards:
Best Jammer - Harmony Killerbruise
Best Blocker - Tiki Torture
Best Pivot - Coochie Coup
Best Assister - Diamond Rough

Referee Awards:
Sugar - n Spice: Tiki Torture
Not so nice: Harmony Killerbruise

Buffy the Vampire Skater
Honeydew Felon
Misfit Maiden
Pain Gretzky
Rolls Wilder
Scarmen Hellectra
Trixie Whipsum