Minnesota takes on Sioux Falls; Forces of Evil go for 5-0

December in Minnesota.  The weather is bitterly cold, the music is disturbingly festive, and your Minnesota RollerGirls are preparing for the home season.  But before the Roy can be decked with red, green, pink, and orange, we have one last holiday treat for you.  This Saturday, the Minnesota All-Stars have invited the fightin' Roller Dollz of Sioux Falls to challenge us on our home track.  And while the women in blue take on the Dakotans, our final league mixer of the season brings one last battle of good versus evil.  Yes, titans will tussle as the Superheroes take on the Supervillains!  Keep reading, true believer, for all the details...

The Sioux Falls Rollerdollz are no young, fresh league with no idea what they're getting into.  Members of the Dollz have been attending MNRG bouts since 2006 - in fact, you've probably sat next to them on the sidelines.  Sioux Falls currently rolls with about twenty active players, so there's no four-team home season for them.  Instead, the Rollerdollz play against road teams like our Minnesota All-Stars or our recent rivals, the Hammer City Eh! Team.  In terms of WFTDA ranking, the Dollz are 14th in the North Central region (the MNRG are 9th).  That ranking may not stand for much longer; Sioux Falls just handily defeated the Naptown RollerGirls (ranked 12th) in October, 96-59.

The Rollerdollz are fully cognizant of modern derby tactics; they can change up speed, they understand the 20-foot rule, they even wall up.  Most intriguing is that the Rollerdollz seem to do a lot of jammer/pack coordination.  Many packs like to attack the opposing jammer; the Dollz seem to depend on their jammers' - particularly speedster Queen Elizabitch - speed to the front and therefore run heavy interference.  Now, that can work really well; if their jammers can beat their opponents, they'll take small drops of points over big blowout jams.  Most of their jammers seem to have some track presence as well; they call off jams just as their opponents re-engage.

Who will your MNRG All-Stars be putting up against Sioux Falls?  You'll see a little change-up to the roster for this bout; four players are being added.  Scarmen Hellectra, Coochie Coup, Citizen Pain, and Jax Kvaas will be sitting this one out.  In their place? Co-captain Mitzi Massacre returns, as does Abbie Mischief and Killahertz.  Of special note is Tara Skatesov of the Atomic Bombshells, making her All-Star debut. (see the bottom of the article for full lineups.)  

Here's what you want to watch for:

- The MNRG speedsters on fire.  If Sioux Falls likes racing, they'll get to go up against some of our best.  Suzie Smashbox, Harmony Killerbruise, Psycho Novia, and Lexi Cuter all had double-digit games against Hammer City.  Harmony alone scored sixty-three.  

- Rapid jams.  The MNRG All-Stars like to play at a quick pace; grab the lead, score some points, call off the jam.  We played 37 jams against Hammer City in an hour.  That's maybe a minute a jam when you factor in the reset between each jam.  Our players are moving in and out FAST.

- Pairing up.  If you haven't yet watched closely, start looking for our pack to make roving walls that either hold back opponents or pinch jammers and blockers to the sides, cracking the opposing pack with delay tactics.  In the sport of roller derby, a two-or-three person wall in formation can cause far more chaos than three single players.

- Jammers a-go-go.  Of the fourteen we are putting forward, only one - MNRG bouncer Diamond Rough - has not jammed in a public bout.  The team that Coach Dantigravity has chosen is heavy in jammer experience, so expect to see a wide array of players wearing the star.

This should be fun, folks.  Sioux Falls has been scouting us for three years now, and we're the most-highly ranked team that they've played since joining WFTDA.  They lost a squeaker against the Ohio Roller Girls (ranked 11th in the North Central); we're in their sights.  Come and see what they've got for us.

To round out the All-Star bout, we'll also be having one last league mixer.  Odd though it may sound, the Forces of Evil have a 4-0 record against the Forces of Good over the past two years of mixers, and we've got another fun one coming.  Can the Supervillains make it five?  You'll have to be there - complete with 'GOOD IS DUMB' signs - and find out.  Last month's mixer was a great match; the initial rookie jitters (and multiple foul problems) of October's bout was replaced with some great roller derby.  

In addition to seeing our newest crop of rookies in action, fans get a chance to see some intrateam matchups.  Unless you travel to some of our exhibitions against starting leagues, you just don't get a chance to see these rivalries in the normal season.  Here's a few that jump to the eye:

- Dagger Dolls: Candi Pain and Sweet Justice v Barbie Brawl and Sinaminn 

- Atomic Bombshells: 2009 favorite rookie Jocelyn D'Jewels v wily veteran Hell N Ready

- Rockits: vet jammer Trixie Whipsum v the remarkable Pain Gretzky

- Garda Belts: Optimiss Crime v Lola Blackenblue

What else do you need to know?  Free t-shirts to the early arrivals (get there early!), the ever-fantastic E.L.nO. playing us through halftime, and the Station 4 afterparty.  Doors open at 6:30pm or shortly before. Bouts begin at 7:30pm.  And need I remind you...SUPERHEROES ON SKATES.  Nuff said?

Excelsior,

-Garrison Killer

Sioux Falls Rollerdollz

C - Pain Maker
A - Betsy Wrecksie
Applicious
Dazzer
Dusty Bibles
Fully OZomatic

Hollicidal Maniac
Julia Wild
Lady Biohazard
Lilly KillKill
Ltl Wicked
N. Nita Meds
Queen Elizabitch
Red Thunder

Minnesota RollerGirls All-Stars

C - Suzie Smashbox
A - Mitzi Massacre
Abbie Mischief
Diamond Rough
Harmony Killerbruise
Honeydew Felon
Killahertz
Lexi Cuter
Misfit Maiden
Psycho Novia
Tara Skatesov
Tiki Torture
Venus Thightrap
Vuedoo Prodigy

Super Heroes
Buffy the Vampire Skater #20
Candi Pain #666
DamnzelSly #46
DieAnne Isis #49
Double D. Fense #38
Gogo Galore #14
Ice Pack #45
Jocelyn D' Jewels #88
Killaman Jaro #9
Lola Blackenblue #32
Lydia Punch #789
MeshugEnough #54
Norwegian Mafia #24
Ova Achieva #711
Punish-mint Patty #100
Rollercat #17
Shiver Me Kimbers #667
Supersonik! #7of9
Sweet Justice #i4ni
Trixie Whipsum #6
Wonderbroad #36C

Super Villains
AliSin Chains #286
Barbie Brawl #007
BOOMbay Safire #976
Cookies 'n Scream #525
Chinese Take Out #1.00
Flora Flipabitch #4
Hell N Ready #II
Konceal'N Kari #945
Little Tornado #511
Norah Torious #76
Optimiss Crime #0110
Pain Gretzky #1337
Patently Offensive #281
Shiv & Let Die #67
Sinaminn #977
Shady O'Dread #47
Skullateral Damage #74
Stacy Wreckt #240
Trinity Knox #8
Wanda Wreckonwith #80