Atomic Bombshells go hot for the championship, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells defeated the Rockits in a thriller of a game - a Rockitbuster, if you will - on April 3rd at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium.   The Bombshells played their strategy to their utmost, summoning every resource they could muster to send their jammer to the front.  And though it seemed as if penalties in the pack might end their hopes to hold the Golden Skate high, the Bombshells emerged triumphant.

Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead for the Rockits, but Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap forced her to call the jam by bypassing on the sprint to the back of the pack. L'exi-cuter, recharged from last month's break, found a way around Rockit blocker Scarmen Hellectra up front (who went to the box off an illegal hit), took the lead, and charged ahead for the first three points of the game. The Bombshells' Mae Gusta tore up the concrete for another lead amidst a light Rockit pack. Mae came back around for her first scoring pass, looked back, and found Harmony Killerbruise a breath behind her.  Mae called off the jam. 3-0 Bombshells.

Venus Thightrap took the lead via a gaping hole on the inside of the Rockit defense.  As she wound up for the lapping sprint, she found herself practically alone on the track; Rockit jammer Vuedoo Prodigy had gone to the penalty box along with two of her blockers.  Venus scrambled to take advantage for eight points, then called off the jam as a stone-faced Honeydew Felon knocked her to the ground. L'exi-cuter scored four against a boxed Vuedoo, but Vue put her Rockits on the board as she lanced past Flora Flipabitch to pace L'exi and score a single point. The Bombshells scored their fifth consecutive lead jam as Mae clawed past the aggressively lanky Killahertz and Scarmen Hellectra. However, Abbie Mischief actually scored more (4-2) on the jam. Harmony cut off the lead jam streak as she and L'exi went 2 and 2. 19-7, Bombshells ahead.

If the Bombshells were showing poise up to this point, they suddenly took a pratfall as Vue sped through to grab the next lead. Vue started her scoring run, and her opponent found herself in Vue's position from a couple of jams previous; heading to the box with additional Bombshells quickly in tow. The chairs in the penalty area filled with orange-wearing players, so many that at least one had to be waved off. Vue sprang through a decimated pack and grabbed fourteen. Finding a sweet inside line and beating on the wilted Bombshell pack, Harmony Killerbruise took the lead, scored nine, and gave the Rockits their first of many lead changes through the evening. 30-22 Rockits with six minutes remaining in the half.

Rockit veteran Scarmen Hellectra accelerated past Bombshell blocker Jocelyn D'Jewels to take the next lead. Mae Gusta camped in the back of the pack to deny Scar's path into the pack for the scoring run, but Rockit rookie Konceal'N Kari peeled off Mae to give her scorer a clear line to score five unanswered points. Two jams later, L'exi-cuter closed up the gap with three points as the Rockits miscued a pack destruction, giving L'exi safe passage and sending Scarmen to the box as part of the Rockits' illegal maneuver. Two jams after that, L'exi took advantage of Skullateral Damage's delay of opposing jammer Vuedoo Prodigy to take four more. At the half, the Bombshells had closed the gap to seven. 36-29 Rockits.

At the halfway point, the Rockits and Bombshells were both playing a fast pace, making few mistakes.  The match-up was tight; even the power jams seemed to mirror one another.  The Rockits were finding ways to capitalize on Bombshell mistakes, but the Bombshells weren't making many at this point.

Venus Thightrap took the second half's first lead jam amidst heavy strafing from opposing jammer Harmony Killerbruise. Once Venus broke through that pack, the Rockits sped up to delay the Bombshells' scoring run. Venus scored four, but Harmony caught up enough to steal one point. The Bombshells, showing an ability to play at the Rockits' fast pace, took the next lead as L'exi threaded a space not much wider than a dictionary on the turn. No points for either team. Mae Gusta grabbed the next lead for no points as the Bombshells kept playing to their strength: putting the jammer to the front above all else, even at the expense of their blockers going to the box.

With two Bombshells in the box and against a full pack of Rizzo, Abbie Mischief, Icepack, and Scarmen, L'exi-cuter had difficulty getting through for her team. Opposing jammer Vuedoo Prodigy came up aside, and L'exi tried to send her out. No such luck; Vue took the lead and scored three before heading to the box for back-blocking. L'exi shot through the pack on her first lap for a grand slam. 40-38 Rockits, thirteen to play.

With Vuedoo Prodigy still in the box for the Rockits, Venus sped through the pack unopposed for the Bombshell's fourth lead jam in the half. The Rockits seemed eager to speed up the pace, but the Bombshells skated steadily to catch the Reds ahead of the pack. Venus scored a double slam and the Atomic Bombshells went up by eight. Harmony knocked down the lead with the Rockits' first lead jam of the half and called off the jam after scoring three. Rockits called a timeout with ten left to play, 48-43 Bombshells ahead.

As play resumed, Vuedoo Prodigy jumped through danger, broke past a thin Bombshell pack, but did not take lead. Lagging just behind, Mae found her way through legally and called off the jam. By this time, the Bombshells were in serious foul trouble as orange blockers flew into the penalty box in ones and twos.  The Rockits took advantage of this and camped on Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap in the next jam, delaying her long enough for Harmony Killerbruise to take the lead and bring the score to a tie, 49-49. The Rockits, led by Killahertz, did precisely the same job on Mae as Harmony took her second lead in two jams and scored nine unanswered points. The Rockits took their final timeout, presumably to plan their final set of jams.

Vue poodled herself into the penalty box as a blocker to clear out her minor penalties, and Scarmen went to the line for the Rockits against L'exi-cuter. L'exi started to attack Scar in the pack, but like Vuedoo, Scarmen stayed up. However, she skated into Jocelyn D'Jewels from behind and knocked her down. The refs sent her out, L'exi got the lead, and started sprinting out her power jam. Outrunning opposition at every turn, L'exi was assisted by her blockers slow-pack trapping Trixie Whipsum in the back. In all, L'exi scored nineteen points...almost a quadruple slam! With a lead shift and time running out, Venus Thightrap outskated the Rockit pack for the next lead against Harmony, and scored three before getting nailed by six-year Rockit veteran Pain Gretzky. 71-58 with two remaining.

Vue jammed against Mae Gusta, took the lead, and scored...but at the conclusion of the jam, the refs called for a timeout. Venus Thightrap stepped to the line as the referees conferred; it seemed that a back block had been called on the Rockits jammer, but the hand signal had not been seen by Vuedoo. After much consternation, Vuedoo was sent to the box, her points stripped. Venus almost fell over in shock and joy; only 1:19 remained on the clock, and if she could pull the lead, the game was practically over. Venus wound her way through the pack, and took that last lead. However, not wishing to take her last jam in safety, she charged right through the pack again, scoring five as Vuedoo returned from the box.

Just as regulation ended, Venus turned, saw the clock, and put her hands to her hips. In that motion, she completed the Bombshells' undefeated season. The Atomic Bombshells began the fifth season as a team of rookies and veterans open to new ways of play.  They won only two games in 2009.  Many of those players took no summer break and entered into a difficult All-Star season ready to learn.  Some never played as an All-Star, but they came out of the experience as a pack capable of taking on all comers.  That drive gave them the Golden Skate and a winning streak that now stands at six...only three away from the Rockit record.

Final score: 78-58.  Congratulations to the Bombshells, our 2010 champions.  Keep coming back to the MNRG website for updates on the upcoming All-Star break, as well as all the news on Season 7.  Ladies and gentlemen, we will see you in October.  

ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts

ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts

Reporting from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,

-Garrison Killer

BOMBS AWAY; Gardas finish third. (recaplet)

Bombshells take the Title, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells skated their way to MNRG history on April 3rd, defeating the two-time defending champion Rockits and finishing the home season undefeated. The Bombshells started well, scoring eleven unanswered points in the first four jams. At the halfway mark, the Rockits had at last started to get their line-grinding defense to start sending opponents to the box and getting points on the board, but the Bombshells still outscored them. 19-7 Bombshells with ten to go.

The scoring tide came in for the Rockits the very next jam as Vuedoo Prodigy busted free for the Rockits and scored fourteen points on a power jam (and changing the lead) as Venus Thightrap languished in the box. Harmony Killerbruise, then Scarmen Hellectra followed up for another fourteen unanswered points as the Bombshells tried to recover from penalty troubles accrued during the power jam (35-22 Rockits). However, the Atomic Bombshells reasserted their coordinated defense and held the Rockits all but scoreless in the last five minutes. At the half, the Rockits up 36-29.

The Rockits took control of the pace of the second half, using their superior speed control to tear apart the Bombshell pack. The Bombshell defense depends on play-calling and syncronized defense, so by stringing out the pack the Rockits attempted to hamstring their opponents. However, the Bombshells have done everything possible to get their jammer to the front this year. It's their primary strategy, and though it cost the Bombshells in defense (they started half of the jams two blockers short), but they kept the game tight by continuing that trend.

After several lead changes in the half, the turn of the game occurred as L'exi-cuter scored 19 points on the power jam with eight minutes to go. Lead change; Bombshells up 68-58. Suddenly, it was the Rockits who needed to start attacking more strongly, but the Bombshells controlled the clock to the end. A final Rockit jammer penalty sealed the deal for the Bombshells. With one last victory slam by Bombshell standard-bearer Venus Thightrap, the Roy's faithful rose, crowning the undefeated Atomic Bombshells champions as time expired, 78-58.


ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter (6-10) 40 pts
55 Venus Thightrap (5-10) 34 pts
456 Mae Gusta (3-7) 4 pts

ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise (8-12) 27 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy (3-11) 22 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra (1-2) 5 pts
318 Abbie Mischief (0-2) 4 pts


Gardas outplay Dagger Dolls for third place

In this 3rd-place bout, the Gardas took the lead and never looked back. Garda Belt jammers took the first seven jams, led by captain and jammer Suzie Smashbox (who went a mind-blowing 12-for-13 lead jams in the bout). At the ten-minute mark, the Gardas were up 24-3.

Sparkle Ninja took the first of three lead jams for the Dagger Dolls in the half, but it was Psycho Novia and Buffy the Vampire Skater (scoring fourteen unanswered points over two jams) that kept the Dollys from falling further behind. Otherwise, the Garda defense dominated the track, led by no less than six veteran Gardas stopping Dollys from advancing on every turn. 43-21 Gardas at the half.

The Gardas widened the gap at the start of the second half, scoring eleven unanswered points in its first eight minutes, though the MNRG audience cheered as Dagger Doll Psycho Novia charged in for thirteen as her teammate Wonderbroad contained Garda Cassie Rolle for two minutes. 52-34 Garda Belts.

The Garda blockers laid into the Dolly scorers from that point. Psycho did not score again in the game, and her fellow Dolly jammers scored only eleven more. The game ended oddly. Long-time veteran Rumblebee donned the star for the final jam of the game. However, the jam ended prematurely as Dagger Doll Sparkle Ninja dragged her down from behind and jumped on her swinging. The refs pulled Sparkle off and sent her out, but a mistimed clock start brought about the end of regulation. Both teams appealed and the Roy crowd loudly requested one more jam. The refs called for a new jam clock and three seconds on the board, and so 'Bee took her place at the line again and took lead, scoring four for her beloved team. Gardas take third, 74-45.

GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox (12-13) 46 pts
c² Angelfire (4-6) 14 pts
350 Cassie Rolle (5-6) 10 pts
4x4 Rumblebee (1-2) 4 pts
H8U Tiki Torture (0-1) 0 pts

DAGGER DOLLS
109 Psycho Novia (1-9) 22 pts
281 Patently Offensive (2-5) 9 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater (0-2) 6 pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja (1-2) 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro (0-10) 4 pts

For the full recap of these tremendous bouts, keep watching this space - Garrison Killer is out for a week in beautiful (but damp) Seattle visiting family. Expect the rundown next week.


What a season. Congratulations to the Atomic Bombshells for a tremendous run!

Preview for Hometeam Championship 2010 pt 2

Countdown to The Bone of Contention

Third-place bout preview
Garrison Killer, League reporter

We explored the ins and outs of the April 3rd MNRG season championship in the previous article.  Now our attention turns to the Garda Belts and the Dagger Dolls, who will fight it out for third place.

In 2009, I wrote that the Dagger Dolls were in the midst of a pregnant pause. That pause has now lengthened into a multi-year slump that has puzzled players, refs, and fans alike.  Candi Pain and Sweet Justice, co-captains of the Dollys, selected fast, eager jammers to fill the holes left by a swath of last year's retirees and blockers that have already proven themselves to cause some panic in the pack.  The Dolls have had fresh injections of strong, fast talent each year...but they have not yet been able to focus that energy into the team at large on bout nights.  They have lost their last ten games, and you must believe that they want to finish this season on a win.

The Garda Belts' record over the past two years has been more storied.  They strode into last year's finals off of strong performances by their captains Suzie Smashbox and Citizen Pain as well as a pack of veteran players whose skills had been honed by all-star play.  The Rockits pushed back and took the win. Since that bout, the Gardas have only scored one victory.  Considering that victory was against the Dagger Dolls (59-50), we should ask whether this match will simply be a repeat performance of that narrow win.  

Before you answer that question, there is one big problem that will play a big part in this matchup.  This season has been absolutely brutal to the Garda Belt roster.  While Angelfire may have returned to the active list, we have lost rookie AliSin Chains to Chicago.  A few Gardas are playing injured, and we just received word that Damnzelsly - a new, strong blocker with the brains to be where the action is - has been taken from the roster due to a serious leg injury.  Rita Rawkus and Savage Animal have sat out the entire season due to leg problems.  In addition, several players have had to miss bouts due to obligations outside of the derby; remember - the MNRG is a volunteer organization.  Women play for the love of the sport, but sometimes life gets in the way.  The Gardas may be playing a smallish core of vets along with rookies Stacy Wrekt and Cassie Rolle.  The women in green will probably have a very short roster.

That said, let's talk about what we hope to see in the 3rd place bout:

* Cleaner jams from the Dollys.  In January's bout between these two teams, the Dollys kept a far better head about jams without penalties than we saw against the Rockits.  As the season has progressed, two new jammers - Killamon Jaro and Patently Offensive - have begun to show ability to stay out of trouble.  As always, the problem of players in penalty trouble is that playing at the jammer line risks ceding a power jam to the opposing team.  The Dollys must score and keep on the track for them to break the losing streak.

* More jamming from the rookies on both sides.  The Dollys drafted in some of the fastest, brightest players from this season's class of new blood.  They've been playing MNRG roller derby for almost a full year, and this may be the time to let them loose.  All of them will still need a hand for their initial pass through the pack...but what jammer doesn't?  Meanwhile, keep your eye on Cassie Rolle of the Garda Belts.  Coach Seamonster and the Garda captains have slowly been opening the lid on this agile rookie all season.  She's been training as a pure jammer and the use of her as a scorer instead of Citizen Pain or Tiki Torture will keep the front of the pack strong by keeping their fast blockers chasing Dollys.  These players are the future of their respective teams; it's time for them to claim their spot.

* Suzie freakin' Smashbox.  How long have we been talking about this fluid, Green jammer?  Since season 3, Garda captain Suzie has been tearing up the track and every team that has been victorious against the Gardas has had to come up with a strategy for dealing with her.  The Bombshells played the same pack of power blockers against her almost every jam, while the Rockits boxed up her trailblazers through the pack (Tiki Torture and Hanna Belle Lector).  Suzie has consistently scored the lioness' share of Garda points; the Dollys must find ways to close down that powerful, sprinting stride.

* Smart, modern derby.  Just because these two teams have had one victory lap between them throughout the season doesn't mean they're oblivious to how the game is played.  The problem is execution.  Both teams are ready to showcase their skill for the Roy audience.  The Dolls?  They're finding ways to block out defenders and move their jammer through more quickly.  If you use strong hitters like Sparkle Ninja, Wonderbroad, Buffy, and Sinnamin, the Dollys could have walls in the back that will delay Gardas for precious seconds...or even the whole jam.  The Garda Belts' absolutely relentless recycling of the pack (particularly speed-skating heavies Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture) has been very effective - and Green players able to expand that strategy will make it that much more difficult for Dolly jammers.

This bout may also come down to a race.  The Garda Belts play a slightly faster game than the Dagger Dolls.  If the Gardas are given the ability to speed up the pack or to change up the pace, the Dolly defense could fall afoul of penalties as they try to hit, maneuver, and block at speed.  

In terms of numbers, the loss of so many Gardas over this season means more players in Green will be skating many, many jams.  Nothing kills a clean hit like exhaustion, and the refs will be watching.  Conversely, some have mentioned the large Dagger Doll roster as a point of weakness; oft-recycled players don't get as many chances to coalesce.

Two final roster notes: the Gardas have received a freshly-minted player from the derby-crazy Pacific Northwest.  Folks, please welcome BethAnne Destruction, a former Jet City Rollergirls player, to the Garda Belts.  Sadly, Dagger Doll blocker Shiv & Let Die will not be on the track on Saturday; she's been playing injured recently and will not be part of the final bout.  Shiv, get well quickly; the MNRG's 7th home season begins in October...and we want to see you in the pack.

That's it.  All he wrote.  Now, get those tickets.  There are a little over a thousand left at the time of this writing, only available now through Ticketmaster and the Roy box office.  First two hundred at the door on April 3rd will get get a free bout t-shirt, and let me tell you, folks...this one's gorgeous.  Get in line early, pick up your t-shirt, take your seat, and join us as we conclude the sixth season of the Minnesota RollerGirls.


Writing from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer

Preview for Hometeam Championship 2010 pt 1

Countdown to The Bone of Contention


Hometeam Championship preview
Garrison Killer, League reporter


The Minnesota RollerGirls conclude their sixth historic season at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium on April 3, 2010. Like every other bout this season, we will bring you two matches of intense, edge-of-the-seat action...but our season's end is special. Our top two home teams will play for the opportunity to raise the Golden Skate - our championship trophy - on the track of the Roy. Our other two teams will compete for the honor of third place.

The language of sport is hyperbole. We speak of the greatest, the fastest, the strongest, the most clever. In the three years that I've written about the MNRG, I've shoehorned more than my share of adverbs into my commentaries. But I will tell you with utmost confidence that these matches will be the hardest-fought that you have yet seen in the Roy. Let's take a look at the first matchup so that you may judge for yourselves.

The Championship Bout - The Atomic Bombshells (3-0) v The Rockits (2-1)

Three years ago, the Atomic Bombshells brought together some of the very best players from across the league and went from last to first in a single season. They defeated the Rockits in the finals and claimed the championship in April of 2007. In the two seasons since, the Rockits have won the championship...first against the Dagger Dolls in the finals of 2008, then the Garda Belts in 09. In fact, the Rockits were not defeated a single time in the intervening years.

The red Rockits now must defend their title against the only team that has beaten them in the season championship. But while the legacy of the Bombshells during the finals of 2007 is written upon the Golden Skate, the orange-wearing ABS has far more recently defeated the Rockits. It was only in January that Misfit Maiden and Mitzi Massacre - co-captains and veterans of the '07 team - shocked the MNRG by breaking the Rockits' two-year streak, coming from behind and winning by two (78-76). The two teams now return to the track to play for the Golden Skate.

So...is there a little history between these teams? Yes...yes, there is.

Now, The Bombshells are undefeated this year - each bout won by 25 or fewer points. Victory for the Bombshells doesn't come from an onslaught of point-scoring; it comes from their defensive line making plays as offense. Don't believe me? If you look at the stats, the three top jammers for the team get lead at least 60% of the time (L'exi Cuter got it 78% of the time - 100% against the Rockits in their last meeting). While Mae and Venus and L'exi are all very, very good jammers, it's the way that their pack holds together and pushes them through that gets the lauds.

When the Bombshells get the jam, they control the one precious commodity in roller derby - the jam clock. A jam goes for two minutes...or whenever the lead jammer says it's time to stop. If you have the lead, you can score,  call off the jam and zero the jam clock before the opposing player can make a point. By holding the clock, the Bombshells have controlled the pace of the game all this season. It's an outrageous record; Bombshells controlled the jam almost two-thirds of every game.

Their opponents - the Rockits - have their own brand of derby play. Two strategies have unfolded from this year's play...they're almost polar opposites, but they've been effective:
*Hit out or trap players furthest in back - these are usually rookies or players that have recently fallen to a hit. If an opposing player goes down, that's one less player to have to pass for the jammer coming careening around. If a player is trapped, the Rockits can box up the player, hit the brakes, and form a pack...usually putting the opposition's other players far in front of that pack. A player twenty feet ahead of the pack cannot engage a jammer (making them completely uneffective as blockers), but there's an added risk. If the player turns around and skates back into the pack and makes contact with an opposing player, that's a penalty; it's called 'skating clockwise to block' and will generally have a player sent to the box. Crazy stuff, but very clever, and something of a tactical coup.
*Attack the strongest player on the team, whether blocker, pivot, or jammer. This sounds a little counterintuitive; here's an example to clarify. In Garda Belts v Rockits in February, a number of the women in red started to lay into Tiki Torture and Hanna Belle Lector instead of the jammer. Why? Well, in that game, Tiki and Hanna were making roads for their scorers to skate down. By neutralizing the trailblazer, the Rockits made it more difficult for the opposing jammer to make it through the pack. The Rockits seem to find the linchpin of each line of five and go after them, while still helping their own jammer through.

One other thing the Rockits do: they score a lot of points. 40% of the points scored in MNRG home games have been scored by the Rockits. A lot of those points are scored off of power jams created by Rockit blockers catching opposing jammers with track-cutting penalties or other illegal procedures. Double and triple-slams (10 or 15-point jams) get scored by almost every Rockit jammer in more than a few jams, due those penalty-box visits by opposing jammers.

If you've gotten this far in reading the preview, you're probably looking for some sort of take on who will come out of this triumphant. Since I'm fresh out of omens, I can only tell you what you might want to watch for.


Fans should look for the following from the Atomic Bombshells:
* They've done it all season, they just have to do it for forty more minutes. Open those lines for their jammers...get them to the front first so they can control the clock.
* If they get a power jam, they might consider flying through the pack. Bombshells rarely take full advantage of point-scoring opportunities when an opposing jammer heads to the box. Instead, they would rather call off a jam when a secondary jammer is in the box. Mae Gusta, Venus Thightrap, and Jocelyn D'Jewels all did a superlative job of messing with Suzie by holding jammers that were not scoring well in the box. This kept Suzie out of play. That is not going to work with most of the players that the Rockits will put on the jammer line. Harmony, Scarmen Hellectra, Abbie Mischief, and Vuedoo Prodigy have the numbers to prove that they are all going to be threats. Instead, the Bombshells might want to knock a Rockit down or out of play as an easy point for their unopposed jammer and keep them lapping the pack.
* If their own jammer gets sent to the box...the Bombshells must contain their cool. The only double-digit jams scored by the Rockits on the Bombshells in their initial meeting happened during a power jam. The women in orange turned the aggressive hitting to eleven and got sent to the box off of their illegal hits. 35 points scored over two jams, mostly because the jammer had almost no one that they had to pass who was actually skating and blocking. The Bombshell team can smoosh opponents with explosive blocking, but only if they're on the track instead of on their way to the penalty box.

Rockit fans, your guide follows:
* The Rockits must not relinquish the lead jammer position. They landed leads in the January bout against the Bombshells only six times in twenty-four jams. A team can't win on the backs of that record; the women in red must win the race to the front of the pack.
* A pack with fewer Bombshells = point gains. Now, this is always true; more players up and skating for a team is generally a Good Thing...but it has special meaning for the Bombshells. The Bombshells play best when they can make plays as a team; they tend to be coordinated and ready to jump into a new formation or explode a pack. The fewer the players up and skating, the less well they can execute. If the Rockits can go after a two-person unit just before the Bombshell jammer starts attempting a scoring pass, they'll screw the jammer's progress and whatever the team was planning for that pass.
* Expect fast Rockits and slow Rockits. The Rockits have dynamic speed; they can slow a pack in a heartbeat to trap an unwary blocker or start racing to avoid any but the fastest jammers. If the speed of the pack is being controlled by a pack of Rockits (in front and sprinting or in back and barely moving forward), the Atomic Bombshells will be playing right into the Rockits' hands.


Too much spectacular play has built up to this moment to accurately handicap this matchup. The only solution is to be there as the countdown runs out and this pitched battle begins for the Golden Skate.


Check back soon as we look at the Garda Belt/Dagger Doll matchup.

Production note for Fourth Eskate readers.

The missus and I will be heading to Rat City the day after the MNRG championship bout (no, we're not moving...).  You may expect a recaplet that will be posted at the website (and for DNN) by Sunday, followed by the usual full-up analysis sometime over the following week.

I may write the recaplet somewhere in the Roy before heading to Station 4, as a matter of fact.

Rockits triumph over Dolls, 129-37

At this point in the history of the Minnesota RollerGirls, no one expects a player to take a swipe at a rival.  Fights are basically stories that old-timers tell the rookies about from the first couple of seasons.  Still...there is rivalry in the MNRG, and no two teams have a more tempestuous one than the Dagger Dolls and the Rockits.  The two teams have a different (if equally passionate) outlook on our sport; the Rockits tend to embrace the new, interleague road-warrior style of play, while the Dollys' core seems to rest in taking the classic big blocks with fast, fast jammers.  In past years, these differences have manifested themselves in unusual ways. This year, the match was the thing, and the teams left it on the floor of the Roy.

Dolly jammer Psycho Novia broke out in the first jam past the Rockit defense and started to lap the pack.  However, Rockit scorer Harmony Killerbruise picked her way through the pack, got the lead, and called off the jam before Psycho could score.  Killamon Jaro, a rookie for the Dolls, donned the jammer star against Rockit veteran Scarmen Hellectra.  Killamon, with her long stride and lateral control, bent around an attempt by Scarmen to knock her back and took the lead.  Scarmen found herself in a flurry of Dagger Dolls and got lapped for five by Jaro.

Jaro's run showed the potential speed of the Dolly jammer squad, but this would be the Dolls' last opportunity to score for twelve minutes.  Over the next five jams, four Dolly jammers went to the penalty box along with four other Dolls in the defensive line.  The Rockits took a commanding lead with the ensuing power jams, going on a 42-point tear completely unanswerable by the Dolls.  The Rockits also called on their slow-pack defense, trapp ing a Dolly blocker in their midst and braking fast.  This allowed jammers to break through the pack at a sudden standstill.  Still, the Rockits had to work for those points.  On Abbie Mischief's second lap through a Rockit-formed slowpack, Sinaminn jumped into Abbie's way from a dead stop and knocked her off her feet; Abbie recovered and still scored a triple slam.  Dagger Doll blocker Wonderbroad launched Vuedoo Prodigy into the air as Vue made one of her runs on a power jam, but the Rockit jammer righted herself mid-air, landed on her skates and continued on for thirteen points.  Rockits up 42-5 with seven remaining in the half.

Killamon Jaro returned to the line and flew through the pack, beating Harmony Killerbruise for the lead as Shiver Me Kimbers held the Rockit back.  Jaro scored four and got called out on track-cutting, only to be released from the box immediately - apparently a ref error.  Killamon Jaro called off the jam immediately, but not before Harmony could score four.  Scarmen Hellectra took the next lead off of an outside pass of the pack, grinning like a intergalactic despot as the refs gave her the lead jammer signal.  Sparkle Ninja followed closely behind, and each scored one.  Killamon Jaro orbited the pack for her third consecutive lead jam and took four points against two from her opponent.  49-14 Rockits with five to go.

The Rockits' wily jammer Abbie Mischief sparred against a poised Scootaloo for the Dagger Dolls.  Abbie fell into early trouble from Dolly blockers Sinaminn and Barbie Brawl, while Scootaloo got knocked through the inside of a turn.  The Doll veteran spread her arms wide and screeched to a halt before re-entering and being forced to take a penalty for track-cutting.  Meanwhile, Abbie scored four as her teammate Scarmen booty-blocked Scootaloo stride for stride to deny her exit from the pack.

Psycho Novia took her first lead of the half and scored three before Trinity Knox sent her offtrack...and with Harmony hot on Psycho's boots, the Rockits also scored three as Psycho called off the jam.  The half ended with Rockit veteran Trixie Whipsum scoring a lead against Killamon Jaro as the rookie Doll fell in behind Scarmen and Rockit captain Coochie Coup; both took a final four points.  60-21 at the half.

The monstrous 42-point streak in the middle of the first half by the Rockits turned the tide of this match quickly.  The Rockits, masters of converting the power jam, took four near-consecutive opportunities to extend the point gap and beat on the Dolls.  The Dolls also had significant penalty issues throughout the half, giving the Rockits many gaps to skate through.

The Rockits continued their march with a series of six straight lead jams, starting with Scarmen Hellectra--despite heavy blocking from Dolly Shiver Me Kimbers, but a trip to the penalty box cut short her advance.  Psycho Novia took the power jam for four.  Harmony hooked the next lead with solid blocking help from Honeydew Felon's booty scrape (a booty block moving across the track instead of directly into the player) of Sparkle Ninja and scored a double slam.  Next, Scarmen Hellectra caught her opponents looking and stole five while they tried to assist opponent Patently Offensive through the pack.  78-25 Rockits.

The Rockit streak kept going. The Reds' defense trapped Wonderbroad and Candi Pain outside the zone of engagement, sending Candi to the box when she tried to block out Rockit jammer Abbie Mischief.  Abbie double-slammed whilst the refs called Psycho Novia for track-cutting.  Through some crossed signals, Killamon Jaro was sent to the jammer line against Harmony Killerbruise despite Psycho still wearing the jammer star in the box.  The ensuing chaos allowed Harmony to score nine (Psycho scored three upon release).  And finally, Scarmen took a lead as Killamon got rocked by Rizzo just as she was about to break through the pack.  Dagger Doll Norwegian Mafia stopped the Rockit jammer in her tracks after squeezing only three unanswered points from the Dolls.  The Rockits hit the century mark with nine minutes to go. 100-29 Rockits.

Trixie Whipsum took to the jammer line next against the Dolls' Sparkle Ninja...and promptly got served a forced back block from the canny Buffy the Vampire Skater.  As Trixie headed out to the penalty box, Sparkle Ninja jinked around Pain Gretzky for the lead on the power jam.  The Rockits attempted to speed up to wear down Ninja, but Buffy started knocking around the Rockit blockers to slow them up.  The Dolly jammer scored three, and then took an unfortunate track cut across the inside turn just as the jam completed.  With Sparkle Ninja boxed, Harmony charged for nine unanswered points while Vuedoo Prodigy knocked aside anyone in her jammer's way.

Scarmen Hellectra extended the lead further with five minutes left in the game.  With the assistance of a zone trap (pulling back the Rockits so that the Dagger Doll blockers were outside the engagement zone), Scar took the lead for nine points. 118-32. Rockit rookie Icepack played against Killamon Jaro, and took her first lead jam while Trixie Whipsum launched Jaro into the trackside audience.  Icepack took three and called the jam as Doll blockers Patently Offensive and Buffy knocked her back (Jaro stole one).  Harmony ended the game with one final lead jam and eight points, with Patently hot on her heels for four.  Final score: Rockits 129 - Dolls 37.

The Rockits controlled the bulk of this game in two ways:
- They capitalized on the power jams, scoring over half of their points (66) while their jammers played unopposed.  Part of that comes from the fact that the Dolls played aggressively to stop the Rockits while their jammers cooled their heels in the box...more often than not, those same Dolls would then join their jammer in the penalty box due to illegal hits.
- They also took the majority of the lead jams (17 of 23).  Although the Rockits did not play the conservative style of years past where a Rockit would call the jam off the moment the opposing scorer came around to the back of the pack, they still had their say on when a jam would end for 70% of the game.

One historical note: the Rockits scored exactly the same number of points against the Dolls last year in March, but the Dagger Dolls tripled their own score from that match.  The Dagger Dolls are clearly better than last year's squad, and their blocking and pack play has improved a great deal from that 129-12 defeat of 2009; they recycle their players back to the front of the pack once beaten by a jammer, and their blockers gave the jammers more assistance in the Rockits match than just a whip.  What seems to be dogging the Dolls right now is the problem of penalty accrual.  With so many jams in which their scorers are out of play, it's difficult right now for them to mount a comeback.

The Dagger Dolls enter into the final bout of their season without a win and will take on the Garda Belts for third place.  The Rockits must now defend their Golden Skate against the only team that has beaten them in two years, the undefeated Atomic Bombshells.  Thermonuclear war commences in just over three weeks.  Be there for the first jam.

ROCKITS:
75 Harmony Killerbruise     (7-10) 59pts
318 Abbie Mischief     (3-3) 29pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra     (5-6) 21pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy     (0-1) 13pts
6 Trixxie Whipsum     (1-2) 4pts
45 Ice Pack     (1-1) 3pts

DAGGER DOLLS:
9 Killamon Jaro     (3-6) 19pts
109 Psycho Novia     (1-8) 10pts
1111 Sparkle Ninja     (1-5) 4pts
281 Patently Offensive     (0-3) 4pts
FU Scootaloo     (0-1) 0pts

Bombshells hold back Gardas 67-42

Saturday's match between the Atomic Bombshells and Garda Belts took an unexpected turn even before the first jam had begun.  L'exi-cuter could not make the match due to outside obligations.  As L'exi had provided half of the Bombshells' points over the past two jams, the Bombshells would have to up their defense and force principal jammers Mae Gusta and Venus Thightrap to further step up their own jamming.  Meanwhile, the Gardas looked at this match as a last shot at the season championship.  To be guaranteed a berth in the finals, they would have to defeat the Bombshells by forty-seven or more.  Certainly a possibility, but Suzie Smashbox, Cassie Rolle, and Angelfire would need to keep charging through the Bombshell pack to make it happen.

Suzie Smashbox started strong for the Gardas by taking the first lead against the Bombshells' Mae Gusta.  Mae punched into the pack, only to be stopped by Garda sweeper Tiki Torture while Suzie broke past Bombshell blockers Tara Skatesov and Diamond Rough.  Suzie scored four.  Flora Flipabitch intercepted Garda rookie jammer Cassie Rolle long enough for her teammate and jammer Venus Thightrap to break through the pack.  Cassie came up behind, but Venus signaled for a pack speed-up and accelerated past the Garda defense...leaving the rookie a quarter of a track behind with no Bombshells to pass before VTT scored four. 4-4 with sixteen in the half.

Mae Gusta sparred again against Suzie Smashbox and took the lead.  While Tara and Diamond battered Suzie from end to end of the track, Mae snuck through the outside and scored seven, but the refs sent her to the box at the conclusion of the jam on accumulation of minors.  The Gardas called a timeout to recenter.

The women in green sent Angelfire out to jam while Mae cooled her skates in the penalty box.  Despite the Gardas' best efforts, they could not push Angelfire past Tara and Diamond before Mae emerged from the box and took the lead.  Suzie answered back the next jam by breaking through the pack first and calling for a slowdown...giving her just enough time to score four before Venus Thightrap reengaged.

Cassie Rolle returned to the line, this time jamming against Jocelyn D'Jewels ("Balls" to the Bombshells).  Cassie got caught up by Misfit Maiden, slamming into the Bombshell blocker captain from behind.  Cassie got sent to the box, which opened the way for Jocelyn to take the lead.  Balls broke through the pack, snagged the lead, and called off the jam before scoring a point.  Venus Thightrap jammed unopposed for three points.  While Cassie came out as Venus began her lapping run, the referees sent her out on penalties quickly.  Venus called the jam, trapping the rookie in the box again.  Mae took the next lead as her blockers played a zone engagement trap and scored five.  Noticing Cassie rising from her seat as she approached the penalty box - signalling that her 'sentence' was about up - Mae called the jam again.  Finally, Cassie re-emerged in the following jam, beat out the Bombshell blockers up front for the lead, and gladly called off the jam.  The Bombshells scored eight points and solidly controlled the clock for six minutes amidst the power jam opportunity.  Bombshells up 19-8.

With just four minutes to go in the half, a well-rested Suzie Smashbox tore down the track, squeezing past her blockers to take the lead.  Suzie grand-slammed past her opposing jammer despite a massive hit from Tara Skatesov that had half the crowd grimacing...and the other half on their feet.  Following a no-score jam, Mitzi Massacre recovered from an early hit by Anita Spankston to grab the lead and five points, as Suzie Smashbox could not crack through a Bombshell defense that might as well have been made from concrete.  The Bombshells went to the back for halftime with a narrow ten-point lead (23-13).  Although the lead was slender, the Bombshells controlled the clock for 8 of the 12 jams, and did not allow the Gardas a single point when they had the lead.  What's more, their defensive line allowed only one player - the often-unstoppable Suzie Smashbox - to score in the half.

Tiki Torture began the second half at the jammer line against Venus Thightrap.  Tiki used her explosive acceleration to take the outside of the track at a rapid clip, but Venus wove through the inside lane to get the lead for a very quick four points.  Cassie Rolle struggled against a sweeping Tara Skatesov...but Suzie laid out Tara to allow Cassie to pass.  Seemed like something of a payback of a sort to Tara's earlier pasting of Suzie...but it also brought the crowd to a roar and got her jammer through to arrest Mae's progress.  Meanwhile, Mae Gusta scored five...well on her way to a personal best in a hometeam game.  Venus scored another four (allowing two from Suzie Smashbox), bringing the Bombshell lead to 21 with just four minutes of game time passed. 36-21.

After the sixth consecutive jam led by the Bombshells (scored by a fast-reacting Jocelyn D'Jewels, flying through a narrow opening created by opposing jammer Angelfire), Suzie bypassed a distracted Bombshell pack for a lead jam.  Suzie scored three, then got stuck with a back-blocking penalty as she ran into Misfit Maiden.  Her opponent Mae Gusta started accelerating.  Having just beaten a block outside of the engagement zone by Citizen Pain (sent to the box for her illegal hit), Mae lapped twice against an emptying pack.  On her third lap, a returning Citizen Pain took Mae down in the corner, and Mae called the jam with thirteen more points.  The box had a number of Gardas still waiting from the previous jam to be let out, so Suzie took the lead and delayed her opponent's progress in the lapping run so that all players served their time in full.  Suzie then shot through the pack ahead to take an easy four points. Mae grabbed another point in the following jam, creating her own space by jumping over skates and hips in the inside of turns. 51-22 Bombshells still ahead.

The previous jam had sent the aggressive Tara Skatesov/Diamond Rough duo to the box, and Suzie - who had been tenderized all game by these two as well as Misfit Maiden and Mitzi Massacre - took full advantage of the gaps in the pack by taking the next lead.  Suzie lapped the pack for five just as Diamond and Tara came barreling out of the penalty box like twin engines of destruction.  Tara knocked Anita aside to allow Misfit through, then re-entered the pack to await Suzie's second lap.  Suzie scored three more and called off the jam.  Cassie Rolle scored four points in the following jam (the only points scored by someone besides Suzie for the Gardas), despite an attempt by the Bombshells to speed up the pack.  51-34 Bombshells with six left.

With those two jams, the point gap looked ready to be overcome, but a horrible piece of miscommunication doomed the comeback on the next jam.  Suzie did not report to the jammer line by the first whistle, and so the Gardas were without a jammer against Mae Gusta.  Mae Gusta skated up to the pack, found the smallest of openings on the inside and jumped through it into her lapping run.  She scored eight points, followed by three points from Venus Thightrap as Skullateral Damage opened space for her teammate to take the lead and points.  Tara Skatesov donned the star and jousted against Angelfire, and knocked her opponent out of bounds well behind the pack.  That particular play guarantees that the jammer sent out of bounds before entering the zone of engagement cannot be the lead jammer.  Tara sped through for another three before getting calling off the jam following a tooth-rattling block from Dieann Isis.  Suzie scored four points in each of the final two jams, but those late points did not affect the final outcome.  With an undefeated streak and a winning record that extends now to five, the Atomic Bombshells defeated the mighty Garda Belts 67-42.

The Bombshells now have the opportunity to extend their streak to six and to win it all.  All they have to do is defeat the two-time defending champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls...the Rockits.  We will see you at the Roy for that decisive battle.

GARDA BELTS:
91 Suzie Smashbox     (8-12) 38pts
350 Cassie Rolle     (2-7) 4pts
c² Angelfire     (0-5) 0pts
H8U Tiki Torture     (0-1) 0pts

ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS:
456 Mae Gusta     (7-11) 41pts
55 Venus Thightrap     (5-8) 19pts
3 Mitzi Massacre     (1-1) 4pts
21 Tara Skatesov     (1-1) 3pts
88 Jocelyn D'Jewels     (2-4) 0pts
313 Misfit Maiden     (0-1) 0pts

One final note for Garda fans: we noted in the preview that Garda rookie Alisin Chains has moved to Chicago.  Following the bout, we learned that Ali has been accepted into the monsters of the Midwest - the Windy City Rollers!  We wish her the best.