In its opening hometeam bout, the TCTs fielded two teams - Black and Blue. The final names are being voted on by the teams' fans and will be announced in the concluding bout on March 27th. The first twenty-five minute half began with Black's Wet Spot scoring an opening salvo for four against Blue's Johnny Pocket Rocket. The score differential grew to seven until MC Thresher for Blue grabbed nine and the lead for Blue after ten minutes, using JPR's front blocking to shoot past the Black pack, 17-15 Blue. Black's Timchilla took the lead back on the next jam, scoring a double-slam-plus for fourteen (29-17 Black with twelve to go). The Black hung onto that lead throughout the remainder of the half. Their blockers showed just a little more pack presence, watching for the Blue jammers on the turns, and some particularly fine blocking from Deathrow Tull and Bustin Morenose seemed to make the difference. 40-31 at the half.
After a halftime bout played by supporters from the North Stars and the MNRG, the boys in Black and Blue burst back on the track. Black's jammers - led by Dirty Larry and Bruce Knuckle - took six of the first nine jams of the half taking the score to 74-42 Black with ten minutes remaining. Blue made several adjustments to their jammer bench - relying on Johnny and the six-foot-six manbeast Killsbury Doughboy - and controlled the clock for the last minutes. However, each lead jam could only score five or less points against a triumphant Black pack. As time expired, Black won the Terrors' first home match, 83-60.
The Terrors' next match will be on February 27th at Cheap Skate. See you there!
Top jammers:
Black:
Bruce Knuckle 36 pts (6-10)
Eagon Strangler 13 pts (3-6)
Timchilla 19 pts (2-7)
Bustin Morenose 0 pts (0-1)
Wet Spot 6 pts (2-4)
Dirty Larry 13 pts (4-6)
Deathrow Tull 0 pts (1-1)
Blue:
Johnny Pocket Rocket 12 pts (5-11)
Blunt Damage 21 pts (4-6)
MC Thresher 16 pts (3-7)
Killsbury Doughboy 4 pts (2-2)
Wernher Van Bombed 7 pts (1-2)
Whiplash 0 pts (1-3)
Husker Stu 0 pts (0-2)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Garda Belts beat back Dolly assault, 59-50
Last year's bottom-ranked Dagger Dolls took on the Garda Belts, (2009 runners-up), for this first bout of the new home season. There was expectation that this would be a high-scoring game as a bevy of Dolly speedsters took on Suzie Smashbox. It really was anything but that. Although the teams had less than five practices before this bout as the Dolls and as the Gardas, the close scores and the heavy reliance on delaying the jammer instead of knocking her out denoted a bout fought between two strong packs instead of a battle of star-wearing skaters.
After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's momentum for just a moment...then fled through that pack. Suzie broke through with a minor penalty keeping her from the all-important call of 'lead jammer' and began her lapping run even as Psycho first passed Tiki Torture. The Garda blocker Tiki paced the young Doll through the pack and recycled herself up front as part of a wall with Citizen Pain to engage Psycho again. Psycho finally jinked past Citi and Tiki, took the lead, and called off the jam, but Suzie scored a grand slam. Good start for the women in green, and fellow Garda Belt Rumblebee took the next lead and scored one before rookie AliSin Chains boxed her up. 6-0 Gardas.
After a quick three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, Psycho Novia found a clear line and screamed through to cheers in the stands for five in the next jam as Gogo Galore contained Anita Spankston. Gogo gave her teammate the interference through the pack that she needed to take the lead. Gardas ahead after five minutes, 9-5.
Suzie repeated her momentum-squeezing trick on Doll rookie Patently Offensive; again, Suzie did not take the lead but depended on her speed to carry her through to the scoring pass. It almost didn't work; Patently got the lead, but only some miscommunication regarding the jam by the refs gained the Gardas a point. Psycho Novia scored her third lead jam in a row, just as jammer Rumblebee fell prey to a back-blocking trap set by Candi Pain. Novia could not advance through to the scoring pass, so called off the jam to pass the power jam to a fresh player. Dolly jammer Sparkle Ninja could not break through the Garda pack as Rumblebee emerged from her penalty, calling the jam as soon as she secured the lead to bring Suzie back to the jammer line.
Hoping to score more for the Gardas, Suzie was instead sent to the box while Scootaloo took another five to tie the game, 10-10 with 8 to go. Suzie was joined by Stacy Wrekt, leaving the Garda Belt defense a bit bare. Unfortunately for Psycho, the core Garda blockers of this match delayed the Doll for twenty seconds...almost enough for Suzie to take the lead as came out of the box. Psycho bust past and called off the jam with Suzie breathing down her neck.
Suzie then poodled herself...
poodle: v. the act of sending a jammer to the track as a blocker and telling her to standing in front of the pivot line, deliberately taking a false-start minor penalty. Performed by jammers to acquire a fourth minor penalty and a visit to the penalty box to clear out their minors before they go to the jammer line. Similar to: lancing a boil.
Suzie then poodled herself as Buffy the Vampire Skater and Rumblebee went to the jammer line. Buffy took the lead for four and called the jam with Suzie still in the box, the Gardas sent up rookie Cassie Rolle against Psycho Novia. Cassie skated like a natural, using Tiki and Citizen Pain's interference-running to score three points. 14-13 Dolls. Sparkle Ninja fairly exploded from the line and took lead while Rumblebee was sent to the penalty box...but it took 'bee a full fifteen seconds to realize what was happening and enter the box, giving Ninja the chance to reengage the pack even before Rumblebee sat down (a penalty does not start until the player is seated). Sparkle took advantage of this for eleven. With 'Bee still in the box, Doll rookie Killaman Jaro grabbed the lead and three more points as time expired for the half, Dolls ahead 28-13.
Three power jams kept the Gardas from scoring for a quarter of the first half, and the Dolls bled every moment of those opportunities to score points. For the Gardas, this was surely disappointing; they were being outled 9-4 by the Dolls, Suzie had only scored five points in the entire half...yet they were only behind by fifteen.
The fortunes of the Garda Belts changed immediately as they returned from halftime. Suzie did not struggle a whit as she bypassed the Dolls and gained speed for the scoring pass, taking a double slam while her opponent banged again and again into a rough Garda line. Sparkle Ninja responded with eight as her Dolly pack handled Anita hard enough to force a visit to the penalty box...but Sparkle Ninja popped Anita out of the box with a penalty of her own - as only one jammer can sit in the box at a time, Anita returned to the track for the end of the jam.
Suzie took advantage of the Garda power jam as Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture shoved open gaps in the Dolly wall. In her zeal to re-enter at the conclusion of her penalty, Sparkle Ninja re-entered the track into the thick of the pack...an automatic major penalty. With Ninja in for another minute, Suzie returned immediately to the jammer line and scored ten despite bouncing off the rock-strong Doll rookie Killaman Jaro. Tiki - so dominant in this match as a troubleshooter - shoved Jaro aside and let Suzie through. Sparkle returned to the track but did not score. Anita added to the lead with a grand slam on the Dolls, and the Gardas retook the lead, 49-36. Her opponent - Patently Offensive - was sent to the penalty box.
This would be the third penalty in four jams for the Dolls, tearing apart any ability the Dolls had to hold back the Gardas; a derby team is always at a strong disadvantage when their jammer is in the box. The Gardas charged ahead 24-0 amidst those four jams. Patently Offensive tore from the box in the following jam against Suzie Smashbox, holding the all-star Garda to one point while scoring one herself. With 7:30 to go, the Dolls had fallen behind by thirteen.
Suzie poodled again while Sparkle Ninja and Anita Spankston flew from the jammer line. With the help of Shiver Me Kimbers, Ninja blasted past adversity and brought her team back to within four...but the jam had gone long enough that Suzie had completed her trip to the penalty box. With a clean slate for minors, Suzie jammed against Scootaloo. Scootaloo, held up by Tiki Torture and Citizen Pain, could not crack the pack while Suzie scored nine unanswered points. With time for two more jams, Psycho Novia returned fire on the Gardas with four unaswered points to give the Dolls a shot at the win. However, the final Dolly jammer - Buffy the Vampire Skater - could not bypass the phenomenal Tiki Torture in time to beat Suzie for the lead. As time expired, Suzie called off the jam and gave the Garda Belts their first win, 59-50.
The Gardas came back to score 46 points in the second half to the Dolls' 22...just enough to make the difference. Neither team had a strong advantage on the other, and both teams fell prey to power jams throughout the match. However, while the Garda pack kept a lid on the Dagger Doll jammers during those minutes of unopposed jamming, the Doll pack was unable to stop Suzie Smashbox's power jams...particularly when she had blocker assistance from Citizen Pain, Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and Punish Mint Patty. Suzie appears to rely on her teammates for much more than a belt whip these days, and it seems that the Garda defense is going to continue to be very difficult to defeat. Rockits, Bombshells...take note.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox 7-11, 50 pts
18 Anita Spankston 1-3, 5 pts
350 Cassie Rolle 0-1, 3 pts
4x4 Rumblebee 2-8, 1 pt
DAGGER DOLLS
1111 Sparkle Ninja 3-7, 28 pts
109 Psycho Novia 6-7, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo 1-3, 5 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater 1-2, 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro 0-1, 3 pts
281 Patently Offensive 1-3, 1 pt
After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's momentum for just a moment...then fled through that pack. Suzie broke through with a minor penalty keeping her from the all-important call of 'lead jammer' and began her lapping run even as Psycho first passed Tiki Torture. The Garda blocker Tiki paced the young Doll through the pack and recycled herself up front as part of a wall with Citizen Pain to engage Psycho again. Psycho finally jinked past Citi and Tiki, took the lead, and called off the jam, but Suzie scored a grand slam. Good start for the women in green, and fellow Garda Belt Rumblebee took the next lead and scored one before rookie AliSin Chains boxed her up. 6-0 Gardas.
After a quick three-point jam by Suzie Smashbox, Psycho Novia found a clear line and screamed through to cheers in the stands for five in the next jam as Gogo Galore contained Anita Spankston. Gogo gave her teammate the interference through the pack that she needed to take the lead. Gardas ahead after five minutes, 9-5.
Suzie repeated her momentum-squeezing trick on Doll rookie Patently Offensive; again, Suzie did not take the lead but depended on her speed to carry her through to the scoring pass. It almost didn't work; Patently got the lead, but only some miscommunication regarding the jam by the refs gained the Gardas a point. Psycho Novia scored her third lead jam in a row, just as jammer Rumblebee fell prey to a back-blocking trap set by Candi Pain. Novia could not advance through to the scoring pass, so called off the jam to pass the power jam to a fresh player. Dolly jammer Sparkle Ninja could not break through the Garda pack as Rumblebee emerged from her penalty, calling the jam as soon as she secured the lead to bring Suzie back to the jammer line.
Hoping to score more for the Gardas, Suzie was instead sent to the box while Scootaloo took another five to tie the game, 10-10 with 8 to go. Suzie was joined by Stacy Wrekt, leaving the Garda Belt defense a bit bare. Unfortunately for Psycho, the core Garda blockers of this match delayed the Doll for twenty seconds...almost enough for Suzie to take the lead as came out of the box. Psycho bust past and called off the jam with Suzie breathing down her neck.
Suzie then poodled herself...
poodle: v. the act of sending a jammer to the track as a blocker and telling her to standing in front of the pivot line, deliberately taking a false-start minor penalty. Performed by jammers to acquire a fourth minor penalty and a visit to the penalty box to clear out their minors before they go to the jammer line. Similar to: lancing a boil.
Suzie then poodled herself as Buffy the Vampire Skater and Rumblebee went to the jammer line. Buffy took the lead for four and called the jam with Suzie still in the box, the Gardas sent up rookie Cassie Rolle against Psycho Novia. Cassie skated like a natural, using Tiki and Citizen Pain's interference-running to score three points. 14-13 Dolls. Sparkle Ninja fairly exploded from the line and took lead while Rumblebee was sent to the penalty box...but it took 'bee a full fifteen seconds to realize what was happening and enter the box, giving Ninja the chance to reengage the pack even before Rumblebee sat down (a penalty does not start until the player is seated). Sparkle took advantage of this for eleven. With 'Bee still in the box, Doll rookie Killaman Jaro grabbed the lead and three more points as time expired for the half, Dolls ahead 28-13.
Three power jams kept the Gardas from scoring for a quarter of the first half, and the Dolls bled every moment of those opportunities to score points. For the Gardas, this was surely disappointing; they were being outled 9-4 by the Dolls, Suzie had only scored five points in the entire half...yet they were only behind by fifteen.
The fortunes of the Garda Belts changed immediately as they returned from halftime. Suzie did not struggle a whit as she bypassed the Dolls and gained speed for the scoring pass, taking a double slam while her opponent banged again and again into a rough Garda line. Sparkle Ninja responded with eight as her Dolly pack handled Anita hard enough to force a visit to the penalty box...but Sparkle Ninja popped Anita out of the box with a penalty of her own - as only one jammer can sit in the box at a time, Anita returned to the track for the end of the jam.
Suzie took advantage of the Garda power jam as Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture shoved open gaps in the Dolly wall. In her zeal to re-enter at the conclusion of her penalty, Sparkle Ninja re-entered the track into the thick of the pack...an automatic major penalty. With Ninja in for another minute, Suzie returned immediately to the jammer line and scored ten despite bouncing off the rock-strong Doll rookie Killaman Jaro. Tiki - so dominant in this match as a troubleshooter - shoved Jaro aside and let Suzie through. Sparkle returned to the track but did not score. Anita added to the lead with a grand slam on the Dolls, and the Gardas retook the lead, 49-36. Her opponent - Patently Offensive - was sent to the penalty box.
This would be the third penalty in four jams for the Dolls, tearing apart any ability the Dolls had to hold back the Gardas; a derby team is always at a strong disadvantage when their jammer is in the box. The Gardas charged ahead 24-0 amidst those four jams. Patently Offensive tore from the box in the following jam against Suzie Smashbox, holding the all-star Garda to one point while scoring one herself. With 7:30 to go, the Dolls had fallen behind by thirteen.
Suzie poodled again while Sparkle Ninja and Anita Spankston flew from the jammer line. With the help of Shiver Me Kimbers, Ninja blasted past adversity and brought her team back to within four...but the jam had gone long enough that Suzie had completed her trip to the penalty box. With a clean slate for minors, Suzie jammed against Scootaloo. Scootaloo, held up by Tiki Torture and Citizen Pain, could not crack the pack while Suzie scored nine unanswered points. With time for two more jams, Psycho Novia returned fire on the Gardas with four unaswered points to give the Dolls a shot at the win. However, the final Dolly jammer - Buffy the Vampire Skater - could not bypass the phenomenal Tiki Torture in time to beat Suzie for the lead. As time expired, Suzie called off the jam and gave the Garda Belts their first win, 59-50.
The Gardas came back to score 46 points in the second half to the Dolls' 22...just enough to make the difference. Neither team had a strong advantage on the other, and both teams fell prey to power jams throughout the match. However, while the Garda pack kept a lid on the Dagger Doll jammers during those minutes of unopposed jamming, the Doll pack was unable to stop Suzie Smashbox's power jams...particularly when she had blocker assistance from Citizen Pain, Tiki Torture, Hanna Belle Lector, and Punish Mint Patty. Suzie appears to rely on her teammates for much more than a belt whip these days, and it seems that the Garda defense is going to continue to be very difficult to defeat. Rockits, Bombshells...take note.
GARDA BELTS
91 Suzie Smashbox 7-11, 50 pts
18 Anita Spankston 1-3, 5 pts
350 Cassie Rolle 0-1, 3 pts
4x4 Rumblebee 2-8, 1 pt
DAGGER DOLLS
1111 Sparkle Ninja 3-7, 28 pts
109 Psycho Novia 6-7, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo 1-3, 5 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater 1-2, 4 pts
9 Killaman Jaro 0-1, 3 pts
281 Patently Offensive 1-3, 1 pt
Set to maximum yield, Bombshells break Rockit streak, 78-76
For many fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls, the Rockits have always been the winners. They just win; they're the serious, hard-working, take-care-of-your-body kind of players that can tell you the ins and outs of the game as they outdrink you. If you started attending bouts in Season 4, you've never known anything different. On Saturday, the Rockits lost. More importantly, the Atomic Bombshells - under the leadership of Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden - played a smart game and beat the back-to-back champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls in a match that brought the fans roaring to their feet.
Venus Thightrap - lately the prime pivot for the All-Stars - returned to her jammer roots for the Atomic Bombshells against Harmony Killerbruise for the first jam. As the jammers made their way through on the initial pass, Venus' blockers opened the way for their scorer, then knocked the Rockit's franchise jammer to her back foot long enough for Venus to take the lead. Venus did not quite time the call of the jam, so Harmony grabbed a point to the Bombshell's two. Similarly, Bombshell L'exi Cuter took the next lead, but Abbie used the L'exi-shaped hole in the pack to get through herself and stole two points. Mae Gusta shot through the inside with ease for the Bombshells while Venus momentarily held back Harmony's jam...but the Rockit still got a point.
After a fast three-point jam from L'exi, Mae Gusta jammed against Harmony Killerbruise, again took the lead, and again allowed the Rockits to score. The Bombshells had so far taken every lead, scoring 17...but the Rockits kept stealing points. First bout jitters for the Bombshells, perhaps...but L'exi Cuter sprinted it off with an unanswerable grand slam-plus as she sped out of the pack through a hole made by Mitzi Massacre. Shaken, the Rockits called a timeout. 26-8 with eleven minutes left.
The Rockit defense became startlingly high-risk; three of their players went to the box in the next jam while Mae Gusta scored four. This led to an easy grand slam for L'exi Cuter against the Rockits' Vuedoo Prodigy as L'exi sped past a depleted Rockit pack. Harmony finally grabbed a lead jam and four for the Reds as her opponent was waylaid by Rockit blocker Pain Gretzky, but it was their first lead after eight in a row for the Bombshells. L'exi returned fire with a grand slam despite being tracked through the pack by Vuedoo Prodigy; Vue hit or stopped L'exi so many times, she may have kept the young Bombshell from scoring a double slam. A back block penalty from opposing jammer Trixxie Whipsum (forced by Tara Skatesov) allowed Mae Gusta to go to the line unopposed in the next jam, scoring another slam.
Scarmen Hellectra grabbed the second Rockit lead jam of the night with two minutes left in the half, scoring an unanswered five against opponent Tara. Scarmen also called off the jam just as L'exi was sent to the box as a blocker...trapping her so that she could not return to the line during the half. The ploy did not appear to do much; both Venus and Abbie Mischief each scored four in the final jam of the first half. Bombshells 49-23 at the half.
Five-for-five lead jamming from L'Exi-Cuter and several unanswered grand slams should have unsettled the Rockits. However, the Bombshell jammers weren't closing off their jams cleanly...giving their opponents an opportunity to score on them amidst the chaos of the pack. On the other hand, the Bombshell defense shocked the staff and fans by holding the Rockits to under thirty in the half.
The fire of the Bombshells almost flamed out at the beginning of the second half. Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead jam over Misfit Maiden, and while Harmony accelerated, the refs sent Misfit to the box as she tried to break through the back of the pack. The Bombshells seemed to panic as Harmony kept lapping and started trying to divebomb or strongarm the jammer...sending the defense to the box as well. Harmony posted a quadruple slam - 20 points - as the track emptied of Bombshells. Abbie Mischief took up the remainder of Misfit's power jam and - despite rapid-fire blocking from Tara Skatesov and Jocelyn D Jewels - scored another fifteen as the Bombshells continued to be shelled by the Rockit pack. Misfit re-entered but was sent back out to the box...However, the refs called Abbie on penalties just as time expired on the jam. With five minutes gone in the second half, the Rockits retook the lead 58-49.
Abbie's penalty at the end of the jam kept Misfit in the box until the start of the next one when Abbie officially began her penalty (as only one jammer can be in the box at a time). This meant Misfit couldn't swap out for a fresh jammer and had to start from the box, not the jammer line. Misfit pinballed her way through the pack and lapped, staying free of fouls while Abbie returned to the track and promptly got sent out again. Misfit endured a very rocky two minutes as Killahertz, Trinity Knox, and Meshugenough all laid into her, trying to force a foul. No such luck; Misfit hit the bench after seven minutes with the jammer star, scoring five. L'exi took Misfit's place and scored nine against a defiant Rockit defense...a jam that sent many Rockits to the box. Abbie returned from penalties as well for four, but L'exi regained the lead for the Bombshells, 63-62 with ten minutes left to play.
The Rockits and Bombshells seesawed over the next two jams. Harmony stole the lead on a fast four as her teammate Scarmen Hellectra held up opposing jammer Mae Gusta, and L'exi came right back for a Bombshell four. The Rockits simply could not contain L'exi Cuter; two jams later, L'exi led again and outscored Abbie 2-1.
Despite the occasional point stealing from the Rockits, L'exi's strong showing meant that the Bombshells continued to control the clock...and it was starting to run low. With only five minutes remaining, the coaches sent Scarmen back to the jammer line against Mae Gusta...and Scarmen came up big. Although she did not get the lead, Scarmen sped ahead of the pack and scored nine to Mae's three. The Bombshells called a timeout with three to go. Rockits took the lead, 76-72.
With the two teams separated by four, the Bombshells put up L'exi and the Rockits sent forward the hard-hitting Honeydew Felon. L'exi, seemingly tireless (and frankly immortal at this point), sped ahead of her booty-blocking opponent, took the lead, and scored three. One point game, and the Bombshells sent forward Venus Thightrap against Harmony Killerbruise for the final jam. The Rockits called a timeout, and the Bombshells took the opportunity to replace Venus with the red-hot L'exi. L'exi would not be stopped; despite hits from Vuedoo Prodigy and Scarmen Hellectra (sending both Rockits to the box), L'exi scored her tenth lead jam of the forty-minute game and skated as if her team depended on her while Harmony was held back by Tara, Misfit, and Diamond Rough. L'exi accelerated and scored three before calling off the jam with less than two seconds remaining...and with the Rockits out of timeouts, the Bombshells collapsed on the track as their fans screamed their win to the rafters. Final score: 78-76.
Amazing match. The first part of the second half showed exactly how good the Rockits could be at playing the game, stranding Misfit in the midst of a hard-hitting Rockit pack...but Misfit hung through long enough for the Bombshells to recover and knock around Abbie the same way. It's clear that this summer has been very good to the Bombshells as so many rookies trained at the level of the All-Stars. We can hope that next month's matches are so close, so intense, so chock-full of awesome. Congratulations to the Atomic Bombshells for their victory!
ATOMIC BOMBSHELLS
187 L'exi-Cuter 10-10, 43 pts
456 Mae Gusta 3-5, 16 pts
55 Venus Thightrap 3-4, 14 pts
313 Misfit Maiden 0-3, 5 pts
47 Shady O'Dread 0-1, 0 pts
21 Tara Skatesov 0-1, 0 pts
ROCKITS
75 Harmony Killerbruise 4-8, 34 pts
318 Abbie Mischief 1-7, 26 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra 1-2, 14 pts
6 Trixxie Whipsum 0-3, 0 pts
LXIX Vuedoo Prodigy 0-2, 0 pts
333 Coochie Coup 0-1, 2 pts
25 to Life Honeydew Felon 0-1, 0 pts
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Home Season Six preview: Atomic Bombshells and Rockits
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Atomic Bombshells are confident but not cocky, skilled and athletic but real warm-hearted and spirited, individually strong but collectively bad-bleeping-ass. If you don't know we're the orange team, just look for the girls that are calmly recycling themselves in the pack and picking off blockers and jammers with (atomic) aplomb!
A BOOMbay Safire has such a sweet disposition that it's shocking when she knocks a shoulder into your sternum. You just don't see it coming. We've noticed a sorta preternatural awareness of who is on the track and where. Expect her to see her heavy hitting as a Blocker and Pivoting eventually.
We liked Double D. Fense right away because she gets that look in her eye right before she takes someone down that tells you the hit is going to be right on target. Dubs is relentless and just totally eyes on the prize at all times.
Madame de Stompadour comes from having spent a season with the Auld Reekie Rollergirls of Edinburgh, Scotland. She's taking it slow on an injured knee so far and has just stepped up with amazing sideline support for the team in this first year. Expect to see her jamming and definitely blocking in the back of the pack; she's got a very solid and fast stride on her.
We fortunate that our rookies apparently talked before the home season started and decided to get their major injuries over and done with early on in their derby careers. You'll see two of them toughing it out on the track through a separated shoulder (Double D.) and dislocated fingers (BOOM).
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A We just really like each other and got each other's backs at all times, on and off the track, and this is pretty huge when it comes to keeping our head in the game. We know this season is ours for the taking and we're ready! Though we went 2-2 last year, we saw it as hugely successful in a rebuilding year and all games were still very competitive. Individually, our players are very strong but it is the confident, collected way we work together on the track that we will use to win the game. We try to spend a lot of time on skill-building and techniques like visualization, but when it all comes down to it we just have a ton of fun together playing this game and believe we have both the physical and mental skills to win.
Q Who is that guy with the mask and the crazy fire extinguisher?
A That's Meltdown, the coolest mascot of the Atomic Bombshells. He wears that visor and carries that extinguisher around due to an childhood accident resulting in head trauma that now causes a mysterious powerful optic beam that shoot from his eyeballs. It's pretty cool. Also, Meltdown is the inspiration for Beach Party Meltdown, who appears randomly at our bouts. Look for him this season!
Every couple of years, the Bombshells have gone and reinvented themselves. In 2006, veterans converged on the team and created a superteam that defeated all comers. Last year, Misfit Maiden and Mitzi took on the gargantuan task of filling seven openings with rookies (not old hands at the game) and whipping the chaotic mess into a damn fine derby team. That team is now in its second year, and it has the potential to break the Rockits' nine game streak of wins.
In the first preview of the upcoming home season, we asked the captains of the Dagger Dolls and the Garda Belts about their teams. We now turn attention to the other bout on January 2nd...Rockits versus the Atomic Bombshells.
Atomic Bombshells:
Captain: Mitzi Massacre #3
Co-captain: Misfit Maiden #313
Last won the Golden Skate: 2007
Colors: orange and lime green
We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Mitzi Massacre wrote:
A The Atomic Bombshells are confident but not cocky, skilled and athletic but real warm-hearted and spirited, individually strong but collectively bad-bleeping-ass. If you don't know we're the orange team, just look for the girls that are calmly recycling themselves in the pack and picking off blockers and jammers with (atomic) aplomb!
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
We liked Double D. Fense right away because she gets that look in her eye right before she takes someone down that tells you the hit is going to be right on target. Dubs is relentless and just totally eyes on the prize at all times.
Madame de Stompadour comes from having spent a season with the Auld Reekie Rollergirls of Edinburgh, Scotland. She's taking it slow on an injured knee so far and has just stepped up with amazing sideline support for the team in this first year. Expect to see her jamming and definitely blocking in the back of the pack; she's got a very solid and fast stride on her.
We fortunate that our rookies apparently talked before the home season started and decided to get their major injuries over and done with early on in their derby careers. You'll see two of them toughing it out on the track through a separated shoulder (Double D.) and dislocated fingers (BOOM).
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A We just really like each other and got each other's backs at all times, on and off the track, and this is pretty huge when it comes to keeping our head in the game. We know this season is ours for the taking and we're ready! Though we went 2-2 last year, we saw it as hugely successful in a rebuilding year and all games were still very competitive. Individually, our players are very strong but it is the confident, collected way we work together on the track that we will use to win the game. We try to spend a lot of time on skill-building and techniques like visualization, but when it all comes down to it we just have a ton of fun together playing this game and believe we have both the physical and mental skills to win.
Q Who is that guy with the mask and the crazy fire extinguisher?
A That's Meltdown, the coolest mascot of the Atomic Bombshells. He wears that visor and carries that extinguisher around due to an childhood accident resulting in head trauma that now causes a mysterious powerful optic beam that shoot from his eyeballs. It's pretty cool. Also, Meltdown is the inspiration for Beach Party Meltdown, who appears randomly at our bouts. Look for him this season!
Garrison's take:
Last year, the Bombshells started playing anyone who wanted to jam; we ended up seeing ten different women at the jammer line, six of whom jammed more than ten times. The more depth you have for jammers, the fewer problems that you will have when several jammers are in penalty trouble. What's more, the Bombshell jammers were sent to the box only fifteen times throughout the season; only the Rockits did better at keeping their penalty sheets clean. The offensive firepower of this team is only going to improve; the Bombshells have been deeply involved with the All-Stars this summer, and several of the women in orange played in heavy rotation as scorers.
The front of the Bombshell pack is going to be very, very tough this year. Venus Thightrap earned her All-Star blues as a pivot, not a jammer. Against Carolina, against Hammer City, and against Sioux Falls, Venus showed herself to be a phenomenal presence. When you put her in the front of the pack, the opposing team had a strong tendency to not score. The Bombshells have got other strong pivots as well...whether Diamond Rough, Chinese Takeout, or Misfit Maiden, the Bombshell pack is going to be well-managed this year.
Rockits:
Captain: Coochie Coup #333
Co-captain: Abbie Mischief #318
Last won the Golden Skate: 2009 (current champions)
Colors: red and silver
We asked each team a set of questions; Coochie Coup sent us these answers:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Rockits are a very competitive, egalitarian team. For us derby is more sport than show so we work hard and have a tight team dynamic. We try and focus on strategy and working with people’s strengths and minimizing their weaknesses. We like to enjoy derby and understand that winning is enjoyable. Plus, I think we are geek chic w/ a love of cake and gummi bears.
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A They are f***ing awesome. We feel very lucky to have them and each of them is a great fit for our team. They have great attitudes and work hard both and outside of practice. They are getting better every day.
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Because we are superior – physically, mentally, and culturally. The Rockits have always stepped it up for a bout in ways that continue to impress even a hardened Captain like myself and I expect a continued unbeaten streak and the Golden Skate Three-peat. We don’t need big talk – they will hear us just fine on the track Saturday night.
Q Will the loss of any previous skaters impact how the Rockits play?
A No, this team is deeper than my cleavage.
Garrison's take:
The Rockits are, simply, the team to beat. No team has defeated them in two seasons; should they defeat the Bombshells, The Rockit Streak goes to ten. But this is a new year. Slate's clean and Jawbreaker, Dudezilla, and Soylent Mean - three of the top five jammers for the 2008-9 Rockits last year - are gone from the roster. Jawbreaker alone scored 40% of the Rockit points. The trick for the other teams is to not breathe a sigh of relief from this news.
The thing is, the secret of Rockit success has never been at the jammer line; it's the suffocating Red Wall defense. The Rockits allowed 130 points over five games; every other team allowed at least 300 over the same period. What does that mean to the fan of other teams? Watch your packs. Teams must clear the way for their jammers; the Rockit pack is guarded in the back by the likes of Vuedoo Prodigy and Honeydew Felon. If they pass the back, the back blockers move up and scrape the opposing jammer off the front walls made of Scarmen Hellectra, Coochie Coup, Rizzo, and Pain Gretzky. With the loss of several dedicated Rockit jammers, opposing scorers might not have to race as fast to the front of the pack to get the lead, but scorers must still find a way through, and their teams must help them. So far, no one's pulled it off long enough to beat the Rockits.
2010 is nigh. It's a new year, a new season, and a new run for glory. This is the moment that you have waited for, derby fans. Saturday starts the clock on the countdown to April's season championship. Doors will likely open early; beat the rush and find yourself a seat for the best season yet (you know, deep down, that this is true) at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium. Don't miss a moment.
Reporting for the Minnesota RollerGirls,
-Garrison Killer
Home Season 6 Preview: Dolls and Gardas
Home Season Six preview: Dagger Dolls and Garda Belts
The handmade capes, the Robber outfits, the Supervillain shirts that were tragically not for sale...they're all gone. League mixers are the past and on Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, the Minnesota RollerGirls begin the home season. The road to the Golden Skate has been cleared, and every team awaits the first whistle on Saturday night. In this and the following preview, we will reintroduce you to the four teams of the MNRG and we'll look ahead to the upcoming home season.
Dagger Dolls:
Captain: Candi Pain #666
Co-captain: Sweet Justice #i4ni
Last won the Golden Skate: 2005
Colors: pink and black
We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Candi and Sweet Justice reported back:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Dagger Dolls are everyone's favorite team because we are the prettiest and most fun!
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A Don't tell anyone, but they are total ringers from the far corners of the globe. They have been studying derby since their births.
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Simply because we are better than they are.
Q How have the Dagger Dolls been training in preparation for the home season?
A We have studied and trained with a Jedi master and a pack of wolves. Oh...and a stylist!
Garrison's take:
Last year is something of an unpleasant memory for Dolly fans. Last in the league, the Dagger Dolls had difficulty staying out of the penalty box and mounting enough of an offense against strong packs to get points on the board. They've been winless since March 8, 2008...and that is not lost on the women in pink.
Dolly offenses in the past prefer using a wide array of scorers and this year should be no different. They get to rely on the hard strides of All-Stars Psycho Novia and Sweet Justice...but also newcomers like Killaman Jaro and Patently Offensive, both of whom were darlings of the league mixers. The Dagger Dolls will get their opportunity to show their stuff at the line, particularly if the captains can manage the penalty situation. The case can be made that the Dolls have recruited the fastest women in the rookie pool for the past several years; they just need to keep their strides through the pack clean to take the lead and to control that clock. If they have that capacity, Dolly fans will be delighted by much higher scores.
To score, you really do need a well-oiled defense to back you up and protect the jammer...and the Dolls have been a delight to watch so far this year. If you have seen the mixers or watched the All-Stars in motion, you've been able to see Candi Pain, Wonderbroad, Sinaminn, Shiver Me Kimbers, and even rookies Rollercat and Killaman Jaro casting a long shadow over their packs. Whether Sinaminn routing players into the crowd from the corners or a sweet shoulder check from Kimbers, the Superhero/Supervillain game - with many Dolls on both sides - was like watching a Dolly convention on the track. The Dolls are effectively linking up and hitting roller girls hard. Hot pink stylish violence on the track is going to be their stock in trade.
The start of season six returns of Barbie Brawl to the Dolly pack and longtime fans will be delighted to learn that Buffy the Vampire Skater will be putting on skates for the new season...pink skates. That's right...the former Bombshell has jumped to the Dolls. The injections of veteran talent will be welcome to the Dagger Dolls; no less than five of last year's team stepped aside - giving Candi Pain and Sweet Justice ample opportunity to bring in a new Dolly breed.
Garda Belts:
Captain: Suzie Smashbox #91
Co-captain: Citizen Pain #F16
Last won the Golden Skate: Never
Colors: green and white
We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Suzie said:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The best, of course! [laugh] I'm not sure...we are the favorite team, it seems, based on crowd cheers. We are also the only team who has never won a Golden Skate.
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A We have a lot of new girls this season. Our first bout will be almost half veterans and half rookies because of vet injuries and such.
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Because we want it.
Suzie also dropped the questions to her players; here's what one rookie - Little Tornado - wrote:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A We're the green team. You can recognize us by the trail of blood we leave in our wake. Look for us in the penalty box.
Garrison's take:
The Garda Belts were so damn close. For the first time since the inaugural season, the Garda Belts advanced to the championship match in 2009 off of superior jamming from Suzie Smashbox and a vastly-improved blocking staff. This was a changed team of Gardas; known for their hard hits, the Irish attackers continued their bruising ways while keeping their noses clean in front of the refs. It wasn't quite enough to defeat the Rockits, and now they must begin anew.
For those of you new to Garda Belt tactics...here's a primer. The Gardas like placing Suzie Smashbox at the jammer line. She will break through that pack faster than anyone has a right to, and she will get the lead jam and control the pack about two-thirds of the time. During those periods, the other team can forget about scoring if they can't send Suzie to the box. If this sounds boring, well, you've never seen the Garda Belts play. A good breakaway from the Garda Belts electrifies the crowd five times out of five. Suzie tends to play every other jam with a supporting cast of jammers taking the other ten or so scoring opportunities in the game. Hanna Belle Lector, Rumblebee, Anita Spankston...all are excellent defenders who can bring that added top gear when called upon to wear the jammer star.
This year may also bring a change in offensive tactics. Expect to see the Gardas finding a second or even third regular jammer - Suzie has been playing defense regularly in the All-Star packs...and laying on the sort of hits you'd expect from a Garda Belt. If that continues into the home season, the Gardas will need to expand their offensive strategy...so start watching for a Garda who makes a strong impact early this season.
Speaking of impacts...a large contingent of the women in green have been practicing this summer as part of the All-Star season. Suzie, Tiki Torture, and Citizen Pain are probably the most visible to our fans, but several more players have been working hard to up their game. Anita Spankston, Rita Rawkuss, Punish-mint Patty...all part of the practices. Word is at least one of them have barely missed a night. Also, the recent game against Sioux Falls was something of a highlight reel for Tiki Torture as she weaved through the pack and fairly steamrolled Rollerdollz jammers. Take the Garda Belts from last year and imagine them with another summer of experience. Teams would be wise to not overlook the defensive potential of the Garda Belts in '09 as they prepare to face them. Individual players like Tiki, Optimiss Crime, and Citizen Pain are going to be dominating this year; perhaps the only question is whether they will attack as a single unit, or as a loose group of extremely competent players.
The handmade capes, the Robber outfits, the Supervillain shirts that were tragically not for sale...they're all gone. League mixers are the past and on Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, the Minnesota RollerGirls begin the home season. The road to the Golden Skate has been cleared, and every team awaits the first whistle on Saturday night. In this and the following preview, we will reintroduce you to the four teams of the MNRG and we'll look ahead to the upcoming home season.
Dagger Dolls:
Captain: Candi Pain #666
Co-captain: Sweet Justice #i4ni
Last won the Golden Skate: 2005
Colors: pink and black
We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Candi and Sweet Justice reported back:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Dagger Dolls are everyone's favorite team because we are the prettiest and most fun!
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A Don't tell anyone, but they are total ringers from the far corners of the globe. They have been studying derby since their births.
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Simply because we are better than they are.
Q How have the Dagger Dolls been training in preparation for the home season?
A We have studied and trained with a Jedi master and a pack of wolves. Oh...and a stylist!
Garrison's take:
Last year is something of an unpleasant memory for Dolly fans. Last in the league, the Dagger Dolls had difficulty staying out of the penalty box and mounting enough of an offense against strong packs to get points on the board. They've been winless since March 8, 2008...and that is not lost on the women in pink.
Dolly offenses in the past prefer using a wide array of scorers and this year should be no different. They get to rely on the hard strides of All-Stars Psycho Novia and Sweet Justice...but also newcomers like Killaman Jaro and Patently Offensive, both of whom were darlings of the league mixers. The Dagger Dolls will get their opportunity to show their stuff at the line, particularly if the captains can manage the penalty situation. The case can be made that the Dolls have recruited the fastest women in the rookie pool for the past several years; they just need to keep their strides through the pack clean to take the lead and to control that clock. If they have that capacity, Dolly fans will be delighted by much higher scores.
To score, you really do need a well-oiled defense to back you up and protect the jammer...and the Dolls have been a delight to watch so far this year. If you have seen the mixers or watched the All-Stars in motion, you've been able to see Candi Pain, Wonderbroad, Sinaminn, Shiver Me Kimbers, and even rookies Rollercat and Killaman Jaro casting a long shadow over their packs. Whether Sinaminn routing players into the crowd from the corners or a sweet shoulder check from Kimbers, the Superhero/Supervillain game - with many Dolls on both sides - was like watching a Dolly convention on the track. The Dolls are effectively linking up and hitting roller girls hard. Hot pink stylish violence on the track is going to be their stock in trade.
The start of season six returns of Barbie Brawl to the Dolly pack and longtime fans will be delighted to learn that Buffy the Vampire Skater will be putting on skates for the new season...pink skates. That's right...the former Bombshell has jumped to the Dolls. The injections of veteran talent will be welcome to the Dagger Dolls; no less than five of last year's team stepped aside - giving Candi Pain and Sweet Justice ample opportunity to bring in a new Dolly breed.
Garda Belts:
Captain: Suzie Smashbox #91
Co-captain: Citizen Pain #F16
Last won the Golden Skate: Never
Colors: green and white
We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Suzie said:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The best, of course! [laugh] I'm not sure...we are the favorite team, it seems, based on crowd cheers. We are also the only team who has never won a Golden Skate.
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A We have a lot of new girls this season. Our first bout will be almost half veterans and half rookies because of vet injuries and such.
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Because we want it.
Suzie also dropped the questions to her players; here's what one rookie - Little Tornado - wrote:
Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A We're the green team. You can recognize us by the trail of blood we leave in our wake. Look for us in the penalty box.
Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A The new rookies are tough. They survived 8 weeks of boot camp training how to play roller derby. But they're new school skaters that have respect for the rules and playing a fair game - good thing we have some old school Gardas to correct us!
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A We're stronger, faster, meaner and prettier.
Q What do the Garda Belts do for fun?
A Play derby and dream up new ways to hit girls off their skates. (And rescue kittens)
A The new rookies are tough. They survived 8 weeks of boot camp training how to play roller derby. But they're new school skaters that have respect for the rules and playing a fair game - good thing we have some old school Gardas to correct us!
Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A We're stronger, faster, meaner and prettier.
Q What do the Garda Belts do for fun?
A Play derby and dream up new ways to hit girls off their skates. (And rescue kittens)
Garrison's take:
The Garda Belts were so damn close. For the first time since the inaugural season, the Garda Belts advanced to the championship match in 2009 off of superior jamming from Suzie Smashbox and a vastly-improved blocking staff. This was a changed team of Gardas; known for their hard hits, the Irish attackers continued their bruising ways while keeping their noses clean in front of the refs. It wasn't quite enough to defeat the Rockits, and now they must begin anew.
For those of you new to Garda Belt tactics...here's a primer. The Gardas like placing Suzie Smashbox at the jammer line. She will break through that pack faster than anyone has a right to, and she will get the lead jam and control the pack about two-thirds of the time. During those periods, the other team can forget about scoring if they can't send Suzie to the box. If this sounds boring, well, you've never seen the Garda Belts play. A good breakaway from the Garda Belts electrifies the crowd five times out of five. Suzie tends to play every other jam with a supporting cast of jammers taking the other ten or so scoring opportunities in the game. Hanna Belle Lector, Rumblebee, Anita Spankston...all are excellent defenders who can bring that added top gear when called upon to wear the jammer star.
This year may also bring a change in offensive tactics. Expect to see the Gardas finding a second or even third regular jammer - Suzie has been playing defense regularly in the All-Star packs...and laying on the sort of hits you'd expect from a Garda Belt. If that continues into the home season, the Gardas will need to expand their offensive strategy...so start watching for a Garda who makes a strong impact early this season.
Speaking of impacts...a large contingent of the women in green have been practicing this summer as part of the All-Star season. Suzie, Tiki Torture, and Citizen Pain are probably the most visible to our fans, but several more players have been working hard to up their game. Anita Spankston, Rita Rawkuss, Punish-mint Patty...all part of the practices. Word is at least one of them have barely missed a night. Also, the recent game against Sioux Falls was something of a highlight reel for Tiki Torture as she weaved through the pack and fairly steamrolled Rollerdollz jammers. Take the Garda Belts from last year and imagine them with another summer of experience. Teams would be wise to not overlook the defensive potential of the Garda Belts in '09 as they prepare to face them. Individual players like Tiki, Optimiss Crime, and Citizen Pain are going to be dominating this year; perhaps the only question is whether they will attack as a single unit, or as a loose group of extremely competent players.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sioux Falls falls to Minnesota 180-44
The Sioux Falls Rollerdollz tell us that co-founders Queen Elizabitch and Pain Maker first saw roller derby live when they traveled to the Roy in October 2006. They've come back time and again, they've watched our bouts on the Internet, and our players have gone west to run one of their boot camps in South Dakota. Their geared-up arrival to the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium felt something like a reunion...maybe like one where a fight breaks out. And so, at the conclusion of the league mixer, the Rollerdollz hit the track and made ready to take on the Minnesota RollerGirl All-Stars for a match three years in the waiting.
Suzie Smashbox took to the line against Sioux Falls heavy Queen Elizabitch for the bout's first jam. Elizabitch attempted to take a whip from her pivot but slammed into a Minnesota player for her troubles; Suzie stole the lead out from under her and began accelerating. Elizabitch went to the penalty box, presumably for the back block on the MNRG blocker. Suzie made short work of the pack three times for an early triple slam. MNRG jammer Lexi cracked the pack next for thirteen on another power jam versus Applicious as the Sioux Falls scorer smacked straight into Venus Thightrap. Harmony Killerbruise took Minnesota's third lead jam as she passed a pack unable to touch her as Applicious' penalty expired; Harmony scored seven, but Applicious snuck up and got two before the Minnesotan could call the jam. Minnesota 35-2 with seven minutes past.
Sioux Falls scored again two jams later as Suzie Smashbox took her first trip to the penalty box. Julia Wild scrambled through the pack without taking the lead and scored four more. Unfortunately, Julia also called off the jam; an illegal procedure for a jammer who did not 'take the lead'. This ended the jam and sent Julia to the box; L'exi Cuter took full advantage of Julia's visit and started tearing apart the pack again. Julia had no luck breaking that pack once she left the penalty box; Tara Skatesov and Venus Thightrap ably controlled her in the front while L'exi scored fourteen.
With seventeen left to go, Sioux Falls called a timeout with Minnesota ahead by forty-three (49-6). In the following jams, Sioux Falls began to move their jammers through the pack more briskly, but both Harmony and Psycho Novia of Minnesota still grabbed leads again for three each. Hollicidal Maniac did particularly fine work dropping jammers to the outside, but Minnesota continued to widen the scoring gap. The 'Dollz kept going for the big hit, but could not keep a jammer down long enough to get their first lead jam. Suzie continued the string of leads as she jammed against Hollicidal, orbiting the pack on the outside for four unanswered points. L'exi grabbed another six as Julia Wild again went to the box for track cutting. Harmony took the lead late in the next jam while Queen Elizabitch got held back by Vuedoo Prodigy and Diamond Rough. On her lapping pass, Dusty Bibles of Sioux Falls shut down Harmony's progress. As Diamond Rough fell back to assist her jammer, Harmony passed her the star, and the amazonian Ms Rough ran out the remainder of the jam. 65-8 Minnesota.
Sioux Falls continued to have penalty woes as the refs sent their jammers to the box three times. Minnesota steadily distanced themselves from their opponents, but they had not broken Sioux Falls' nerve. In the penultimate jam of the half, Applicious charged from the box and caught the MNRG blockers napping, scoring five before the opposing jammer - Harmony Killerbruise - could call off the jam. Minnesota's Vuedoo Prodigy quickly answered that scoring run by scoring fourteen as time expired on the first half. 95-15 Minnesota.
Minnesota dominated the first half on scoring, on lead jams, and on penalties. The MNRG's pack continued to hold back their opponents and to peel errant blockers into the penalty box as they would get caught on track-cutting or back-blocking penalties. Meanwhile, four of Minnesota's jamming staff had already posted more than ten points.
The MNRG poured on the points in the second half as the Rollerdollz continued to take on water. Harmony started the half off with a nine-point jam as the refs sent Fully OZmatic to the box. Dollz blocker Red Thunder finally bottled up Harmony's advance, and Harmony called it off. Psycho took the remainder of OZ's penalty out and skated a thirteen-point jam as Venus Thightrap cleared the road for the young jammer. L'exi Cuter followed up for five on another power jam due to opposing jammer Queen Elizabitch's track-cut.
In the following jam, Harmony got out in front of Applicious and started putting on the brakes immediately. Skating stride for stride at a trickle of a pace, Harmony dominated the Sioux Falls jammer long enough that the pack actually caught up with the jammers and sucked Applicious into MNRG blocker Diamond Rough's not-so-gentle embrace. This "negative pass" meant that Applicious would have to pass the pack twice before she could score. Harmony sprinted ahead and appeared to break through the pack for four...although it took a few minutes of referee consternation before play could advance again. Applicious made up for the negative pass in the following jam as she scored five against Tara Skatesov, taking the team's first lead of the night. Julia Wild followed up with another lead and another four points. Minnesota ahead 126-27 with seventeen left to go.
Queen Elizabitch and Harmony went to the line. Amidst her stride, Elizabitch's skates locked up and QE jumped over to her bench for an unscheduled pitstop while Harmony scored fourteen before being sent out on minors. The next jam? Filled with penalties; neither Harmony nor her opponent could stay on the track long enough to break through the pack. Mitzi Massacre smoothed out Minnesota's nerves as she calmly picked her way through the chaotic pack for eight points. Killahertz lost out in the next jam as she cut the track on the initial pass; Elizabitch grabbed four while fending off strong shoulders from Suzie Smashbox. Venus Thightrap took another nine to Julia Wild's three as Diamond Rough blindsided Sioux Falls captain Pain Maker from out of the penalty box to make way for her jammer. Julia got sent to the box on a double penalty, which gave MNRG's next jammer L'exi Cuter the opportunity to score a double slam. 167-34 with 3 minutes left.
MNRG jammer Diamond Rough busted through the pack like a running back on fire, but it wasn't quite enough to beat out Applicious' speed. The Sioux Falls vet grabbed the lead jam and scored three. Elizabitch led the next jam, but could only call it off to shut down Abbie Mischief ahead of her on the track. And as time expired, MNRG all-star rookie Tara Skatesov took one last double slam for thirteen points to Applicious' seven. That jam was the second in five periods of MNRG all-star play (going back to MNRG v Carolina's second half) that the MNRG allowed their opponents more than five points in a single jam. Final score: 180-44.
The second half gave Sioux Falls some ability to show off their hits; Red Thunder, Dusty Bibles, and Hollicidal Maniac all were dropping our players into the crowd. The tactic is great; it's hard to make it work consistently when the jammer won't stay down...and Minnesota's players kept getting up. Minnesota played a dominant game, and their partner system that shifts from active hits to pushing players into walls continues to gather traction. It will be of great interest to see what aspects of the all-star strategies we will see in the home season coming up in two weeks. In the meantime, congratulations to the MNRG for a 4-2 record at home in 2009, including a loss to Windy City...and a win against Carolina. 2010 Regionals are less than ten months away.
MNRG:
75 Harmony Killerbruise: 5-8, 42 pts
187 L'exi Cuter: 6-6, 52 pts
91 Suzie Smashbox: 3-4, 22 pts
109 Psycho Novia: 4-4, 20 pts
21 Tara Skatesov: 1-2, 13 pts
69 Vuedoo Prodigy: 0-1, 14 pts
55 Venus Thightrap: 0-1, 9 pts
3 Mitzi Massacre: 1-1, 8 pts
25 Honeydew Felon: 0-1, 0 pts
808 Killahertz: 0-1, 0 pts
1837 Diamond Rough: 0-1, 0 pts
318 Abbie Mischief: 0-1, 0 pts
SFRD:
3.14 Applicious: 3-9, 20 pts
375 Julia Wild: 1-10, 15 pts
40oz Fully OZmatic: 0-3, 5 pts
1.75L Queen Elizabitch: 1-8, 4 pts
AK47 Hollicidal Manic: 0-1, 0 pts
Superheroes overcome Forces of Evil, 62-40
The final league mixer of the '09-10 season brought together the four home teams for one last mashup. The Supervillains rode into this match with an odd sort of streak going; although each team is put together in an ad-hoc sort of way, the 'forces of evil' had consistently beaten the good guys over the past two years of mixers at the Roy. So, as past players and new blood lined up on the track, the Heroes were out to break the 4-0 streak; they pulled it off with ease, though one would never have guessed it from the first half.
Both teams sent out rookie Dolls - Ova Achieva for the Heroes, Patently Offensive for the Villains, to start the game off. Offensive flashed off the jammer line and hit the pack hard. While Ova got held up by Sinaminn (the villainous 'Dr Sin' for tonight's game) in the back, PO found a way past Superhero Wonderbroad and took the night's first lead jam. The refs caught an errant elbow flying from Ova and sent her to the penalty box, and the early power jam gave Patently the opportunity to score five points. The remainder of that time in the penalty box bled into the next jam, almost giving Rumblebee a free pass through the Superheroes for the second lead jam (it is far easier to pass the pack when you jam without your opponent on the track). While Ova burst from the box and through the pack with Shiver Me Kimbers' assistance, Rumblebee rode a whip off of Stacy Wreckt and called off the jam with four unanswered points.
Supervillain jammer Scarmen Hellectra snatched her team's third lead jam against Anita Spankston for a very fast four points. Following a scoreless jam, Trixie Whipsum - a shining Superhero jammer in Wonder Woman red - grabbed the lead and a single point for her team. She lapped the opposing jammer due to Hero Sweet Justice's patient blocking of Patently Offensive, but could not pass a Supervillain blocker wall, so called the jam off. With eleven minutes gone, the Supervillains were putting on an effective defensive clinic; 13-1.
A messy next jam as both Rumblebee and Anita alternated turns in the penalty box; Rumblebee took the lead and five while Anita grabbed four. Scarmen repeated her All-Star-trained gameplay with a rapid four-and-out jam that Superhero Ova Achieva could not answer. Ova's teammate Trixie Whipsum returned fire with the assistance of two whips from Anita Spankston for three points. Patently Offensive and Superhero Killaman Jaro raced for the next lead; Offensive just beat out Jaro and scored three, but couldn't stop the jam in time before her opponent stole a point. 25-9 with three minutes left. After a fast point from Sweet Justice for the Heroes, Scarmen Hellectra scored her third consecutive lead as Ova Achieva went to the box. Scar grabbed five points and called off the jam to strand Ova in a penalty situation for the last jam.
Shady O'Dread took advantage of the remaining power jam to score three as her teammates pulled the pack apart for her. Shady called the jam with three points as Ova's sentence expired and she charged from the penalty box. At the half, the Villains were ahead 33-10. The Supervillains started brilliantly and took advantage of four power jams to build up a quick lead. The Villains' blocking - particularly Dr Sin, Pain Gretzky and Norah Torious - also played into the 23-point gap between the two teams. It seemed that the Supervillains had it all in hand and were on their way to 5-0 for the forces of evil.
The Heroes punched back immediately in the second half. They sent Jax Kvaas to the line against Shady O'Dread, and Jax celebrated her first jam ever for the MNRG fans by exploding from the line and lapping the pack while her teammates Sweet Justice and Scootaloo concentrated fire on Shady. Ms O'Dread muscled through for the lead and called the jam, but not before Jax scored seven. Killaman Jaro then jammed against Scarmen Hellectra. The refs saw a foul and sent Scarmen immediately to the box. This gave Jaro a power jam opportunity; blasting past Dr Sin and Wanda Wreckonwith and threading a hole opened by teammate Citizen Pain, Killaman Jaro began accelerating. All around Jaro, the Supervillains continued to be sent to the box, and those remaining were no match for her speed. Killaman Jaro scored a triple slam, bringing the Heroes to within a point of their nemeses. 33-32 Villains with thirteen to play.
After a scoreless jam that sent Jax Kvaas to the box, Patently Offensive stepped to the line unopposed. Offensive broke through a light Superhero pack, got the lead, scored a point, and was sent to the box just as Jax was returning. Jax pulled a slam-plus for seven points and called the jam. This jam put the Heroes ahead for the first time in the game, and the Heroes built on that lead. Jax handed the remainder of Offensive's penalty visit to her teammate Scootaloo. Scoots took the lead and tore past Norah Torious and Flora Flipabitch. Patently Offensive returned to the track for about five seconds before being sent out again. Offensive came out a few seconds later as Scootaloo herself was penalized, but quickly returned to the box which freed up Scoots to score seven. Scootallo passed the power jam to fellow Superhero Buffy the Vampire Skater. Buffy scored two more before calling off the jam as she ran into Killaman Jaro's strong blocking.
The Villains responded with a four point jam from Rumblebee, but their momentum was cut short in the next jam as Patently tweaked her ankle and had to be helped to the back. Over the next three jams, Hell N Ready, Scarmen Hellectra, and Rumblebee all attempted comebacks, but none could break past a strong Superhero pack. Meanwhile, the Hero jammers built on the lead, scoring nine unanswered points over those jams. Villain Hanna Belle Lector scored on the last jam, but the gap was simply too large to overcome. In an amazing comeback, the Heroes won the day as time expired, 62-40.
In that second half, the Heroes outscored the Villains 52-7. That's a huge change from the previous half, and has a great deal to do with the format of the mixers; to accomodate the large number of players in a league mixer, team captains rotate players in and out at the half. This is more a logistic choice than anything; there's only so many RollerGirls that you can pack into the middle without someone throwing a punch. That said, the Superheroes did a remarkable job. Taking advantage of four near-consecutive power jams early in the half, the Heroes' play shone a spotlight on three excellent jammers - one of which we've never seen wear a star before. Jax Kvaas and Killaman Jaro tied for most points scored (18 each); it seems that we may see these two at the jammer line again soon (for different teams; Jax has played for the Rockits for three years, while Killaman is a Dagger Doll rookie). Also, teammate Trixie Whipsum went 4-for-4 as lead jammer. What's more, the blocking improved sharply; Killaman Jaro and Shiver Me Kimbers were in Supervillain faces throughout the half, while Lola Blackenblue and Sweet Justice called shots from the front.
With the league mixers complete, there's only place to go...January 2nd. You've gotten to see the newest rookies and the old vets work out the kinks of the summertime off-season; it's time for the home teams at last to hit the track. See you in two Saturdays.
Superheroes:
23 Jax Kvaas: 1-4, 18 pts
9 Killaman Jaro: 1-3, 18 pts
6 Trixie Whipsum: 4-4, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo: 1-1, 7 pts
18 Anita Spankston: 0-2, 4 pts
88 Jocelyn D'Jewels: 1-2, 3 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater: 1-1, 2 pts
i4Ni Sweet Justice: 0-1, 1 pt
711 Ova Achieva: 0-5, 0 pts
36c Wonderbroad: 0-1, 0 pts
Supervillains:
4x4 Rumblebee: 3-5, 13 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra: 4-5, 11 pts
281 Patently Offensive: 3-7, 9 pts
47 Shady O'Dread: 2-4, 3 pts
II Hell N Ready: 0-1, 0 pts
Both teams sent out rookie Dolls - Ova Achieva for the Heroes, Patently Offensive for the Villains, to start the game off. Offensive flashed off the jammer line and hit the pack hard. While Ova got held up by Sinaminn (the villainous 'Dr Sin' for tonight's game) in the back, PO found a way past Superhero Wonderbroad and took the night's first lead jam. The refs caught an errant elbow flying from Ova and sent her to the penalty box, and the early power jam gave Patently the opportunity to score five points. The remainder of that time in the penalty box bled into the next jam, almost giving Rumblebee a free pass through the Superheroes for the second lead jam (it is far easier to pass the pack when you jam without your opponent on the track). While Ova burst from the box and through the pack with Shiver Me Kimbers' assistance, Rumblebee rode a whip off of Stacy Wreckt and called off the jam with four unanswered points.
Supervillain jammer Scarmen Hellectra snatched her team's third lead jam against Anita Spankston for a very fast four points. Following a scoreless jam, Trixie Whipsum - a shining Superhero jammer in Wonder Woman red - grabbed the lead and a single point for her team. She lapped the opposing jammer due to Hero Sweet Justice's patient blocking of Patently Offensive, but could not pass a Supervillain blocker wall, so called the jam off. With eleven minutes gone, the Supervillains were putting on an effective defensive clinic; 13-1.
A messy next jam as both Rumblebee and Anita alternated turns in the penalty box; Rumblebee took the lead and five while Anita grabbed four. Scarmen repeated her All-Star-trained gameplay with a rapid four-and-out jam that Superhero Ova Achieva could not answer. Ova's teammate Trixie Whipsum returned fire with the assistance of two whips from Anita Spankston for three points. Patently Offensive and Superhero Killaman Jaro raced for the next lead; Offensive just beat out Jaro and scored three, but couldn't stop the jam in time before her opponent stole a point. 25-9 with three minutes left. After a fast point from Sweet Justice for the Heroes, Scarmen Hellectra scored her third consecutive lead as Ova Achieva went to the box. Scar grabbed five points and called off the jam to strand Ova in a penalty situation for the last jam.
Shady O'Dread took advantage of the remaining power jam to score three as her teammates pulled the pack apart for her. Shady called the jam with three points as Ova's sentence expired and she charged from the penalty box. At the half, the Villains were ahead 33-10. The Supervillains started brilliantly and took advantage of four power jams to build up a quick lead. The Villains' blocking - particularly Dr Sin, Pain Gretzky and Norah Torious - also played into the 23-point gap between the two teams. It seemed that the Supervillains had it all in hand and were on their way to 5-0 for the forces of evil.
The Heroes punched back immediately in the second half. They sent Jax Kvaas to the line against Shady O'Dread, and Jax celebrated her first jam ever for the MNRG fans by exploding from the line and lapping the pack while her teammates Sweet Justice and Scootaloo concentrated fire on Shady. Ms O'Dread muscled through for the lead and called the jam, but not before Jax scored seven. Killaman Jaro then jammed against Scarmen Hellectra. The refs saw a foul and sent Scarmen immediately to the box. This gave Jaro a power jam opportunity; blasting past Dr Sin and Wanda Wreckonwith and threading a hole opened by teammate Citizen Pain, Killaman Jaro began accelerating. All around Jaro, the Supervillains continued to be sent to the box, and those remaining were no match for her speed. Killaman Jaro scored a triple slam, bringing the Heroes to within a point of their nemeses. 33-32 Villains with thirteen to play.
After a scoreless jam that sent Jax Kvaas to the box, Patently Offensive stepped to the line unopposed. Offensive broke through a light Superhero pack, got the lead, scored a point, and was sent to the box just as Jax was returning. Jax pulled a slam-plus for seven points and called the jam. This jam put the Heroes ahead for the first time in the game, and the Heroes built on that lead. Jax handed the remainder of Offensive's penalty visit to her teammate Scootaloo. Scoots took the lead and tore past Norah Torious and Flora Flipabitch. Patently Offensive returned to the track for about five seconds before being sent out again. Offensive came out a few seconds later as Scootaloo herself was penalized, but quickly returned to the box which freed up Scoots to score seven. Scootallo passed the power jam to fellow Superhero Buffy the Vampire Skater. Buffy scored two more before calling off the jam as she ran into Killaman Jaro's strong blocking.
The Villains responded with a four point jam from Rumblebee, but their momentum was cut short in the next jam as Patently tweaked her ankle and had to be helped to the back. Over the next three jams, Hell N Ready, Scarmen Hellectra, and Rumblebee all attempted comebacks, but none could break past a strong Superhero pack. Meanwhile, the Hero jammers built on the lead, scoring nine unanswered points over those jams. Villain Hanna Belle Lector scored on the last jam, but the gap was simply too large to overcome. In an amazing comeback, the Heroes won the day as time expired, 62-40.
In that second half, the Heroes outscored the Villains 52-7. That's a huge change from the previous half, and has a great deal to do with the format of the mixers; to accomodate the large number of players in a league mixer, team captains rotate players in and out at the half. This is more a logistic choice than anything; there's only so many RollerGirls that you can pack into the middle without someone throwing a punch. That said, the Superheroes did a remarkable job. Taking advantage of four near-consecutive power jams early in the half, the Heroes' play shone a spotlight on three excellent jammers - one of which we've never seen wear a star before. Jax Kvaas and Killaman Jaro tied for most points scored (18 each); it seems that we may see these two at the jammer line again soon (for different teams; Jax has played for the Rockits for three years, while Killaman is a Dagger Doll rookie). Also, teammate Trixie Whipsum went 4-for-4 as lead jammer. What's more, the blocking improved sharply; Killaman Jaro and Shiver Me Kimbers were in Supervillain faces throughout the half, while Lola Blackenblue and Sweet Justice called shots from the front.
With the league mixers complete, there's only place to go...January 2nd. You've gotten to see the newest rookies and the old vets work out the kinks of the summertime off-season; it's time for the home teams at last to hit the track. See you in two Saturdays.
Superheroes:
23 Jax Kvaas: 1-4, 18 pts
9 Killaman Jaro: 1-3, 18 pts
6 Trixie Whipsum: 4-4, 9 pts
FU Scootaloo: 1-1, 7 pts
18 Anita Spankston: 0-2, 4 pts
88 Jocelyn D'Jewels: 1-2, 3 pts
20 Buffy the Vampire Skater: 1-1, 2 pts
i4Ni Sweet Justice: 0-1, 1 pt
711 Ova Achieva: 0-5, 0 pts
36c Wonderbroad: 0-1, 0 pts
Supervillains:
4x4 Rumblebee: 3-5, 13 pts
28 Scarmen Hellectra: 4-5, 11 pts
281 Patently Offensive: 3-7, 9 pts
47 Shady O'Dread: 2-4, 3 pts
II Hell N Ready: 0-1, 0 pts
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